"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Monday, November 30, 2009

Progression Pics - 6 Months and 1 Year

Well, I'm down a half of a pound this past month. That's the result of the funk I was in. Since this makes a grand total of 22.5 pounds in six months it's a little upsetting. I'm just glad it's not a gain for the month. I can be content with that. I'm looking for a good loss this upcoming month.

To make myself feel a little better about my 3.75-pound-a-month weight loss average I looked up a picture of my husband and I while decorating the tree a year ago. I weighed a few pounds more than I do now, maybe five to seven, and I wasn't exercising at all; neither was he. This is a little more encouraging.

November 2008

November 2009
I think he actually looks a whole lot thinner here. Woo Hoo! :) My camera seems to be acting up and it's not too clear, but you get the idea.

Being Content

Last week while my mother was visiting we had some really good times of one-on-one talking. Some of it was even pretty deep conversation and something I really needed. One thing she mentioned that has stuck in my mind was when she said, "You just need to be content." This wasn't in regards to my weight loss, but she did include my health and weight in general.

Now, she wasn't talking about being content with being overweight and giving up on losing any more, but with being myself and not living up to the stick-thin examples of "great bodies" we see plastered in the media. She also was talking about a few other personal issues.

She is so right, both in general and in weight-related issues.

I'm always looking for the latest fix to help me lose the weight. Yes, I admit it..I do look in magazines and at those crazy ads once in a while. When I'm vexed with my current situation I just wish I could find the "magic" plan, workout tool, exercise machine or diet that would make the weight drop off easily.

But I know none of that would give me lasting results and they wouldn't deal with the deeper issues; one of which is being content. I tend to want more in many areas, and food is one of them.

So, to know what to change and how to be content I started with looking up scriptures on the subject and then the actual definition of the word. In my search I came across these definitions:
1.satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing:

To make content or satisfied: contented himself with one piece of cake.

I found it interesting that the example given for "contented" included an example with food. Somehow the dictionary knew what I was looking for.

Notice how the second definition for "content" says, "ready to accept or acquiesce; willing:" ? It's almost as if I have to be ready to accept that less food or healthier choices are enough and be content with that. I know to acquiesce is to give in without protest, but look at that through my mind...I'm not giving in to be overweight, but giving in to what I know I must do and I'm not going to protest anymore.

Along the same lines, the definition for contented says "to make content or satisfied". I have to make myself be content. It doesn't say ' the natural instinct to be content'. It says to make it happen.

Ah ha!

I need to
* stop protesting smaller portions and healthier options
* be satisfied and not want more
* make myself be content, because it won't come naturally
* be content with the food I eat and stop when I'm satisfied.

You know how Dave Ramsey teaches on living within your means financially, and being content with what you have? Well, I need to learn to eat within my means and be content with only the food my body needs as fuel to keep going.

This is not easy for me, but I know it can be done. I have decided to make it my goal daily to work on being content, because I know there is nothing to lose but the weight if I do.
1 Timothy 6:6 (NIV)

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Deborah Award

Diane so graciously awarded the Deborah award to me today on her blog. Little does she know that it was a great morale booster to me.

I'm going to buckle down and try to reach a certain goal by the end of the year and this evening I've been really stressing about what I need to change to make it happen. I know I'll probably feel much better after I get some sleep, so I'm trying not to worry too much about it.

So, Diane thank you for the award and for your friendship and support during this weightloss journey of mine.

I am not going to pass it on just now, because I need to think a little more on it. :)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Blog Change

I change the backgrounds regularly on my family's blog and I didn't want to start doing that too much here, because I wanted my weightloss blog to be associated with a certain constant look, like a dot com site might.


I couldn't resist this blog set from The Cutest Blog on the Block. I figured the red, black and white could go on and on past Christmastime, so I would go ahead and change it. We'll call it my "winter" theme. :)

Okay, my family needs the computer now, so I must stop playing and go do something else. Though as I look there is something else I'd like to add. Oh well, it will have to wait until next time.


Happy Saturday!

I couldn't resist the urge to weigh myself again this morning and am happy to report that the scale said 208.5! This is encouraging because it means the two-pound gain I showed yesterday truly was from a full day of eating and nothing else. I know you rejoice with me in this happy moment. :) In fact, I'm going to change my stats on the side bar to show the lower weight. That actually brings me back down the pound I gained last week too.

