"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Non-Scale Victory

I have to share this...

Yesterday we went on an all-day outreach handing out fliers to invite people to a free christian concert we were supporting in the evening.  Not including the time spent hanging around waiting to get going, etc. we spent about 2 1/2  hours walking around neighborhoods handing out fliers door to door.  It was HOT and HUMID and there were some hills to walk up and over.  However...[drum roll please] .... my legs didn't hurt at all from all the walking.  Not one bit!!!  I was only miserable because of the heat and humidity, but not because I was too tired of the walking.  The soles of my feet were a little sore, but I think it's because I need new tennis shoes and that's it.  (well, and because I'm still carrying around too much extra weight)

I told Freddy that I think I wasn't sore at all because I've been working out and walking daily.  I have a feeling that a year ago I would've been really sore in my legs from all that walking and standing.  He agreed.  

So, that was encouraging.  I'm still carrying a lot of extra weight around, but my body it becoming more fit and some things that would have been hard for me are getting a little easier.  Yay!!  

Soda & Bread

I've really cut back my soda intake and have limited myself to having one glass with my meals.  However, sometimes we'll eat out and share a large Coke and I find myself drinking more than my small glass.  So, to try and help the scale go down I decided that I really need to cut that regular soda out completely right now.  I don't really care for too much diet, but if I seriously feel that I need soda with my meal, then I'll drink diet.

This isn't going to be easy, because some meals are just better with a regular Pepsi.  However, it's one small change that I just feel I need to make now.  I'll probably end up drinking water with meals.  I'll let you know. 

I'm also going to cut back on my breads and starches.  I tried that today by deciding not to have mashed potatoes with my chicken.  I'll also make sure that if I need to have  sandwich I make myself use the 100% whole wheat bread I've been buying.  

These are my new small food goals that I've added and I'm hoping they will make a difference in my weight loss attempts.  

Little Changes

Today we had KFC for lunch and decided to go for the bucket of grilled chicken instead of the fried chicken.  It was sooooo good!  Just as juicy inside, but without the fried coating outside.  

I also decided to opt out of eating mashed potatoes and instead had a good serving of cole slaw with one chicken breast and a biscuit.  The biscuit was my splurge.  :)  I also ordered a diet pepsi instead of regular soda.  

They aren't big changes, but little changes that will add up to big results in the future.  I was satisfied and knew that I ate a lot less calories than the last time we had KFC! 

Saturday, June 27, 2009


Todays' Weight:  226.5
This week's loss:  -1.5
Total loss so far: -4.5 lbs.

I was scared to weigh myself this morning and very relieved to see that it was down and not up.  

I've been sticking to my weekly goals and have decided this week that I'm going to begin watching my food intake a little more closely.  Mainly not eating late at night,  or at least keeping it very simple if I'm really hungry (because that does happen some times if I don't eat much at dinner and we do our toning exercises).  

We are headed out this morning for an all-day outreach with our church and I packed almonds, cheese sticks, fruit and some hard boiled eggs to take along as snacks and sandwiches and little bags of chips for our lunch.  I don't want to be caught hungry and snacking on tons of crackers and/or junk all day.  :)  Yes, we also have plenty of water.  Can you believe I'm more worried about not having enough water all day?  That's a switch.

Well, here's to another week in my journey.  I'm encouraged that it's not all in vain and the hard work will pay off.  Day by day and with baby steps I will find my way down this weight loss journey. 

Have a good weekend!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I kicked his butt!

Last night my husband wanted to do one of The Firm DVDs with me.  He couldn't get the hang of the movements and was getting so frustrated.  He wanted to just stop it because he was so confused when it came to the little cardio parts that he felt it wasn't doing him any good.  He finally told me, "You're good at this!! I can't follow her at all. "  I made him finish it, because he's always telling me I can't just quit when it gets hard.  :o)

I may have lots more weight to lose than him and he may already be showing results from his working out, but I kicked his butt in a step aerobics workout!!  Woo Hoo!!  

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Firm Workout

About 4 years ago I bought this set of DVDs and step box along with some light hand weights.  Even though I quit using the set I never got rid of them.  Since they include both weights and cardio I decided to pull it out the other day and try them again in conjunction with my Walk At Home DVDs.

I'll tell you what they killed me today!!  My son was up a little early and was watching me workout and I had to ask him to go upstairs, because honestly I just wanted to cry and I didn't want him to see me.  When I tried these before I was about 40 pounds lighter.   Even then I remember some of the moves being difficult.

I'm going to do The Firm two mornings a week and my walking DVDs the other days.  

