Motivational Monday - She Got Me Into Running

A couple weeks ago my daughter beat her 5K personal best by 45 seconds.  As her coach went to congratulate her he also pointed out she had improved her time by 5 minutes since the first race of the cross country season.  

We are so proud of her!

That same afternoon she said something that both made me proud and motivated me to keep going.   She introduced me to someone and added, "She's the one who got me into running." 

When my kids were little and playing for hours on end in the front yard I never dreamed someday I'd be the one inspiring them to do anything athletic. (That was always my husband's idea of fun...)  

To hear her comment made my heart soar and also encouraged me to never give up on my new healthier lifestyle.  

Happy Monday!  Have a great week!


Sidenote:  The photo collage was made on my iPhone with the new Project Life App.  If you're at all into scrapbooking, or would like easy ways to make cute collages with your phone pictures that will be saved with a high enough resolution to print as saved..check it out.  You won't be disappointed.  :)

Weigh-In ... Not Posting

Today's Weight:  176.0

Loss/Gain:  +2.0

I wasn't going to post my weight today.  Yesterday I had decided I knew the scale was going to be up and why vex my readers by showing the yo-yoing.  But then I thought, "Why not?"  It's where I'm at and it's just a number and not posting it doesn't change the fact that I didn't track my food more than a couple days this week or that I didn't eat like I was trying to lose weight. 

There weren't really any bingeing moments, but definitely not too many moments of eating to just satisfied, or even eating as healthy as I could've. 

The other day I heard a comment on a podcast that really resonated with me.  The man said something to the effect of, "80% of the issue is the food and 20% is the exercise.  The real change comes when we change how we eat, and the exercise just brings nice added benefits of physical change."

I know the whole 80/20 thing and I must admit one of my mindsets that truly never changed was that I can't out exercise overeating.  When I heard that comment mentioning that the exercise just brings the nice benefit of toning, etc, it occurred to me that I didn't lose weight last summer by training for the half marathon.  

I simply toned up (a LOT) and was able to eat a lot more food because of the high calorie burn that many miles brings.  However, I lost the weight before that summer and it was changing how and what I ate that made the biggest difference. 

So, I'm still working on that.  I like to think I can workout tons, burn lots of calories and then eat a lot.  Unfortunately, my schedule doesn't always allow for that.  I have watched my calorie burn and learned over the years I do need to exercise some daily if I want to eat more than fruits and vegetables.  I do have a slower than some metabolism.  

But for now I need to wrap my head around eating a tad less to lose this weight I've put on.  I know I can do it, just gotta get it done.  

19 Years Through Thick and Thin

Today is my 19th wedding anniversary and I'm so blessed to have a husband who has loved me literally through thick and thin.  

This morning I told him it doesn't feel like it's been nineteen years and he replied, "It's because we're having fun!"  

Just like my scale, we've had our ups and downs, but we have continued to press on to make our marriage work.  

We also made a commitment on our wedding day that we would keep Jesus Christ at the center of our marriage and we both agree that were it not for Him we couldn't guarantee we'd still be happily married today.  

So, happy anniversary to us and one more day to realize that anything worth having is hard work, but always worth it in the end!

Weigh-In ... Cautiously Pleased

Today's Weight:  174.0

Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs

I have made huge non-scale strides this week, so I'm pleased with seeing results on the scale as well.  There is the cautious feeling of wondering if I can keep up the good change in eating habits to keep losing weight, so I reminded myself this morning that I just need to keep doing what I've done to lose these two and the weight will come off eventually. 

My goal for the weekend is to do my best to stay within my calorie budget.  My "cheat" day is always a weekend day, and quite honestly usually turns into the entire weekend, so I'm going to work on that this weekend.  

Monday I will come back with a nice motivational post I already have in my head, but for now I leave you with my new favorite breakfast...

I'll call it "Chocolate Protein Oatmeal".  

I was looking for something comforting to eat for breakfast that had more protein, but less sugar than the protein bars I normally eat for breakfast.  I'm now in love with my creation... I may even try vanilla powder and some pumpkin for the fall.  I'm inspired!

Thanks for checking in blogland friends!  I truly appreciate each and every one of you who take a moment to stop by.  I am encouraged by the comments you leave that I'm not alone in my struggles and it's not over.  

Have a great weekend!

Confession and A New Prayer

I have tried twice now to blog a bit of what I've been going through personally to give you an idea of some great "epiphanies" I'm having, but it just isn't coming out well at all. 

So, let's try this...

As I mentioned Friday I've been going through an issue I haven't shared on my blog.  It's nothing as major as my mother dying, yet it has been life changing for me.  