Woo Hoo!!

This morning my mom left to go back home. One of my daughters got up with me at 6:00 am to take her to the airport. We stopped for donuts on the way home, because we promised the kids donuts for a treat today. When we got home I was a little more awake, so I asked her if she'd like to go for a walk with me.
She agreed and we enjoyed some chatting and walking for 32 minutes around our neighborhood. It was about 43 degrees out, and nice and sunny.

I made her some hot cocoa when we got home and now we're going to sit and quietly watch a movie until the rest of the household wakes up. Since we were up very late last night and then very early today we might just fall back asleep on the couch. :)

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanksgiving Choices

Well, I feel the need to share with everyone how my eating went yesterday.

We had a very nice time.

I got up and got my turkey in the oven. Then I cleaned up around the house before getting dressed. We had done so much prep work on Wednesday that I really didn't have as much to do as in the past.

The meal turned out wonderful. My sister-in-law made a dish that is custom in her family and a couple that came brought a yummy pie and side dish.

I had a small spoonful of everything. I almost took a picture of my plate to share with you, but I didn't want to make everyone else feel uncomfortable. There was about 2-3 small bites of everything. It was enough to leave me just over satisfied and little enough that I knew I hadn't overdone it. I also chose to drink water with my meal instead of soda so as to not fill up on carbonation.

What a great feeling!!

I had a small piece of French Silk Pie with my coffee for dessert and that was fine also.

The only area I kind of "messed up" in was the crackers and cheese ball with the relish tray.

I LOVE green olives and ate a few too many crackers with cream cheese ball topped with olives.
They began to make me feel sick. Ugh.... but I knew I hadn't overeaten throughout the day, so I could recover from the snacks easily.

So, that's it. My honest post about how I ate. I feel I did fine.

Could I have eaten better? Yes, I could've stayed away from the hors d'oeuvres. That's what I will change for the future.

Am I proud of my other choices? Yes. My plate was by no means piled high with food and I didn't go back for seconds.

All in all, I made some good choices and I learned from other choices. I enjoyed wonderful time with our friends and family. We played games and talked a lot and it was a great day!

I hope you all had a wonderful day and enjoy some more rest and recreation during this long weekend.

Weigh-In ... Could've Been Worse

Today's Weight: 211.5
Loss/Gain: +2.0 lbs.
Total Loss So Far: -19.5 lbs

Well, I wrestled with whether to go ahead and weigh myself today or weigh myself yesterday morning. Since I forgot to weigh myself yesterday morning today won by default. :)

Am I worried about a two-pound gain the day after Thanksgiving? No.

I weighed myself on Wednesday morning and I wasn't up at all, so I know that this is all due to eat more than normal yesterday.

I know it will come off this week, so I'm not worried. Plus, I'm glad that I controlled things enough that it wasn't a five or seven pound gain.

I hope you don't think that I'm too flippant about this. If you do, oh well.

Yesterday I enjoyed the time with our family and the only regret I have regarding my food intake is that I ate too many crackers with cheese from the cheese ball. Whew! We were playing a game in the evening and I had to just make myself sit there with some water because I could still taste the cream cheese & Ranch in my mouth from so much I had eaten.

Otherwise, I did okay and I'm not upset about it. I'll post more later on how it went.

For now, it's back on track and continuing down my weightloss journey. :)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Great Thanksgiving Posts

Since my mom has been visiting all week I haven't had the time to post all the things that have gone through my head. Yet, each day Diane at Fit to the Finish has so eloquently posted things that I completely agree with and have found very insightful in regards to the Thanksgiving Holiday.

So, I decided to go ahead and post links to them for you to check out in case you don't already read her blog. I know you will find some pointers that will help you to have a successful, fun-filled Thanksgiving! You'll also see my comments on each one of them. Enjoy!


First, I want to take a minute to thank each and every one of you that has stopped by my blog and left such encouraging comments. Blogging has been one of my greatest tools in reaching success in my weightloss journey. If people weren't responding I might not find it so helpful. :)

With Thanksgiving just around the corner - literally less than 24 hours away now - I can't help but think how blessed I am.