Monday, June 22, 2009

Confessions of a Fat mom

I wasn't going to post this, but I decided to go ahead and share and be honest. 

Saturday I took my 11-year-old daughters to a birthday party at a splash park/pool.  We had already been at another birthday party for the hour-and-a-half prior to this one and it was warm out, about 90+ degrees with humidity.  

When we arrived at the splash park I mentioned in passing, "Whew! I should've brought my bathing suit!"  To which both responded with a quick look of slight horror and Ballerina gives me quick shakes of the head to say "PLEASE NO!!".  

I was like, "What??"  Then I discreetly pointed out two women sitting in swimsuits on the edge of the pool who were larger than I and reminded my daughters that at least I always wear my hawaiian cover up that goes to my knees.  

Ballerina finally says, "Well, just don't ever wear a bikini!" and we all laughed.  (another story for another time).  

Though we laughed through it and I think they were only embarrassed because their friends from school would be there not because I would actually wear mine in public (which I did at the lake a month ago)..I was hurt.  

This was the first time that I remember any of my kids being embarrassed of me and my size.  

I kept thinking, "I've finally comes to love myself as I am, get over what other people think, swim with my kids if I want to because I know I'm working on it and now I'm being rejected by them!!!!!!"    Brats.

When I pointed it out to my husband he only smiled apologetically, patted my arm and said, "Motivation."  It wasn't the response I wanted.  

I won't dwell on the little bit of pre-teen brainlessness and I will try to use it to motivate me; but it was definitely not my favorite-est of moments and something I hope I NEVER have to hear from my children again.  

Side Note:  I told another mom and she laughed and said she'd just "embarrassed" her 14-year-old by dripping mustard on her blouse in public....so I'm encouraged by that and knowing my kids really aren't vicious..just clueless sometimes.  :o)

One Month Later

I decided that I'll take a picture of myself in this same outfit every month -- even if there is no large weight loss that month. For some reason I thought I took the photo on May 22nd, so I waited until this morning to take it. Looking back, it was May 15th. :) oops. 

So below is the link after my first month of regular workouts and getting some good eating habits in order. :)

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Climb

So, I've posted my weigh-in, some funny photos and then as I looked my blog over I began to listen to the song, "The Climb" that I have on here.  

My husband reminded me that muscle weighs more than fat and the weight will come off.  

I caught the line in this song that says something about it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there.  

Okay, I will listen to this song and be reminded that this journey isn't going to be easy, nor is it going to be a fast one.  But I know I will make it to the other side.  

I found some old photos from six years ago of myself when I was down to 170 lbs.  I've put them out in my bedroom where I can look at them regularly to remind myself th
at I can do this and I will get there again..and actually pass that and reach my final goal this time.  

Here's to continuing the climb!  

Oh, the pain!

Well, we finished up our first week of working out each morning and then doing toning exercises every night.  Last night my husband decided we should try this 35-minute cardio workout by The Firm.  

It was killer!!!  Part of the fun was watching him try to do step aerobics.  I was laughing most of the time.  It was fun, but so much harder than my Walk At Home DVDs.  whew!  

I think I'm going to do one of these two mornings a week to challenge myself a bit more.  We'll see. 

Anyway, we made it through the first week of more intense working out and I'm not really dying, but my legs ARE very sore.  That's a good thing, right? :) 

New Weigh-In Day

One of my best friends has started working on her own weight loss journey, so we decided to weigh-in on the same day so we can compare our progress together.   

So, here's my weigh-in stats for this week.  

Today's weight:  228.0
That is up 1/2 lb. from Tuesday morning. 

My reaction:  I cried.  I've worked out a lot this week and I was sure it would be at least down a pound or so.  I'm not sure what's up and I'll admit I wanted to quit right then.  

However, I know this is a long-term journey and I can't let the scale ruin my day, so I have to make myself keep going and keep my chin up.

My husband weighed himself today also and he is also up a half of a pound.  

I'm hoping it's because my muscles are toning.  I'm afraid maybe I didn't eat enough, but who knows.  

I just need to step away from this for today and try to get my happy face back on.  I know deep down it will come off, but I'm a little vexed at the moment. 

Friday, June 19, 2009

First Full Workout Week

I just finished my fifth morning of working out.  I averaged 55-60 minutes of working out every morning.  We've also been doing toning exercises every night before bed.

Go me.  

I'm sweaty, tired, but I'm proud that I did it.  

Oh, and I'm also VERY hungry.  So, off I go to shower and eat some breakfast. 

