"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Busy Week and a Sore Throat

Last week was a crazy busy, but super fun week.  We had a Bible conference at our church that I helped with and two ladies came to stay with us from Wednesday on.  This made for late nights chatting and then my kids having regular school schedules during the days.

Saturday we slept in and were a tad lazy.  I planned on resting more Sunday afternoon until I got a text Saturday evening that my son had a soccer game Sunday afternoon.   Soccer games between church services makes for busy days.

So, it was another busy day Sunday and then Monday morning I woke up with the worst sore throat.  My head had been feeling a bit fuzzy, but nothing bad until then.


I went back to sleep for about two hours after taking the kids to school.  When I lie on the couch and fall asleep for two hours I know my body needed it.

This week is another busy week for us, though not as much as last week, so I really don't have time to be sick.  However, after having to stay up late last night with a teen who had a lot of homework I laid back down again this morning after taking them to school and got an extra hour's rest.

Like a good girl I've gargled with salt water and am drinking fluids.  I'm trying not to eat too much ice cream, though it sure feels good going down.  lol

I haven't exercised in over a week and now with this sore throat I'm not sure if I should or if I feel like it.  I am finishing up some painting and getting things ready for another bit of company next week and helping watch some kids a few evenings at the end of this week, so I also want to make sure I get my rest.

I know I'm not the first to be busy, but it's amazing how a sore throat and fuzzy head can send a person off track.  dang.  If it doesn't start feeling better I'm going to check for strep for the sake of the kiddos coming over.

As for the healthiness side of things...I have been weighing myself and pretty much maintained my weight through last week.  That means I was up like maybe a pound.  Now if I can get my body to heal up so I feel like doing more than sleeping with some of my free time I'll be good.

That's why this is a lifelong journey, not a sprint.  Life comes and goes and if we can maintain some semblance of health through it then we're good, right?  Right.  :)

Thanks for checking in!

Monday, October 21, 2013

Successful First Week

So....I didn't post my weight last Friday, but I did weigh myself and I had a successful first week of "maintenance".  My weight was pretty much the same, and not up.  :)  

Here's a couple fun things that happened over the week: 

  • I passed on some clothes to a friend of mine telling her that some were given to me and just weren't my style.  I said, "Since I figured we're about the same I thought you'd like them."  She rolled her eyes and said something like, "oh please..." as in ' we're not the same size, you little thing" .   I realized I am a size smaller than her now, which was not always the case.  
  • While out running the other day I passed a neighbor walking and she told me I was doing great.  I responded, "It's a miracle!"  lol  It was.  I ended up having my fastest 3 mile run completing 3.5 miles in about 36 minutes - a 10:38 pace.  Woot!
  • One of my daughters informed me that she think she might want to take up running instead of playing basketball next year.  I had mentioned to my family about all of us doing a 5K in the spring and she later said she was even thinking about seeing if she could do the 10K instead.  *sniff*  I was so proud to hear my daughter want to push herself a little bit in the physical fitness area of her life and especially to know it was because I encouraged her to do so, not just her dad.  :)
We're entering a very busy week of a Bible conference at our church, so I may or not be around.  It looks like our weather might actually be turning to fall, for real, so I hope to enjoy some cool, brisk days visiting with friends and helping out at my church.  

Until next time... Have a good day!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Not Letting Past Failures Stop You

This morning I came across this post by Diane at Fit to the Finish and thought I'd share it with you: 

Without going into much detail she hits on not letting past diet or weight loss failures stop you from trying once more.  That's right up my alley because I'd never known permanent success with weight loss in the past, so when I knew I needed to stop the gaining once and for all I couldn't bring myself to start another diet.   

Here's my comment on the post:  

Having tried dieting so many times in the past I was scared to go on a diet this last attempt at weight loss.  In fact, I refused to sign up for one; I simply decided to change one bad habit and add in one good habit.  For me, the fear of failure stopped me from going on another diet when I knew I had to stop the weight gain, but it also prompted me to begin making those small lifestyle changes that have lead me to where I am today ... 70 lbs lighter.  

I think when we come to the point where we admit what we've been doing isn't the best for our health and has to change then we can begin any diet or eating plan and see true success. 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Beirut 10K 2013

This past Saturday I ran the Beirut Memorial 10K on a base on the edge of town.  This is my second time doing it and I enjoyed it as much this year as I did last year.  My goal was to run it at about an 11:00 mile pace and I told my husband, "In 1 hour 6 minutes".  Well, I actually both met and exceeded my goal.  

I ran the 10K in seconds under 1 hour 6 minutes.  Because 10K is 6.2 miles and not just 6 miles I actually ran faster than my goal -- 66 minutes would've been a perfect 11:00 pace for 6 miles, but 66 minutes averaged to about a 10:38 pace for 6.2 miles.  Woot!!