Here are some weight-related things I am thankful for:

I am no longer feeling helpless about my weight.
I am able to do things physically that I didn't think I could before.

I have my health and energy like never before.

I have met some very nice, supportive people through blogging that give me the support and direction I need to continue on down this journey.

I have seen close friends and family become super supportive of me in my weight loss no matter how slow it goes.

While I'd love to take credit for these wonderful blessings, I can't. I must take a minute to give thanks to Jesus for His saving grace and boundless love. I truly give Him credit for helping me to overcome my emotional issues that have contributed to my weight gain issues. He is my strength and high tower and I have been able to work through many things because His word has been faithful to speak to me in times of need.

I am a blessed woman, both by family and friends and now also in my health and I give all glory to God.

I pray you too can know the love that God so freely shares and find out that blessings can be yours also, no matter what your weight or current place in life.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Hot 100 - Update #6

I'm a little behind in posting my Hot 100 update. I knew it was coming, but haven't checked blogs or anything since Thursday night I think.

Anyway, here it goes!

My Hot 100 November Goals:
Scale Goal: Reach my first scale goal of 199 by Thanksgiving. That is losing 15 pounds between now and then.
Emotional Goal: Learn how to stay on track while my mother visits the week of Thanksgiving and not feel bad about it. I tend to not want to make her feel bad with my losing weight. I've told her this and she is most encouraging, but it's still rough for me.

I must tell you that I know for sure that I will not hit 199 by Thanksgiving. I guess if I starved myself and worked out a lot I could lose 10 pounds in the next four days. :) I just don't see it happening though.

A week or so ago I was very upset when I realized I wasn't getting closer to 199. However, I've gotten out of my funk and decided that it's a goal I am still going to try and hit by the end of the year.

I have not given up and I will keep working on it.

As for the emotional goal... my mom came into town on Saturday. So far it hasn't been too hard to eat less. Plus, I'm noticing that she is eating less also. Glory! I think I will definitely make my emotional goal this month. :)

No Stress Allowed

Hello! Well, Thanksgiving week is upon us and there is so much to be done. I really love this time of year. I enjoy cooking up the Thanksgiving meal and baking some pies. I enjoy putting together some baked goods for friends and spending time with loved ones over the long holiday weekend.

I wonder how many people are nervous about this holiday centered around a HUGE meal? How many people are already nervous about putting on a couple of pounds, or not being able to eat anything because it's all too high in calories? How many people think they will lose all control this holiday and in turn they will feel like they are a failure at weight loss and give up?

I'm not. I will eat what I like. I will enjoy a little of my favorites and then I will stop. Yes, I will even have a small piece of dessert, or bites of a few different ones. I will enjoy the food, but in moderation.

I've done this before and I know it can be done.

Will I lose weight this week? Honestly, I'm not sure. I know I will be careful the rest of the week and I will try and fit in some exercise, but I'm not going to stress myself out over my weight.

In my humble opinion, Thanksgiving is too wonderful a holiday to ruin it with weight-related issues.

My body knows what it wants and it knows to tell me when it's had enough. This Thanksgiving I will listen to my body and I will stop eating when it says, "Okay, we've had enough." and I will be content with that.

How about you? Are you stressing over the amounts of food that may possibly be set before you this Thanksgiving and your ability to control yourself around it all?

Please don't be.

Do your best and don't stress. If you do put on a pound or two, please don't hate yourself. You'll have plenty more days and weeks to continue working on your weight loss.

Have a great week everyone!

Friday, November 20, 2009

"Hey Skinny!"

Yesterday at school a teacher's aid asked me if I was losing weight. I told her, "Yes, I am and thank you for noticing!"

She said it was "really noticeable" when she walked in the room and saw me. I explained that it's been a slow process, but changes are being made and I do feel better.

Of course, you know that made my day. :)

Well, today I was at the school for about an hour as Mom, instead of substitute and the same teacher's aid sees me and says, "Hey Skinny!!"

I just laughed! I know at 209.5 lbs I am NOT skinny.

She gushed again about how it's so noticeable and I look great. I giggled and thanked her again for her kind words.

