Today we had an issue with one of our children that required some discipline and a talking to. During the course of my husband talking to the child I overhear him say, "What's it going to take for you to learn?"
My mind instantly responded with, "Yea, Leah, what's it going to take for you to learn? This is [child]'s issue that needs dealing with, but you have an issue as well. When are you going to gain control over this area and get the weight off?"
I know two other people personally who have put off taking care of their weight at all, even though they knew that they needed to do something. One finally is trying to take care of things due to a major wake-up call by the doctor.
Now I truly believe we need to learn to love ourselves as we are, and we don't necessarily need to beat ourselves up over slow weight loss. But what is it going to take for us me to realize that I'm still overweight and unhealthy?
Yes, I'm around 50 pounds down, but 183 isn't near a healthy weight for a 5' 4" woman. In fact, I read an article today in Shape magazine wherein the testimonial of this woman stated how she hit her highest weight of 183 (at 5' 5") and was disgusted with how big she had become.
Her 'ah-ha' moment came when she hit the weight I'm glad to have reached.
Again, I know that I am happy to be where I am. I feel better than I have in years, but the truth of the matter is that I am not done and I have habits that need breaking - daily, even hourly - if I am ever going to reach my healthy goal weight.
While this may all sound very vexing I have to tell you it's more like a reality check for me. I'm having a rough time getting back on track, but I know I'm capable. I've had great days and weeks where it wasn't as hard, and I've even fasted for three days straight in the past, so I know I can do this.
What I have to ask myself is what's it gonna take for me to realize that I'm not healthy yet and have a lot of work to do?
Reading that article where her highest weight was me now?
A doctor to remind me that at 183 I'm still considered "obese"?
Feeling guilty while correcting a child to reign in a bad habit while I hide my overeating?
This is the question that plagues me right now and one I need to work on answering. Honestly, if I lost five pounds a month I'd be content, but right now I'm not even doing that.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for being so honest! I struggle to know when enough is enough. I am close (14 pounds) to being at a healthy BMI, but I worry that it won't be enough. On the flip side there are days that I think "I've lost 170 pounds. That should be enough". You'll get there! Is there a new exercise or food that you've wanted to try that will get you closer to your goal?
ReplyDeleteI hear you! I continue to be so mad at myself for gaining the 5 lbs I have. But I just can't seem to get myself back into it (granted I have enormous stress right now, but that really shouldn't be an excuse). I know I have to. The high of losing the weight is so good for me - why can't I do it so I can feel that complete elation again?!
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