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I think I saw a muscle!

I workout in my living room directly in front of the fireplace where I can see my reflection in the glass of the doors.  (My computer where I play the workout DVDs is to the left of the fireplace. ) Well, this morning I was watching my feet in the fireplace door glass and I think I saw a muscle!  

Yep, it was there, slightly defined, but it was definitely there!  Whee!!  

You know moving this  big ole body around at this weight is going to make my legs so strong that when I lose weight these workouts are going to seem easier.  Kind of like singing a solo in choir 7 months pregnant and then singing it after having my son - it was so much easier the second time around.

I'm looking forward to that..being lighter on my feet when I workout and just lighter on my feet in general...and to more muscles making their appearance as the fat falls to the wayside!

p.s. I told my husband last night, "My abs are sore.  Yep, they're in there and someday you'll get to meet them because they'll finally show through!!"  LOL !!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Today's Weight:  227.5
This week: - 2
Total loss so far:  -3.5 lbs. 

Yay!  The scale is going back down.  I only worked out two times last week, but drank my water faithfully.  Now that TOM is over I'm looking forward to more losses.  :)  

Monday, June 15, 2009

Early Morning Workout *YAWN*

Today my husband and I started our early morning workouts.  We were up by 6:45am and he left for the gym with a friend while I got dressed and popped in my 4-mile Leslie Sansone DVD. 

This is going to take some getting used to.  *yawn again*

It's not that it was so early, but that I'm not used to moving that early.  Good thing she starts with a warm-up.  Although, even with the warm up, I was ready to stop about 2 miles (or 30 minutes) into it.  No can do though.  The agreement my husband and I have is we'll stay busy for an hour each morning and then do some abs and other toning exercises each evening before bed.   

We are also planning on going to bed earlier each night to make sure we get enough rest.  So, hopefully I won't be as sleepy tomorrow at lunchtime.  *grin...and another yawn*

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Trying Not To Hide

Yesterday we were at a picnic and I took my camera along to grab some photos from the occasion that was being celebrated.  I wore what I felt cute in, but I was still the largest wife there and knew it.  I love taking pictures, but at this largest weight I've hated it knowing that I look so huge. 

As I've said before, I'm not just chubby, but the largest I've been without being pregnant.  However, I wouldn't let myself hide from the camera.  Instead I decided that these will just be more wonderful "before" pictures.   

Luv, Me and some friends

Me (short blonde hair) with some of the other wives..the two right next to me are four and five months pregnant..you can't even tell...the next two have new babies...and I'm still the largest one. 

Not for long....

What a difference a cup makes

Since I've upped my daily water intake I've been drinking a lot of water and learned that the "right" drinking container makes all the difference in the world.  

A few months ago I bought the red container at Wal-Mart.  It looked like it would be easier to carry water in the car with it because of the tapered bottom.  However, it has a wide opening and I'm always spilling water on myself when I try to grab a quick drink.

So, when I decided to up my water intake last week I pulled out a Weight Watchers water mug I had stored away from years ago.   I can down the water no problem with this cup and straw.  

I still use the red one when I'm out and about, but the WW cup is my old faithful always full of water on the counter in my kitchen and I'm finding that it's so easy to get my water drunk with this handy cup.  :)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Water Intake

A friend brought this article to my attention and I found it to make lots of sense.  

According to Weight Watchers, the highest healthy weight for my age and height is 140 pounds, so I'm about 90 pounds over that.  According to this article I should be drinking about 29 extra ounces a day of water according to the extra weight.  

So, I'm going to up my daily goal to at least the 64 oz of water, and try and shot for about 96 oz.  I'll keep you posted!! :) 

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Weigh-In ... TOM

Weight Today:  229.5
Total lost so far:  -1.5

I'm about 3 days into "that time of the month" and so while I should be happy to be down a half of a pound from last week, I'm just feeling fat in general and like I'm never going to lose the weight.  I'll be better when my hormones aren't clogging up my thinking.  

A good chat with my friend, Stephanie, yesterday encouraged me that I can do this.  

So, to stay on the positive side... I did workout four times last week and I drank at least 32 ounces of water daily.   

Here's to getting over this yucky week and getting back to "normal".  :)  

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Mind over matter (puff..wheeze..puff..)

Yesterday I decided to do one of my 4-mile walking workouts for the first time.  It was hard, but not so bad.  I worked out and was happy that I made it through seemingly unscathed.  However, that and 8 loads of laundry, plus going through every piece of clothing my kids own made for a very sore mommy before bed last night.

