"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Changing Routines

Note:  This is a photo-less post, because I'm squeezing some blogging in between packing boxes. :)

Hi!  I'm alive and the girls are moved and settled at their colleges! :)

It continues to be quite busy around here, because we are also now moving.  However, it's working out pretty good -- the second college student move ended and we came home with perfect time to focus on our own move.

I also feel more ready to focus on my health.  One of the things I am working on is making sure to get some exercise in daily.  To make it as regular to me as my morning devotions; so necessary that I feel lost if I skip it.  

To be honest, exercising is easy for me when I don't have a lot going on, but when I get busy it's the first thing to go.  I don't always regret that, as it is sometimes what my schedule requires, but I know intentional exercise is key for me to be healthier.

Making sure to get exercise in has required me to rethink my days a little and I'm finding that it works out nicely if I get it done directly after taking my son to school.  This means I come home and do my devotions after exercise, which I was hesitant to do because I like to start my day with devotions before any distractions set in.  

When I'm at the gym, or walking, my mind begins to think about the day and it takes a bit of focus to block it all out for just a little longer to spend some time in prayer.  However, I've followed this new schedule for a few days and it's gone just fine.

Changing up my routine is a little uncomfortable, but I think as I really think about what's important to me and make decisions to take care of those priorities I will be a better person for it.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

I Choose Better

Cute bowl make everything taste better!
We have a new leader at my Weight Watcher meetings and I'm falling in leader love.  She's ultra peppy and motivating, she has lost weight two times and understands the struggle not only to lose, but to maintain, and most importantly... she believes in us.

As she discussed the weekly meeting subject of optimism I leaned over to my WW friend and commented, "She makes me think I can do this.  (old leader) made me feel okay for not doing so great, because she understood life struggles, but this lady makes me want to try harder." 

Later when I realized I have now lost the 4 pounds I gained during my trip to Arizona I was even more inspired that I can indeed get back on track.  

In fact, I found myself eating my grapes as a snack as I prepared lunch (and was starving!! the quick sugar was helpful I'm sure...)

But then today a food challenge of sorts hit me.  Nothing serious, but I knew what I had to do.

Lunchtime came and I had to decide between a bagel and cream cheese and a bowl of lower fat cottage cheese with toast broken in to it (it looks messy, but it's one of my favorites!!) I chose the cottage cheese mix.  

Can I have the bagel?  Yes.  I have room in my calorie/points budget for it, but it would've taken a great chunk out of my day.  

Do I really need a bagel?  No.  That's a lot of carbs for someone who isn't doing heavy cardio right now and my body, my blood sugar is what came to mind actually, will feel better having the cheese and toast. 

So, I chose the better. 

And for the first time in a long time I was proud of my choice.  Not because I haven't made some good choices recently, but because I told myself no to something I actually wanted to have but wasn't the best choice for me.  

And that better choice felt so good. 

It was a glimpse into what used to be my "new normal", and it gave me hope that I will be there again. [insert contented sigh] :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Recuperating and (Re)Focusing

Well, look at that!  August is here.  We knew this summer would be a busy one and, indeed, it has been.  Grab a cup of your favorite beverage...I have a bit of catching up to do.  

Moving daughter #1 to her new college hometown went well.  Saying that final goodbye was so hard, but not because I wasn't happy for her or excited at her opportunities ahead... The night before her sister and I would leave to return home I felt nerves and anxious like the night before a race.  

I texted a friend and said I feel like I do before a race, "Just get me over the start line and everything will be fine."  I just wanted to get over the actual "goodbye" and then I felt I'd be fine.  
Bye for now!
And I was.  And I am.  

Oddly enough, the hardest part about the first week with her gone was catching up on sleep.  I was exhausted last week.  It's like I needed a vacation to recoup from the vacation.  I guess stress will do that to you.

But she is nicely settled and I feel more like my normal self now.  It's been fun hearing about her adventures with friends and sending and receiving texts about things, like what to wear to the job interview.  She got the job, by the way.  Woot!  We won't have to pay for gas and groceries for much longer.  lol 

And now I'm settling down into as much a routine as one can when there's another child to move to college and a move for our own household in the works.  
My son tried capturing this beautiful sunset as we went to look at an apartment one evening.
Yes, as if there isn't anything else for me to to, we've decided to downsize and use what we'll be saving in rent and utilities to pay off some debt.  We also want to start looking for a house to buy.  This is a first for us and I'm excited about the process.  The best part, for me, is since we'll be downsized and be paying off debt, if the house buying process takes a while I won't mind, because we'll be using that time to continue to pay off debt. 

You can tell I'm excited about this debt-paying thing since I've mentioned it like four times in the last paragraph.  LOL  :D 

I'm also excited to get more focused on my weight again.  

I'm lying. 

I actually teared up in fear yesterday talking to the new WW leader after the meeting.  She is a spunky leader with a story very similar to mine and when I told her I didn't raise my hand at her, "How many of you will make it to goal weight?" [insert rah! rah! 120% positive enthusiasm] 

She asked why and I explained, "Because I can't imagine weighing 145 pounds."  I explained I had maintained 160-165 for a year and a half, but the thought of getting any lower just frightens me.  As I shared the latter I felt this wall of fear creep up to protect my heart and emotions.  

I'm good at sharing my story and not being nervous, accepting failures come, etc. etc., but my heart started pounding a mile a minute as I spoke with her.  We agreed the battle is in the mind and I just looked at her with a nervous smile and said I would work on speaking positive words.  

On my way home I also added, "Take it one day at a time."  When I started with WW back in April I told myself my goal was to get through one day, and then through the next day.  Each day added up and I saw regular losses.  

Unfortunately, I'm still not good with juggling staying on plan and planning graduations and moving, etc.  I know it's a laziness of sorts, but I also think it's a space thing.

I only have the capacity to focus on so many things at once.  But before I go on about how I working through choosing what to focus on, just be assured I am including my health at the top of that list. 

While fear of failure may threaten to overtake me when I think about reaching a weight loss goal, the fire of determination that I refuse to be 232 lbs again is still there.  Pushing me on.  

Because, if you've been around here for any length of time you already know...I. refuse. to. quit. 

So, here I am.  Living well, enjoying my summer that will fall in the books as unforgettable I'm sure.  And if you made it this far... kudos and I hope you enjoyed your beverage along the way.  [grin]

Thanks for stopping by!