Always Gonna Be Another Mountain

I just got back from a run.  It was a cloudy 60 degrees out.  Perfect for running.  I knew I'd start out a little slower and I was okay with that.  I was planning to run 4 miles, so I didn't want to push it too much at the start and be dying when I finished.

It was an enjoyable run.  My iPod was set up with new music, people I passed were friendly and at mile 3 I knew I'd finish no problem.

Then I looked at my Garmin... and my pace --11:22 at that glance ... and the good feelings began to slip away as negative thoughts poured down on me.

"Boy have I slowed down!"

"I'm never going to be able to run ______."

"If I'm slow again when it's cool out I'm gonna be horrible as the weather warms."

I'm going to be bluntly honest and tell you that as I finished up I put on the song I've chosen as my personal weight loss mantra/song The Climb by Miley Cyrus ... and I began to cry.

The first two lines of the song summed up how I felt:

I can almost see it

That dream I'm dreaming,

but there's a voice inside my head

Saying you'll never reach it.

Yep, as I walked around my driveway cooling down I was crying.  I let it out.  For about 2-3 minutes I just let the tear comes.

That's when I paid attention to another portion of lyrics of her song:

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments

That I'm gonna remember most

Yea, just gotta keep going

And I, I gotta be strong

Just keep pushing on

Cause, there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna want to make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

And sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

And then the tears subsided.  I reminded myself, "YOU JUST RAN 4 MILES, LEAH!!" I didn't instantly feel better, but I calmed down, and I remembered for the umpteenth time that living a healthier life is constantly going to have it's struggles.

Shoot.  Life is going to have struggles.  

And every time we challenge ourselves, or step into a new arena it's going to take work.  It's not going to be easy.  But...it will always be worth it. 

That's when my other healthiness mantra/song came on ... Never Going Back to OK by The Afters.

And these lyrics freshened my resolve to keep going: 

But that was yesterday

We're never going back to OK.

We're never going back to easy

We're never going back to the way it was

We're never going back to OK.

So, there it is.  A lesson I learned on my run today.

Yes, there's always going to be another mountain and it's not about how fast I get over it.  I just have to keep pushing on.  And I will, because, I'm never going to back to just okay.