Silly lady. She's definitely a friend I'll have to keep around! :)

Weigh-In ... I Don't Really Care

Today's Weight: 209.5
Loss/Gain: + 1.0 lb
Total Loss So Far: -21.5 lbs

Well, this might be a good time to say that I weigh myself a couple of times a week. Earlier in the week, about two days ago I had a weight that would've shown a decent loss for this week. I figured if I could stay around there I'd be doing good.

Then I just didn't drink hardly any water and yesterday I didn't eat weightloss portions. They weren't huge, but they weren't light either. To top it all off, I ate dinner at 8:00 pm. Not a good combination the day and night before weighing in.

So, when I say that I don't really care about this gain, it's because I know that I've been doing better. I'm back on track making better choices and I've been exercising. I just had bad timing with some "free" eating.

I know that I need to make sure to make every day count so this doesn't happen again, and I will keep working on that.

I hope you're having a great Friday!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

On The Go Energy

I've had a very busy, on-the-go week so far. Last night I was so tired I fell asleep as soon as I got into bed and it was only 10:30.

As I go about my days I keep thinking ahead to Thanksgiving next week, and even Christmas after that. I'll stick with talking about November today.

My mother comes in Saturday for a week-long visit and then my brother and his wife are coming on Wednesday to spend Thanksgiving with us. There are plans zipping through my mind as I go about my days.

What do I need to clean?
What to buy for the Thanksgiving meal?
When to bake for some friends?
Do I have to take daughter to her practice, or will husband be home in time for that?
What days am I working this week, and how can I plan accordingly?

The list could go on, and I'm sure most of you can relate. It's a busy, busy time, but I love every minute of it!

As I was cleaning up the kitchen the other evening, exhausted but determined to keep the house picked up, I realized that I'm so glad I have the energy to keep up with it all.

Miraculously I have been able to keep my house in decent order through all the activities of the past weeks. It's like I have this hidden energy that drives me.

Don't get me wrong, I look forward to relaxing a few days with my mom, but I'm just a bit amazed at how I've been able to keep going even when I'm tired.

Then it hit me...maybe, just maybe this is because not only have I lost 22 pounds, but I am exercising regularly!! You see, I only currently weigh a few pounds less than I did a year ago and even two years ago, but I am exercising regularly now.

HA! I'm seeing an added benefit to my weight loss and exercise change - More energy to keep up with a busy household!

Speaking of which... I need to go check on my soup and finish getting dinner ready. Then I'll yada, yada, etc. etc.

Boy, am I loving this! :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

One Step At A Time

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with my weightloss goals. I can't even imagine myself fit and thin, and if I'm not careful I can drown in the doubts and unbelief that I'll ever reach my goals.

I decided a few days ago that I'm going to continue taking it one step at a time. One day. One good decision. Eventually I know all the steps and good decisions will lead me to where I want to go.

For now, that's my thinking on this weightloss journey. Just so you know. :)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Taking Responsibility

I feel like I'm out of my weight loss funk. One way I know I'm back to my old self is that I'm willing to see what needs changing in my life and I'm not dreading what it will take to change.

For example, last week the thought has been marinating in my mind that it is easier to blame something or someone else for my weight issues than to take responsibility for them myself. It's much easier to say, "It runs in my family." or "I just have a slow metabolism." or "I can't run, because it will hurt my knees."

Because, you see, if I blame my genetics or physical limitations then I am no longer responsible for my actions. It's as if to say that I have no control in this area.

But what happens when I look at pictures of my family and notice that all the women were thin in their youth, or realize that when I jog a bit or push myself on the elliptical my body doesn't hurt more than normal after a workout.

Hm... The foundation for my being overweight has just crumbled.

Suddenly I am faced with the possibility that I've been making excuses for my weight instead of taking responsibility for my own choices.

Yes, the women in both sides of my family have battled getting heavier after they had children or got older, but they were all thin growing up. Yes, I've noticed that a large meal sticks with me longer than with a friend who has a faster metabolism naturally. Yes, I am very sore the next day when I workout hard.

Yet, these situations are not unconquerable.

I can decided that I am going to be more careful about how much I eat and not settle into accepting that I'll be an overweight, older woman.

