"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Friday, April 29, 2011

Weigh-In ... Can I Get A Woot? (50 gone forever...)

Today's Weight: 179 . 0
Loss/Gain: - 2 . 5 lbs.
Total Loss So Far: - 52 . 0

Okay I wasn't going to get too excited about seeing 179 on the scale, but when I was typing the title for this post I couldn't help it!! *giggle*

Funny thing about this week is I have been so busy that I decided to not stress about getting exercise in. It's been a productive week, so it's not time wasted, but I knew that I would have to be careful with my eating if I wanted to see a loss.

So I tried to do better and I've been drinking lots of water. Apparently, it worked. :)


So, it's always a little nerve wracking to get really excited about hitting another decade in weight when you're at the --9 weight, but it is a wonderful thing to see. I was really hoping to get back to my 50 pounds lost and I did.


Have a nice weekend everyone. Here's to trying not to sabotage myself over the weekend. :)

Thursday, April 28, 2011

More Accountability

A dear friend of mine informed me last night that she has started Weight Watchers. I've only known her for four years, but it feels like a lifetime. She has seen me at my highest and watched me slowly lose almost 50 pounds these last almost two years. She knows my struggles with food and had asked me a long time ago to be praying for her because she knew she needed to do something about her weight.

I'm so happy for her taking this big step to attempt weight loss again.

However, another thought crosses my mind...she is a very determined woman. She is one who accomplishes anything she puts her mind to. So....

...this means I'll have to be on top of my game - both to support and encourage her and because she'll show me that I really have no real excuses for not continuing to lose weight.

She's a dear and has never said anything about my food choices in the past, but now we might kind of being working together on this. Maybe. Sort of. In my own comparing-myself-to-others way.

Anyway, I'm finding it another way for me to be accountable...to a friend who will be joining me in the battle.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The OK Plateau

While listening to talk radio this morning I heard a snippet of an interview with Josh Foer author of Moonwalking With Einstein. He stated a bit of his thoughts on hitting the "OK plateau" with regards to abilities.

Instead of transcribing it to share with you all I found the following on his website and it's pretty much what he said in his interview. Of course, it had me thinking in terms of weight loss (along with life in general) so I thought I'd share it with you today.

Taken from JoshFoer.com:

Can you explain the “OK Plateau”?

The OK Plateau is that place we all get to where we just stop getting better at something. Take typing, for example. You might type and type and type all day long, but once you reach a certain level, you just never get appreciably faster at it. That’s because it’s become automatic. You’ve moved it to the back of your mind’s filing cabinet. If you want to become a faster typer, it’s possible, of course. But you’ve got to bring the task back under your conscious control. You’ve got to push yourself past where you’re comfortable. You have to watch yourself fail and learn from your mistakes. That’s the way to get better at anything. And it’s how I improved my memory.

I've nothing to add as Lord knows I need to focus on what needs to happen to continue losing weight. There's that word again...focus.

I'd love to hear your comments on the subject. :)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Holidays Are Still Hard

To Anyone Who Has Ever Lost Weight and Lived To Tell About It:

Have you ever wanted to whine about what horrible choices you made during a holiday or food gathering and then realized that it's the same story at every holiday? And...people are probably sick of reading that kind of stuff?

I had a nice long post on here about how I overindulged yesterday at a church potluck, yada, yada. Then I realized I sounded like a whiner and I need to quit that.

So, instead of going back into it, I'm just on here to say that I'm still learning.

For the sake of trying to encourage others, I am sorry that I'm not at my goal weight already and setting a good example for you who are struggling with weight issues. I wish I were being the best weight loss example ever (like Diane or Lori).

But I will keep working on it. I will get to a healthy weight eventually, and then will I continue practicing this maintenance that I seemed to have been so good at this last month.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Weigh-In ... Power to Overcome

Today's Weight: 181 . 5
Loss/Gain: - 1 . 5 lbs.
Total Loss So Far: -49 . 5 lbs

More than the miracle that I've finally seen a loss for the first time in almost a month is that TOM arrived yesterday. So, I saw a loss AND it was during PMS... funny. :)

Speaking of funny... yesterday I was in Sam's Club and the cashiers were discussing one of them needing her break to "do her thing". Being the outgoing sort I am, we were also chatting a bit and the one who needed the break says, in response to the "do her thing" comment, "I'm embarrassed to say it, but I smoke." To which I responded, "I eat. We all have our issues." We all laughed a bit chatted a little more.

