Blah Day

I didn't post a "Motivational Monday" because I wasn't feeling very motivated.  I'm pretty sure it's a bad combination of PMS with my current weight/size, so I have hope it will get better. 

Meanwhile I have a lean roast in the oven and am making some pureed cauliflower and a salad to go with it.  

The only good thing about TOM coming is the hormones usually even out pretty soon after the onset and suddenly there is hope in my weight world again.  So, when that hits I'll be back to share happier thoughts. 

Until then I'm trying to think just enough about how horrible I feel in my tight clothes to motivate me to stick to my plan and not think about it so much it ruins my day.  

Weigh-In ... I Knew It

Today's Weight:  175.5

Loss/Gain:  +1.5 lbs

Considering the week I've had nutritionally I'm not surprised at all by this weight.  I was hoping for a maintain, but the last two days have been crave-city and then we had a late dinner with some friends last night and I knew it would affect my weight this morning. 

I'm not real pleased with seeing a gain versus a maintain, but I know it's not here to stay.  I'm going to keep working on it.  

Have a good weekend! 

She Kicks My Butt

The lady who used to teach the Cycle Circuit class I usually take at the gym is out on maternity leave.  Her replacement is new to me and I've fallen in love with her teaching style.  She pushes us and yet makes us laugh too.  

Lately she keeps telling us this is the "Ball Bodies" class; preparing us to wear evening gowns for the Marine Corps and Navy balls coming up this fall/winter.  We giggle until we realize she has us climbing mountains so hard that we swear if we were truly on real bikes we'd have fallen over a long time ago.  :)

Then when she has us get off the bike and do squats and lunges, I know I'm pretty sure I'm so very out of shape and my legs will not hold up the duration of the day...much less be ready to run tomorrow.

But...as is always the case... apparently it works, because today as we were doing sprints on the bike I realized I was hitting 128-130 RPMs.  Wowsa!  I've never been able to get my legs to make the rotations fast enough to hit that high of a speed, much less do it with a bit of resistance.  

And when we got back on the bikes after what felt like a hundred squats and lunges with 50-pound weighted bars (It was only about 45-90 squats and 45 lunges each leg with an 8-pound ball) I thought my legs were going to give out.  

But they didn't.  After only a rotation or two I was back to pretty much keeping up with what she was asking of us.

I shared with her after class about my little speed work victory and she was willing to take a picture with me.  She knows how it feels to accomplish goals, because she has an amazing weight loss story herself and today she mentioned she has a FaceBook page about her personal training and motivational help she offers.  

You can check her out here:  Size Healthy

She kicks my butt, but she has an amazing testimony!  I love it!

Motivational Monday - I Can

I hope you all had a nice Labor Day.  We enjoyed a day at the beach with some friends.  It was beautiful out.  The winds kicked up a bit, which made for lots of waves and a nice breeze for when we were not in the water.  

For motivation this week I want to share a little piece I put together for Instagram last Saturday after running my long run. 

This is the first time I've run 6 miles since the Wounded Warrior 10K in May.  I knew it would be slow, assumed around 1 hour 20 minutes, and I wasn't too far off. 

As seems to be the case of late, I was vexed to be running slower.  However, during my run I was listening to a podcast wherein the woman being interviewed made a comment that she no longer tells herself she can't do x, y or z due to physical limitations, but that she simply has to do them modified. 

"I can not do jumping jacks.", she said.  "They truly do hurt my legs. So, I simply do a side jack, low-impact, but I do not tell myself 'I can't do them'."  

It occurred to me that I need to remind myself of that.

No, I can not run 10K in 1 hour 6 minutes right now (I believe that is my personal best so far.), but...

I. CAN. RUN. 6. MILES.

Period. 

Even with a slower time I can still complete a six-mile run and that is something to be proud of. 

So, no more "I can't _____."  Simply "I can." even if I have to modify at first as I'm getting back into regular, more intense exercise.  

*contented sigh*

Weigh-In ... Better Down Than Up

Today's Weight:  174.0

Loss/Gain: - 2.0 lbs

It pains me to say I am down two pounds this week, but I'm higher than I was at the beginning of the month.  I also get frustrated when I see myself in my workout clothes with pudginess in spots I didn't have a while ago.  Or frustrated when I put on some capris that were getting loose on me a year ago, but are so snug now I'd rather not where them unless I have to.  Or frustrated that my speed work during my run yesterday had me running my fast speed at what used to be my average speed a year ago.  