I can decide that since my metabolism is slower than some I will have to eat a little less and exercise a little more to stay at a healthy weight.

I can push myself harder when exercising and realize that the pains are normal and not life threatening.

But first I must take responsibility. I must "face the music" and realize it's no one's fault but my own that put me at 231 lbs.

I pushed myself into the "obese" category after moving out on my own as an adult. I have ignored the signals my body sends telling me I'm full, or not even hungry, many times over the years. I have never exercised regularly, or ever pushed myself past a brisk walk when I did exercise.

Those were my choices. I must accept the fault as my own. Only after facing up to the truth and taking responsibility for my own actions can I begin to change.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Weigh-In ... Back On Track

Today's Weight: 208.5
Loss/Gain: -1.0 lb
Total Loss So Far: -22.5 lbs

There are many thoughts I'd like to share, but I have to get ready for work. So, I'll sum it up by saying that yesterday I felt like I was out of the funk and back to my normal self.

I have been journaling my food intake and exercise this past week and on Wednesday thought long and hard about what I've been doing differently this past month compared to the summer when I was losing more steadily. There were a few things I really hadn't noticed I'd changed, or stopped doing, but when I thought more on them it made sense.

I'll write more about it all later, but for now I send out a big "Thank you!" to you all for your support during the funk. I think it's over now. Glory!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Success Quote

The same church that had the "Triumph" quote has this one up on their marquee now:

can be success
if you learn from it"

Yes!! I claim it!!! *GRIN*

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hot 100 - Update #5

Okay, Steve said it's time for another update on the Hot 100 Challenge, so here goes.

Hot 100 Goals for November:
Scale Goal: Reach my first scale goal of 199 by Thanksgiving. That is losing 15 pounds between now and then.
Emotional Goal: Learn how to stay on track while my mother visits the week of Thanksgiving and not feel bad about it. I tend to not want to make her feel bad with my losing weight. I've told her this and she is most encouraging, but it's still rough for me.

I'm not feeling very confidant right now. I'm excited with the upped exercising I've been doing, but I haven't even been getting 4 days of exercise in ... only 3.

I'm still 10 pounds away from reaching 199 and I have about 2 weeks left to lose it, so that's a vex.

I've started journaling my food again and am going to take a serious look at what is going on and what I can do to start the scale going down again.

As for the emotional goals, I'm learning to not worry about what others think if I don't eat like them at a gathering. So, I'm not worried about how I'll eat when my mom is here. She knows I'm trying to lose weight, so she'll be gracious I know. :)

That's it for now. I hope to have some more inspiring, encouraging words at the next update.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Happy Veteran's Day

Please remember to take a minute to thank any veterans you know for their service to our country. It is their sacrifice that has helped to make this country a great place to live.

In following my advice, here's my big thank you to my very own, handsome, veteran...my husband!
My husband has served both six years of active duty and about 4-6 of reserve duty in the US Navy. He is currently in dental school on a Navy scholarship and will be returning to active duty as a dentist upon graduation.

I Choose To Win

This morning I was feeling a little like, "Why even try to lose weight?". I did my devotions and then I literally told myself out loud, "I choose to win."

I will win at losing this extra weight.

I will win over feelings of inadequacy and frustration that can sometimes come with being a mom and wondering if you're doing things right.

I choose that I will win, period.

I didn't exactly feel better right at that moment. But as I got my kids up, readied myself for the day, took my kids to school and headed off to the gym I kept telling myself, "I will win. I'm not going to let my feelings get me down."

Now as I post I am feeling much better. I will continue on doing what I know to do in all aspects of my life, because in the end I will win.

Monday, November 9, 2009


A church marquee that we pass by often had this quote up for a week or so:

Triumph is
just "umph" added to try.

I loved it!

Have a great week everyone!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Learning to Believe

Yesterday after discussing my little jog attempt and the following soreness with a teacher-friend of mine she told me I was an inspiration to her. She said, "You're an inspiration to me. You inspire me to eat healthier -- today!!"

Me? An inspiration???

This lady has been an encouragement to me about how walking and just getting that regular exercise in helped her lose weight in the past and now she's back at it.

Now she's telling me that I'm inspiring her?!?

If you've read some of my posts this week you'll know that I can hardly believe this.