As I finished paying I walked a little closer to the smoker and shared this, "I've lost 50 pounds and it's taken me almost two years." She ooh'd and wow'd, but I continued, "It's been the hardest thing for me and has really showed me that we all have struggles. It's given me a new respect for those trying to break a habit like smoking."

She nodded and, unfortunately, I saw a customer coming so I had to cut it short and leave her with, "Yes, sometimes it takes nothing short of a miracle."

And a miracle is exactly what I want to leave you with today.

It's Good Friday and the day we can remember the miracle of Jesus Christ's willingness to give himself to pay the price for our sins, yes even the sin of gluttony. Yet, he didn't just die, but he rose again.

Matthew 28:6 says, "He is not here, he is risen, just as he said.."

Jesus' death and resurrection not only paid the price for all of our sins, but it gave us the power to overcome anything life throws at us.

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Cor. 15:57

This, my blogland friends, includes the power to overcome an addiction to food, or cigarettes or whatever struggle you find hard to break in your life. You don't have to do it alone. Jesus is the answer for whatever need you have, and I can tell you in the many years I've spent living for Him he has never let me down.

I pray you all have a blessed Easter weekend. If you do not know Christ personally I also pray that over this weekend you'll consider the truth behind what I say. God is faithful and he will hear anyone who cries out to him.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Start Now

I found this amidst the magnets on my fridge last week when I cleaned it. So true.... (please excuse the quick scanning job that didn't crop to the fortune. )

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Productive Day

Today was laundry day. I didn't get any done yesterday, so that meant it was all going to be done today. Well, usually I do a DVD at home on laundry day, so I can get the clothes started washing early and keep things going while not losing time on the commute to the gym.

Problem today was that I did a DVD yesterday and knew I really needed to get a gym workout in because I was scheduled to work Thursday and Friday.

I didn't really feel like going, and wanted my laundry day excuse, but it wasn't working. So, I put a load of laundry in and headed out early (for me) to the gym. I remembered my husband saying the laundry would get done, so I decided to make it work.

And I was glad I did when I finished 30 minutes of walk/jogging on treadmill and 30 minutes hard on the bike. Whew...S.W.E.A.T.Y. :)

So, the last load is almost done drying, everything else is folded and I even found time to work on digital scrapbooked end-of-year gifts for teachers this afternoon.

It's been a very busy, but productive day and I will sleep well tonight because of it. :)

p.s. Food ... not so great in the evening, but still working on that and I am tracking. G'nite!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Never Going Back to Okay

It's been rough getting back on track with my weight loss, but today I...
  • exercised for 45 minutes and had the sweat to prove it.
  • Drank some water (didn't quite hit 64 oz, but got close.)
  • Tracked most of my food, not all because of below...
  • Ate until satisfied at a birthday party this evening, even though I desperately wanted to go back for more. I didn't allow myself, because I knew I'd had enough and I felt better for it. I wasn't stuffed at all when we left to come home.

Also, I want to share a song that one of my daughters bought for her iPod. The beauty of iTunes is that I was able to put this on my iPod as well and now I love to run to it.

It reminds me that no matter how frustrating or hard this journey gets I'm never going back to okay, never going back to easy. This is my new ending, not my same-old-weight-loss-failure story.


Friday, April 15, 2011

Weigh-In ... Holding

Today's Weight: 183 . 0
Loss/Gain: 0
Total Loss So Far: 48 . 0 lbs

All I can say is I'm glad I didn't gain. My post written last night explains more of where I'm at right now.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

What's It Gonna Take?

Today we had an issue with one of our children that required some discipline and a talking to. During the course of my husband talking to the child I overhear him say, "What's it going to take for you to learn?"

My mind instantly responded with, "Yea, Leah, what's it going to take for you to learn? This is [child]'s issue that needs dealing with, but you have an issue as well. When are you going to gain control over this area and get the weight off?"

I know two other people personally who have put off taking care of their weight at all, even though they knew that they needed to do something. One finally is trying to take care of things due to a major wake-up call by the doctor.

Now I truly believe we need to learn to love ourselves as we are, and we don't necessarily need to beat ourselves up over slow weight loss. But what is it going to take for us me to realize that I'm still overweight and unhealthy?