I felt okay this morning and when it came time to workout I decided to go ahead with a 3-mile workout.  I regretted it immediately.... OUCH!!!  

I was okay when I was just walking around the house or sitting at the computer, but as soon as I started working out I was reminded of what I did yesterday.  

Oh, the pain!!  I wanted to quit.  But I didn't.  I kept thinking, "Soon, I'm going to start doing at least 4 miles a day for 5 days a week (the summer workout thing), so I'd better get used to this."  

But I was dying.  

I felt like the obese people at the beginning of "The Biggest Loser" seasons when they are sweating and the trainers are yelling at them and they cry.  Well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I was picturing them and thanking the Lord I wasn't doing that much, because this was killing me.

I kept thinking, "It's all in your head.   You can do this."  I've heard getting your mind to focus is half the battle.  I can believe it now because I kept thinking of things to do to stop working out.  I finally stopped to use the bathroom and kept imagining Bob or Jillian yelling at me through the door to quit being a wimp and get back out there.  LOL !!!  

So, I finished the workout.  It felt a little easier by the time I was done, but I'm telling you what...I'm already going to have to psyche myself up for this more intense summer workout, because today my body just wanted to quit and this was only two hard workouts in a row.  

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

In Case You Think I'm Not Trying

I was thinking today that someone might come across my blog and think, "Who is this chick and why is she not bothered by her lack of weightloss???  She seems to do more talking about it than working at it."  

Well, I should clarify something...

My husband has put on a few pounds over the last two years and as soon as his post-session classes are done he and I are going to begin some intense working out.  He and a friend will go to the gym every morning and I will do an hour of working out here at home (I've already purchased my 4-mile and 5-mile Leslie Sansone dvds and have some "The Firm" ones he wants me to do also.)  Then in the evenings he will be doing some stretching and weights with me here at home.  

Our summer goal is to get into good, hard workout routines and stay active with our children.  

So, I started a little earlier because I was so scared of gaining any more weight, but I know that in one-and-a-half weeks we will really be getting serious about this.  I guess if you want you can check back then and see if I really started it, but I guarantee you I will have.  :)

Facing the Giant Inside Me

My husband bought the movie "Facing the Giants" and we watched it Sunday afternoon with our children.   During the movie the father of the young soccer player who tries out for the football team, the one in the wheelchair, tells his son, "Your actions will always follow your beliefs."  His son thought he'd be a loser in football and was giving up on himself without even trying.  

I was a bit floored when I realized that is so true in many aspects of life.  Of course, because of the current weightloss journey I'm on that is the area of my life that it spoke to most.  

For years I've been the fat girl who always jokes about her weight.  I've said many, many times, "I'm just saying what everyone's thinking." and then laughed right along with everyone else about it.  My mom has always told me I should quit it, but I don't.  

It's safer for me to joke about it than let someone else joke about it and hurt my feelings.  However, this action has probably in some way stopped me from ever attaining my goals...because I've already in my heart seen myself as always being the fat girl unable of total change.

Well, that needs to change.  As I heard that quote I realized that I need to change my thinking about my abilities and shortcomings, so that my actions will truly follow what I believe about myself.  

Don't get me wrong.  I don't plan on "believing" my way to weight loss.  I know that the Bible says in James 2:20 "...faith without works is dead".   But I can face the giant of fear of failure to lose weight and keep it off, give it to God and then allow my mind to think better of myself, so that as I begin to workout harder and make some smarter eating decisions I will see myself attain my goal.

Again I say, I can do this and I will do it.


Weight Today:  230.0
Total lost so far:  -1

My reaction:  "What'd you expect? [pause for thinking] Just this, though I was hoping for a maintain or gain of only 1-2 pounds.    But I know better and like the saying goes, 'You can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.'  " 

So, yes I was up this week.  Honestly, I wasn't really surprised.  I didn't drink water every day like I should, no not even just my 32 oz., and I only did two 2-mile workouts all week.  I did pretty good about only eating at mealtimes, but then I didn't always stop at satisfied, but ate a few times until I was stuffed.  

Am I bothered by it?  Again, no,  not really.  I understand that this is a change of lifestyle for me and there are some thought issues that are changing that I truly believe will lead to the physical changes.  I'll explain more later.

Also, my mother-in-law went home three days ago and so now I feel a little more comfortable working at what I was trying to do.  Not that she made me eat, but I can't always just be myself at home with her always here.  Nothing personal. 

So, here's to another week ahead.  

My goal for this week:  To get back to that water and get at least four good workouts in.