There has been an issue of forgiveness involved.  And in praying and reading and thinking about why I'm having a hard time forgiving I finally came to the realization about two weeks ago that a lot of why I'm having a hard time forgiving this person is because I'm a control freak and to forgive will mean to let it go and not feel the need to control everything.  

Dealing with this forgiveness issue has also really lead me to beat myself up as well, because I feel awful that at thirty eight years old I'm barely learning this lesson.  Had I learned it years ago it would've saved me much heartache and knowing that bugs the heck out of me.  *sigh*

Yes, I'm the oldest child, perfectionist, rule follower who has a hard time when I feel I'm not living up to others expectations -- or my own expectations.  

Oh, did I mention I've also admitted to being a control freak?  And admitting the need to change that has been the hardest thing I've attempted besides losing weight.  

I'm serious.  It's one thing to joke about it and it's another to admit it's causing friction in your life and needs to change. 

Dealing with all of this sort of piled up on two different occasions this past weekend and that lead to meltdowns.  My husband was gracious and kind to hear me out each time I blubbered through my frustrations, but he also spoke some words of wisdom and encouragement to me.  

I don't like admitting I need to change.  I see it as failure.  But even less, I don't like the feelings that come from being an unforgiving, controlling person.  And I really don't like how overindulging in food through all of this has lead to tight clothes and more feelings of failure. 

So, the first steps I've made towards complete forgiveness, letting go of control over things that really aren't mine to worry about and fitting better into my clothes is to forgive myself for my mistakes and make the conscious decision that I'm not going to keep looking back with regret over how I've let these areas of my life go wrong. 

I will not ignore the bad tendencies I had, but I will learn from them.  

I will not feel condemned for being unforgiving for a time, but will embrace that I have forgiven that person and will move forward.

I will no longer look at pictures of myself from just a year ago and hate how I've grown since then, but I will look at them as proof that it can be done and I can get there again.  (I wasn't a tiny, unattainable size, so it is completely doable.) 

It may take a little tightening of the belt calorically to lose the weight again, and it may not be easy, but this morning instead of praying, "Oh God, help me!! I can't do this!!" I found myself praying these words: 

"Thank you, Lord, that I have a healthy body that can run.  Thank you that I have the ability to make good food choices and the funds to keep those choices in my home.  Thank you that there is a way for me get back control of my health if I will but do the work."

I surprised myself when those words came out, and then I realized that when I allowed myself to forgive this other person, admit I need to not be such a control freak and then just learn from my mistakes instead of beating myself up over them I became a much happier, freer person. 

So, as always... I have made the choice to continue the fight for a healthier, happier Leah and I will not give up...even when life takes me on some major twists and turns.  *deep contented sigh* 

Thanks for stopping by!

Motivational Monday - Positive Thoughts Post

When I read this post I received in my email this morning I knew I needed to share it on my blog, because it goes right along with some thoughts I've had brewing this weekend about stopping the self hate talk.  

If you have a minute click on over to Eat More 2 Weight Less and enjoy the subject of Postitive Thoughts = Positive Results.

I'll come back later and share some of my own decisions to make the effort to change how I'm looking at where I'm at right now and focus on what is getting better instead of only seeing how far I need to go to reach where I was a year ago.  

Weigh-In ... It's Going to Be Okay

Today's Weight:  176.0

Loss/Gain: + 0.5 lb

I almost wanted to post the average of my last three days' weights, but I figured I'll be honest about what the scale said today.  That being said (and weight officially posted already)  for the record... 

Wednesday's Weight:  175

Thursday's Weight:  173

Today's Weight:  176 

The week started out horrible with TOM coming, arriving and my hormone's taking quite a hit this time around.  However, I pulled on my big girl panties along with my Body Media armband and workout shoes and headed out to my cycle class Wednesday morning even though I wanted to crumble up and cry my eyes out longer than the few minutes I already had. 

I made it through the class, pushed myself and didn't exactly feel awesome afterwards, but I did feel much better.  I could tell the hormones were finally easing up from this month of PMS and I was grateful for that.  Cramps were a pain (pun intended) so I just got through the day.

Then I had the opportunity to text chat with my dear friend/weight loss sounding board, Stephanie, finishing up with a quick phone conversation about two hours later and I felt like my world was alright again.  

There is more going on in my life right now than just trying to lose the 15 pounds I've gained in the last 10 months.  There have been some life lessons I'm working through that I've never alluded to on my blog.  In fact, when I think about how this year has gone it all makes sense that I put some weight on.  It also makes sense why my emotions have been kind of all over the place.

I'm finishing up reading "Deadly Emotions" by Don Colbert, M.D. and I've really learned a lot from it with regards to how you react to life can directly affect your health.  He's really brought some insight into a personal area that I've been struggling with over the last six months.  