Yes, I'm around 50 pounds down, but 183 isn't near a healthy weight for a 5' 4" woman. In fact, I read an article today in Shape magazine wherein the testimonial of this woman stated how she hit her highest weight of 183 (at 5' 5") and was disgusted with how big she had become.

Her 'ah-ha' moment came when she hit the weight I'm glad to have reached.

Again, I know that I am happy to be where I am. I feel better than I have in years, but the truth of the matter is that I am not done and I have habits that need breaking - daily, even hourly - if I am ever going to reach my healthy goal weight.

While this may all sound very vexing I have to tell you it's more like a reality check for me. I'm having a rough time getting back on track, but I know I'm capable. I've had great days and weeks where it wasn't as hard, and I've even fasted for three days straight in the past, so I know I can do this.

What I have to ask myself is what's it gonna take for me to realize that I'm not healthy yet and have a lot of work to do?
Reading that article where her highest weight was me now?
A doctor to remind me that at 183 I'm still considered "obese"?
Feeling guilty while correcting a child to reign in a bad habit while I hide my overeating?

This is the question that plagues me right now and one I need to work on answering. Honestly, if I lost five pounds a month I'd be content, but right now I'm not even doing that.

Thanks for listening.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Step Away From Snacking

Snacking lately has been a problem for me, and so I'm not bouncing back into my new normal as well as I would've liked. sheesh.

I know what needs to happen and I'm happy to say that I'm tracking food good again. Food tracking is showing me just how much I snack. ouch.

So, that's where I'm at on this lovely, sunny Wednesday.

On a happy note...I bought two t-shirts at Kohls today that are size L ... Large. The extra larges are just too big to justify buying them new now. I still wear some of my old ones, but they are nice and loose. Yay! It's a great feeling, and actually helped me feel more like getting on track to get this weight going back down.

Now I need to remind myself of two things when I want to snack:
  1. How yucky I felt after eating too much.
  2. How wonderful it felt to buy a smaller size.
Until next time...

Monday, April 11, 2011

Back to Routine

My friend left last night. She got in pretty late and today I told her I felt bad that she didn't have time to rest before getting back to work this morning. She replied that she didn't mind as she was glad to get back into the routine.

I totally understand that feeling, and it's exactly how I feel today as I return to my regular weight-loss routines of tracking my food, not eating out as much and getting exercise in.

We enjoyed our week immensely, but I did find that my body was getting a little, how do I say it, sick of restaurant foods? It's the weirdest feeling, but I think I was so ready to eat lighter foods at home.

I love to cook/eat, and did cook plenty during the week, but I also took her to probably at least four local restaurants for lunches and oh maybe three that she loves and doesn't have where she lives. We enjoyed the food and conversation and I managed to maintain for the week, but my body is ready to get back to my new normal.

So today I've already been to the gym for a good, sweaty hour-long workout. I've had my light lunch and will be going to track my foods for the day when I'm done posting.

Have a great week everyone!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Weigh-In ... Visiting Friend

Today's Weight: 183 . 0
Loss/Gain: +/- 0
Total Weight Loss So Far: -48 . 0

I am satisfied with this maintain. One of my best friends from out of town has been visiting all week and I knew if I maintained I would be happy. We've been taking her to some local places to eat and try some things more native to Oklahoma, like amazing bar-b-q, and a wonderful local custard place. Of course, having company also means the schedule is a bit different from normal (read: workouts are different)

However, she is trying to get motivated to lose weight, so we've actually made time for exercise a few times this week. And while we've spent plenty of time sitting and chatting over coffee, we've also stayed really busy with activities and not simply sat around all day.

While I didn't lose weight with her here I did find myself making some decisions with regards to food that made me realize I have changed. I've enjoyed some treats, but I didn't throw the week. My prayer is that she noticed some of those changes and it will show her that she too can lose weight.

Meanwhile, we are just under two months from graduation, so I know that I will be back to getting things in serious weight-loss mode. Remember my original goal was to have lost enough weight to be able to buy a dress for my husband's graduation in the regular sizes section of a store. Well, I've been looking around and there are some really cute dresses out there that I look forward to trying on soon. :)

Thanks for checking in and have a great Friday!!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Not Grounded Enough?

Okay, so last night I found myself in a situation that is not new to me lately. It's one of the worst struggles that I rarely seem to overcome.

