My Emotions Didn't Stop Me

Monday morning I woke up in a bit of an emotional mess.  It was the kind of mess that made me want to drop my son off at school and return home to cry and pray through it.  I went to bed with it and was sad that it was still there when I woke up.  Ugh. 

Instead of giving in to my emotional distress I dressed for the gym, took my son to school and told myself I was going to exercise -- I just had to walk for 30 minutes, but I had to do something.

Why didn't I allow myself a break?  

I know that is necessary sometimes, but as I get back into the groove of losing the 35 pounds I have gained I am trying to see where I made mistakes and learn from them. 

One mistake I believe I made was when times were legitimately rough and stressful I chose to just get through my days and not exercise.  It wasn't always that I couldn't get away for a 30 minute walk, but more like I fell into a place where if I couldn't get to my class of hard core exercise, or get myself to go for a run I wouldn't do anything.  

I recently told a friend I wonder what would've happened if someone would've encouraged me to get just a nice 30-minute walk in. 

Or what if I would've given myself permission to simply go for a walk when I didn't feel like I could perform [current heavy duty exercise regimen]? 

Well, I give myself that permission now.  And I encouraged myself to simply get that walk done so as to keep the place of exercise in my daily routine. 

It wasn't easy.  I had tears even as I pulled up to the Y, but I got on the treadmill, started walking briskly and got it done.  It felt good, and interestingly enough, the advice I was so terribly wishing I could ask my mother (who passed away 2 1/2 years ago) was sort of touched on through a podcast I was listening to.  

So, not only did I feel better for having got my exercise in, but I was encouraged through a randomly selected podcast where two sentences spoke exactly to what I was stressed about.

Victory!