It's a double-post day for me. I have time and had to catch up on two very important thoughts. Now that my Memorial Day thought is done, on with a very big decision for me in regards to my health.
As I was training for the 10K my daughter and I did a few weeks ago I began to consider running a half marathon again this year. I figured I'd do the same race I did last year. It's a lovely course, nice time of year and I love doing the military runs. They are so patriotic.
Then I started looking over the training plan I knew I'd follow.
And ... then I had a pretty bad grief stricken day.
And ... then I began thinking how I'd have to start training now so the various summer plans we have wouldn't take away from the training.
And I began dreading the thought of having to do the training.
I enjoy running. For some reason it is a form of exercise I've come to really like. I have no real explanation for liking running. I wasn't a runner as a girl and I would've laughed in your face a few years ago if you would've told me I'd like running.
However, when I looked at the training schedule and felt dread flood my soul at the first long run being 6 miles I knew I had to rethink things.
Changing from a couch potato mama into a healthier, active mom hasn't been easy and I understand it's not always going to be. But I have truly come to understand and believe that we have to live this journey doing and eating things we enjoy -- things we can sustain.
Right now training for a 13.1 mile run is not something I felt like I would enjoy. As much as my pride hates to admit it, I just don't think I can handle the stress of having to plan and train for this race.
I keep thinking, "I want to enjoy the summer with my family. I want to lose these ten pounds I've gained and get back into better shape. I do not want to HAVE to run 4-5 miles minimum three times a week." Nor do I feel like getting up at 6:00 am all summer in order to beat the heat and humidity. I just don't feel like doing that right now.
So, I called my trusty friend who I know will be honest with me and she confirmed she didn't think I needed to stress myself out by adding a half marathon to my life right now. My husband was a little more confused because I trained for and ran the race last year while he was gone, and I could only sum it up like this:
Last year I wanted to run a half marathon, badly. It was on my bucket list, if you will, and I was excited about the training and finishing 13.1 miles. It also gave me something to focus on while my husband was deployed.
This year I do not feel like that at all. He was also supportive and said he'd support whatever I decided to do. I reassured him I would continue to take the HIIT classes three times a week and I would run or do cardio 1-2 days a week; I would not let this decision be an excuse not to exercise.
Then I decided I would not do the race. And let me tell you... I feel like a free woman.
Friday I went for a run and knowing a three-mile run (about 34-36 minutes for me right now) was enough for a good workout made the run so much more enjoyable.
Yesterday I decided not to run at all, but did the Arc Trainer for 45 minutes at the gym and I felt so good. I almost felt bad for not running; but when I was done and felt I had worked out hard I knew I was okay.
My healthiness journey started with walking. As my body has been able I've increased the level of fitness I strive for. Running has been something I've come to enjoy, but I'm learning that for me it may come and go in phases. As long as I stay active I know it's okay.
And actually...my daughter and I are planning on running a 10K in October, but for the summer I'm going to get stronger and simply enjoy being active and spending time with my family.
Such a freeing feeling....