We were coming home from church and my friend who is visiting wanted a Coke. So, I mentioned maybe we could stop by McDonald's. I knew my kids and husband would like something to eat, so it wasn't a big deal. I wasn't hungry, so I figured on not getting anything for myself.

Even as we drove home I was thinking about how I wasn't hungry and really didn't need anything. A snack wrap didn't even sound good....because I wasn't hungry.

However, when I went to order I ordered myself a McDouble and a Diet Coke.

The struggle in my mind instantly was "It's like vacation..and I'll get back on track next week."

To make a long story short, I ate my sandwich at home along with some of my daughter's french fries. I wasn't stuffed because I'd eaten a very light dinner, but I felt awful.

This morning in my bible reading I came across the scripture that goes like this:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15

It's exactly a struggle I've had before that I haven't been able to break completely through yet. I know I'm not hungry, I don't want to eat, but I find myself doing it out of old habits. It's so very frustrating and something I know I need to gain victory over.

I almost wanted to cry with frustration last night, but I realized that tears weren't going to change anything. I did decide that I would continue to be careful through the rest of the week and not throw it all just because of one bad decision.

As I finished with my bible reading today and was praying and pondering how to gain victory over this frustrating habit of mine I also finished up with reading the following:
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37

I always come on here and say that I won't give up, and I mean it every time. This is a life long, life changing journey - frustrations and all. With God's help and some determination and hard work on my part I will overcome this old habit of mine. I will conquer.

Thanks for listening!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Being Well Grounded

If you have a minute today I'd like to send you over to Diane's blog at Fit to the Finish to read what she has to say about being well grounded in your healthiness journey and life. You can read it by clicking here.

I know for a fact that not being truly grounded in the new food choices or exercise routines I tried many times before is exactly why I didn't reach a goal weight, or didn't keep off the little weight I'd lose each time.

And while my journey is a slower one, I also know that getting my new exercise habits and healthier food habits cemented in my life now is why I continue to lose weight. It's also why the weight I've lost so far has stayed off.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

5 . 0 Girl

Monday I ran for the third time in the past week. It was easier than last week, but still hard. Getting started was rough, rougher than I remembered it being before this past week. I told myself that I could maybe walk after I reached a mile (12:00 mins), but then I told myself, "No, shoot for the entire two miles before you walk. You can walk after you've ran for two miles."

So, I committed to that. I wouldn't walk until I hit 2.0 miles.

It was still rough at times, and finally I had to remind myself, "Leah, you were getting to the point that running 2 miles at a 12:00 minute pace was doable, and almost enjoyable. In fact, you were starting to add one-minute intervals at 5.2 mph. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE A 5.0 mph GIRL NOW."

Yes, when I wanted to slow down my pace I had to remember that I'm not a 4.2 mph girl or a 4.8 mph girl, I am a 5 . 0 mph (12:00 min mile) girl now, and I can do this for two straight miles.

And I did.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Weigh-In ... Dang It, but I Won't Give Up

Today's Weight: 183 . 0
Loss/Gain: +1 . 5
Total Loss So Far: - 48 . 0 pounds

I knew this wasn't a good week, and I wasn't expecting a loss, but still the thought that went through my head when I saw the scale was, "Dang it!" I'm a tad frustrated, but more like...well, I can't explain it. I'm not "I can't do this!" blah, blah. Just...dang it!

Plus, whether I like it or not I have to admit that I am also still very much in need of certain things in my weight loss journey, namely tracking my food.

Last night we watched this week's episode of The Biggest Loser and when two of the contestants chose not to use their trainer for the week I thought it was no big deal. When they didn't do as well at the weigh-in and linked it directly to that choice of working out on their own I still wasn't convinced it was due solely to the trainer not being with them all week.

Then I thought about my last two weeks. When I'm PMS'y I get that I-don't-care attitude, but I usually still track for the most part. Also, I may not track that larger meal I allow each week, but I still keep up with everything else. These last two weeks I didn't do that.

I haven't tracked my food in almost two weeks, and whether I like it or not I apparently need to do that to help me stay focused on what's going in my mouth. Apparently, I'm still not at a point where I am honoring the hunger signals my body gives me. Honestly, I hate to admit that, but it's the truth.

So, I am admitting my need to track my calories and committing to tracking food again. As I said yesterday, it's all about priorities and what will help me be successful. I will be successful in my weight loss journey. I will focus on my priorities. I will never give up.

Thanks for checking in and have a great weekend!