However, *deep cleansing breath*, I have done very well this week getting back on track.  Some non-scale victories include:

• Since Monday I have stayed within my calorie budget.  Sometimes I eat my exercise calories and sometimes I don't.  
• I have actually drank 4 cups of water a day, among my other beverages.  (Boy, how I'd let my water intake slide as well lately...)
• Yesterday I resisted the samples of the new pumpkin with cream cheese filling muffin at Starbucks.  
• When I realized the sandwich I had to order instead of the turkey bacon one I usually get at Starbucks was almost double the calories -- after the fact -- I made up for it by not having a snack in the afternoon.  I was pretty hungry by dinnertime, but I knew I had to be careful. 

You'll notice these all are food victories.  Getting the food under control again is my main goal.  So, even though I'm frustrated that I even have to deal with getting weight back off again, I'm grateful the scale is down and not up some more. 

Thanks for checking in and for all of your support as I get back on track.  I really appreciate the words of encouragement.  Have a good weekend!

Repost: Are You Lying to Yourself?

I have to confess that I am not beating myself up for the gain that I'm experiencing this year.  (See post from earlier today.)  It's been a rough year. 

Do I wish I could've handled the changes in my life without gaining weight?  Of course. 

Do I wish I would've seen the ten-pound gain and lost it over the summer without putting on another five pounds?  Absolutely.

However, that has not been the case.  For some reason, that I really can not put my hand on, I have not gotten serious until now.  I say that because as I am about to go to bed I can proudly say I've stayed within my calorie budget for the day -- including a mini s'mores I made with my girls after dinner.  

One of the things that has been helpful to me is to see motivational quotes and articles that kind of bring my mind back into focus.  

This article titled, "Are You Lying to Yourself?" by Bonnie Phiester pretty much sums up what I've been doing.  Being honest with myself has always been key to my success, so I thought I'd share this article with you all in case you need a good dose of honesty like I did. 

176 ... First Ugh, Second a Plan

Last Thursday, before packing up and heading out to our church's 3-day kids camp, I decided to weigh myself.  I won't belabor you with my reasons, but let me tell you I wasn't pleased with what I saw. 

176

Um, that's up 4 pounds from the beginning of the month.  That was also after getting back into regular exercise, so I was a bit mortified.  I kind of chalked it up to water retention from exercise or my muscles growing already, so I tried to not let it bother me too much.  

However, while at camp I could tell in my clothing that 176 was probably a real number.  Lately, I've noticed my middle seems fuller than it has in a long while; even before my skin removal surgery.  

Sunday morning I weighed myself again, hoping I'd still see 176 because I'm always up a couple of pounds after camp, so if that number was a fluke it might still be there.  

Um, no.  It said 180.  

Proving 176 was most likely a true reading a few days earlier.   

Ugh. Double ugh.  How embarrassing. 

The only good thing about this revelation of where I'm truly at right now is that I did not allow that number to ruin my Sunday.  Instead I decided on a plan. 

• I am going back to weekly weigh-ins while losing this weight I've allowed to creep back on.  
• I am also faithfully tracking my food daily AND making sure to stay within my calorie budget six days of the week.  
• I will continue with my regular exercise, including running 2-3 days a week and HIIT classes 2-3 days a week.  My goal is to exercise 4-5 days a week at minimum.  

The exercise is nothing new.  Outside of my surgery recovery time I've never really had a problem getting 4-5 days of exercise in, especially once my children return to school. 

The food is a whole other ballgame and that has been my problem.  I'm on day 2 of tracking and staying within my allotted calorie budget for the day and it's going fine so far.  

For the record, I have My Fitness Pal set to lose 1 pound a week, so I'm allotted 1520 calories daily.  I will input my exercise, but I think I'm going to try and only eat about 1700 total, even if MFP allows me more...unless I'm truly hungry.  

This is a lifelong journey and I don't plan on starving myself back down the scale (and to where my clothes fit comfortably again).  I also refuse to buy bigger clothes, because this recent thicker Leah is not my new normal.  

So, there it is.  I've seen another new highest number, I'm a tad humiliated, but instead of letting it take me down I'm choosing to make a plan.  

If I don't make it back before Friday I'll see you then with my weigh-in -- hopefully it will be less than 176.  (It was already back down to 178 a day after camp...that weight never stays for long..whew!)