But I'm learning to believe it.

Last night I had a great, long talk with my husband. (Yes, he deserves and award for listening to me talk so much!! *grin* ) I opened up about some of the fears I've shared with you this week and more that I haven't shared with you. There were things I shared with him that I've never told anyone. He was caring and understanding and offered all the love and words I needed to hear to help me break through these fears.

So, as I continue on making those better choices day by day I am also learning to believe in myself. I'm learning not only to believe in my capability to lose weight and be fit, but to believe that I am worth it and I deserve it.

Weigh-In ... It's Not Over Yet

Today's Weight: 209.5
Total Loss/Gain: 0
Total Loss So Far: -21.5 lbs.

After the emotional week I've had I'm okay with this maintain. In fact, last night I told myself, "You know, I'm exercising regularly, I feel better and I'm not quitting. If I see a gain or a maintain tomorrow I'll just keep going." I wasn't upset, nervous, stressed or anything. Just accepting what will be will be and I will keep going no matter what the scale shows.

Earlier in the week I was stressing out because I wasn't going to meet my November goal of reaching 199 lbs for the Hot 100 Challenge. I didn't want to have to reevaluate my goals, because to me that meant being a failure again. However, I've decided that if I see any loss this month I will be happy with that and I can still work on meeting the ultimate goal of losing over the holidays.

It's not over yet, folks! I will get this weight off and learning all the stuff about how I've felt inside is really something I'm glad to be experiencing, even if it may hurt sometimes.

I bought lots of fresh veggies and got out my notebook this week and started journaling my food again. I will lose this weight.

Have a great Friday everyone! I'm off to substitute in PE today. Whee!!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Overcoming and a Jog

After yesterday's post I did take a some time to take these fear issues to God in prayer. It was a good time of soul searching and breakthrough. I have been very surprised at the emotional issues I carry in me that I never thought were there.

I have had a blessed life, being raised in a two-parent christian home, marrying a wonderful young man who continues to grow into a man of God, always supporting me and being there no matter what, my children are healthy and right where they should be for their ages, and yet I find myself seeing struggles deep inside that I just pushed away I guess.

I'm not real sure about it all.

One thing I know is that I am going to overcome this fear of failure. That is one issue I know I've struggled with all growing up, except it was always in the form of fear of rejection from others. My parents loved me for who I was, chubby, but I always battle comparing myself to others.

Anyway, I didn't want this post to go on and on. I just wanted you all to know that I am pressing through and not giving in to fear of failure.

In fact, today the gym was closed so I couldn't do my elliptical workout. Having not been able to go on Tuesday I was a little upset with that. I decided to go to the park and walk on a walking trail. It's a one-mile lap and is lit all the way around. I ended up doing a walk-jog for 2 miles and then a 1/2 mile brisk walk and cool down.

In the past when our kids went with us to the park the girls would jog with me from one light pole to the next, probably only a couple 15-20 feet or so (no idea..) then we'd walk a bit. We'd do this a few times and then just walk the rest.

Well, today I made myself jog the distance between three light poles instead of two and then I'd walk the same distance at a brisk pace. I did these intervals for 2 miles. About 1.5 miles through I started to cry for a few seconds, but I kept going. The tears didn't last long and I finished strong.

It's amazing how a very brisk walk seems so much easier after trying to jog. :)

Anyway, now you know I'm feeling a bit better. Again, I really do thank all of you that are so supportive of me and my weight loss journey. I appreciate it very much!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

This Could Have Been Me Talking

I watched week 7 of The Biggest Loser today and this conversation between Jillian and Amanda hit me hard. It could easily have been me and Jillian talking. The portions in red are exactly how I feel at times and something I'm going to deal with in my life. Wow.

In case you don't watch TBL the scenario was this: Amanda was on the treadmill, they have stepped off for a break, but she then isn't ready to get back on the treadmill just yet. She's tired, stressed and says she just can't. The conversation goes like this:

Jillian: "Why are you so attached to being a failure?"

Amanda: "Because I'm so used to being the fat girl, Jillian! I'm so used to not knowing how to do this!

Jillian: "Well, why don't you change your mind today? You want to fail. You don't want to succeed."

Amanda: "That's not true."