2014 has proven to be one of the hardest years I've had to endure in life, but today as I was slogging it out through 7 hot and humid miles running I realized ... If I never had to face struggles in life I'd never be able to relate to or encourage someone who is struggling themselves.  

This is much easier for me to tell someone else than it is for me to embrace, but I'm trying.  In my book, and as I've told many others with regards to various non-food issues, as long as I keep trying and don't quit I know success will follow. 

And who knows... some day there may be someone who has a crappy year and doesn't manage to keep their new eating habits in check while they process the events and now I'll know what that's like. Due to my own experience I'll be able to tell them that it's okay and they will be able to lose the weight again when life settles a bit..as long as they keep trying.  :)

Thanks for check in!  I hope you have a great weekend!  I will.  

Remembering 9/11

Today my heart and prayers go out to those who lost family members and friends on that frightful day thirteen years ago.  

Blah Day

I didn't post a "Motivational Monday" because I wasn't feeling very motivated.  I'm pretty sure it's a bad combination of PMS with my current weight/size, so I have hope it will get better. 

Meanwhile I have a lean roast in the oven and am making some pureed cauliflower and a salad to go with it.  

The only good thing about TOM coming is the hormones usually even out pretty soon after the onset and suddenly there is hope in my weight world again.  So, when that hits I'll be back to share happier thoughts. 

Until then I'm trying to think just enough about how horrible I feel in my tight clothes to motivate me to stick to my plan and not think about it so much it ruins my day.  

Weigh-In ... I Knew It

Today's Weight:  175.5

Loss/Gain:  +1.5 lbs

Considering the week I've had nutritionally I'm not surprised at all by this weight.  I was hoping for a maintain, but the last two days have been crave-city and then we had a late dinner with some friends last night and I knew it would affect my weight this morning. 

I'm not real pleased with seeing a gain versus a maintain, but I know it's not here to stay.  I'm going to keep working on it.  

Have a good weekend! 

She Kicks My Butt

The lady who used to teach the Cycle Circuit class I usually take at the gym is out on maternity leave.  Her replacement is new to me and I've fallen in love with her teaching style.  She pushes us and yet makes us laugh too.  

Lately she keeps telling us this is the "Ball Bodies" class; preparing us to wear evening gowns for the Marine Corps and Navy balls coming up this fall/winter.  We giggle until we realize she has us climbing mountains so hard that we swear if we were truly on real bikes we'd have fallen over a long time ago.  :)

Then when she has us get off the bike and do squats and lunges, I know I'm pretty sure I'm so very out of shape and my legs will not hold up the duration of the day...much less be ready to run tomorrow.

But...as is always the case... apparently it works, because today as we were doing sprints on the bike I realized I was hitting 128-130 RPMs.  Wowsa!  I've never been able to get my legs to make the rotations fast enough to hit that high of a speed, much less do it with a bit of resistance.  

And when we got back on the bikes after what felt like a hundred squats and lunges with 50-pound weighted bars (It was only about 45-90 squats and 45 lunges each leg with an 8-pound ball) I thought my legs were going to give out.  

But they didn't.  After only a rotation or two I was back to pretty much keeping up with what she was asking of us.

I shared with her after class about my little speed work victory and she was willing to take a picture with me.  She knows how it feels to accomplish goals, because she has an amazing weight loss story herself and today she mentioned she has a FaceBook page about her personal training and motivational help she offers.  

You can check her out here:  Size Healthy

She kicks my butt, but she has an amazing testimony!  I love it!

Motivational Monday - I Can

I hope you all had a nice Labor Day.  We enjoyed a day at the beach with some friends.  It was beautiful out.  The winds kicked up a bit, which made for lots of waves and a nice breeze for when we were not in the water.  

For motivation this week I want to share a little piece I put together for Instagram last Saturday after running my long run. 

This is the first time I've run 6 miles since the Wounded Warrior 10K in May.  I knew it would be slow, assumed around 1 hour 20 minutes, and I wasn't too far off. 

As seems to be the case of late, I was vexed to be running slower.  However, during my run I was listening to a podcast wherein the woman being interviewed made a comment that she no longer tells herself she can't do x, y or z due to physical limitations, but that she simply has to do them modified. 

"I can not do jumping jacks.", she said.  "They truly do hurt my legs. So, I simply do a side jack, low-impact, but I do not tell myself 'I can't do them'."  

It occurred to me that I need to remind myself of that.

No, I can not run 10K in 1 hour 6 minutes right now (I believe that is my personal best so far.), but...

I. CAN. RUN. 6. MILES.

Period. 

Even with a slower time I can still complete a six-mile run and that is something to be proud of. 

So, no more "I can't _____."  Simply "I can." even if I have to modify at first as I'm getting back into regular, more intense exercise.  

*contented sigh*