Jillian: "Yes, it is. What are you getting out of it?"

Amanda: "I don't know...you look at me and I know you see potential and you push me so hard, but I don't think I'm ready to be pushed so hard...I know I can't do it and I don't want to fail."

Jillian: "You're wrong. You can do it."

Amanda: "No, I can't Jillian! I can't do it with the cameras on me... in my face... "

Jillian: (interrupting) "Yes, you can. You are not failing here. You quit. There's a difference between quitting and failing!"

Amanda: "The thing is, I know I can't get to a minute [doing this certain treadmill exercise], so I'm like 'Why even try? I know I can't do it.' "

Jillian: "You are wrong. You know what, Amanda, it's going to require some courage. It's going to require a little bit of bravery. It doesn't mean that you're going to be fearless..."

Amanda: (interrupting) "Stepping on this treadmill is bravery!"

Jillian: "Well, then step on the treadmill and make it count. ..... if you don't bring an intention to these actions, then they are nothing but a punishment. You make it happen. You don't wait for life to happen you make it happen."

Amanda: "I'm telling you, Jillian, I can't right now."

Jillian: "Yes, you can."

I don't really have anything else to add, except now you know another little piece of my struggle with weight. I'm going to take into consideration some of the things Jillian told her and, as always, I won't quit.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Controlling the Candy

So, the past couple of days I've noticed a theme amongst us in weight loss blogland... CANDY.

Candy has been the topic at hand.

I know it's because of Halloween and I know that I've even blogged about it already. What I find interesting is the different ways people have handled this holiday.

Some binged the night of Halloween and regretted it later, some didn't binge that exact evening but have since eaten a few too many pieces and others have been able to stay away from the candy or eat it in small, manageable portions.

I fell in the middle group. I enjoyed a few treats Halloween night, but I didn't binge and let myself go. However, since then I've had a few pieces every day.

Well, I feel that a few snack-sized candies every day is a few too many for me to continue down the scale in my weight loss journey. So, today I decided "No more." and I haven't had a piece of candy all day.

Lori (a weightloss success story by the way) commented on my post from yesterday that maybe I should get rid of all the candy in my house. I personally don't want to get rid of all my kids' candy when they aren't battling weight issues. They are allowed 1-2 pieces a day and it's stored in the pantry in bags labeled with their names. This works well for us, so I'm going to leave it that way. The kids shared a few pieces with me, I enjoyed them, but now on to getting this weight off.

In working towards losing more weight I will control the candy instead of letting it control me. It may be in my house, but that doesn't mean it has to be in my mouth.

Monday, November 2, 2009

No Cookie - Yes Candy

So today after school someone was handing out chocolate chip cookies and I declined one. Another teacher said, "Oh are you giving them up?" I just laughed. Whee!

But ........

...... then when I got home I ate two snack packs of candies - one peanut M&Ms and one Reese's PB Candies. Oh, goodness, as I'm writing I'm remembering I also ate one PB Cup after dinner.


Well, I decided that Halloween and PMS munchies aren't a good mix.

Oh well....honestly I was so hungry when I got home that is why I had those two candy packs. I was busy cleaning and didn't want to stop for some fruit. We didn't eat dinner until another hour or so. I hadn't eaten very much all day, so that is why I was so hungry.

As Anne of Green Gables said, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet."

Sunday, November 1, 2009


It didn't occur to me until the end of the night that here I am working on weight loss and I dressed up as a chef for Halloween! LOL!!! I just cracked myself up!!!

Maybe it's good because it means I have finally taken over my food...I don't know, but I giggled right out loud because it seems ironic I'd dress up as a food-related person during this time of my life.

On Halloween, we had a party at our church renamed "Hallelujah Party" with a talent show and food fellowship. I did pretty good with the food - a small serving of lasagna, small serving of enchiladas, apples and grapes. Then I did allow myself some sweets. I won't go into how much, but it was more than one piece.

I enjoyed it and was proud of myself that I was the only one that didn't pile my plate high with food, plus get a bowl of food on the side. I enjoyed my un-full plate and few desserts, but that was it. Yay!

I have eaten a few too many candies, but the weekend is over and so is my candy munching. I enjoyed a few favorites and now I'm done.