It was very cloudy and a bit humid, but cool.  The run goes through both a wooded path and asphalt streets on this small base.  I just love the wooded part of the run and told a couple runners at the end of the race the wooded parts make me feel like I'm a trail runner.  We were running around huge puddles from all the rain we've had here and the ladies agreed with me.  :)

I almost ran without my Garmin (GPS watch), but then I decided to keep it....just in case I started to slow up too much.  However, I headed out at a good pace and allowed myself to run a bit "fast" and not worry about having to save energy for the end.  I figured I'd hold back just enough to see if naturally I could settle in a quick, but steady pace to make my goal time.  I could tell that I was pushing a little more than the pace I ran the 1/2 marathon at and it felt good.  

There were a handful of us who had run the 1/2 marathon and one lady was really struggling at the end.  I told her, "We got this!! It's only 1/2 of the 1/2 marathon.  No biggie!!"  We smiled and she did end up finishing a minute or two ahead of me. 

This was my last race for this year and I had a great time.  It was nice to feel strong and to be able to say that running 6.2 miles wasn't hard at all.  :)  

Oh, but my one "bad" thing that happened...kind of funny actually... I had to go "#2" before I left my house, but decided I'd wait and go at the race so I could empty my intestines in one try.  Um, yea...but then I couldn't go -- I felt rushed.  So, I ended up at the start and had to go to the bathroom.  I told myself I could hold it for an hour, and thankfully I didn't have to go so bad that I had to stop.  I was able to hold it, but once in a while I was reminded that I needed to use the restroom.  lol  It made me laugh, because it's things like that that you read about in Runner's World magazine and so when it happens I am almost proud of it it.  Like, "Yes! I'm a real runner with a real runner problem!!"  *giggle*

I told myself if that was the worst thing that happened then I was doing great.  It was and I did great!  :)

Friday, October 11, 2013

A Change in Mindset

I just posted my weekly weigh-in post and announced that I'm switching my weigh-ins from weekly to monthly.  As I typed away in my post I realized something I said without even thinking about it.  I stated, "I'm tired of not feeling good enough in my weight loss journey."  The Bible says "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" and I guess my heart was speaking through my fingers in that one line, because that's pretty much how I've been feeling sometimes.  

The truth is I'm actually pretty pleased with where I'm at right now.  I'll feel fat when I look at the tummy roll around my middle, but then when I return from a run and see my reflection in my partial-glass screen door I feel amazing.  At the risk of sounding vain, I've had to buy some new church clothes lately and when I see myself in some of the outfits, like the one below, I'm very proud of how far I've come and how I look now.  (I confess I felt weird standing in this pose, but found out there's a reason people stand like this in their "after" photos...it's the most flattering.  lol)

Yes, I'm still 5' 4" and 160 isn't a "healthy" weight for my age and height, but... let me share some things I've been thinking about, noticing, etc. this last year.

  • I've watched people lose weight, get to that "perfect" goal weight number and then gain back 10-20 pounds.  If I did that, I'd end up right where I'm at now. 
  • Over the summer I listened to some podcasts where plenty of people said they reached a weight that wasn't their original goal weight, but they realized they felt better and looked better and were at a weight they felt they could maintain, so they stayed there.
  • I've maintained a 70-pound weight loss for about a year now and I've continued to push myself physically and stay fit.  
  • I've never been a fit and healthy person.  Truly, only once in my adult life was I walking daily and was able to get down to 170, and that only lasted for about a year. 
  • I am 37 years old and can promise you I have a slow metabolism.  I've always said and I think at my age people should believe me when I say exercise is a must if I want to eat more than 1200 calories a day and stay thin and that I can eat a large meal and not be hungry for hours...unless I just ran for a couple hours.  That's simply how my body works. 
  • I like to eat.  I've trimmed up a lot of how I eat, portions and types of foods, but I still like my treats and I've had a hard time cutting back what is necessary to lose more weight quickly.
Sum up those few facts above and I find myself wanting to decide to start saying I'm in "maintenance" now.  

However, I do feel that losing another ten pounds would be better for me.  Shoot, if I could discipline myself to actually reach 140-145 that would be great, and I know it's totally doable, but I'm just not sure I feel like eating or exercising at the level that would make it easy for me to maintain that weight. 

Easy...yes, I know that's part of the problem.  I have fought tooth and nail to get this weight off, not fought in the way of eating the best and working out for hours on end, but fought with my own self over how much and what I eat.  I've had to break some bad addictive habits.  I've had to come to grips with the fact that I need to change, and I have changed. 

But I'm kind of getting tired of always feeling bad about my lack of success with weight loss just because I don't eat as "good" as some people who are thinner than me.  Oh yes, sadly I do feel like a failure at times because I'm still not at 140, even though I've actually lost a lot of weight and kept it off for almost a year now.  I tell myself it's okay because this is MY journey, but that comparing demon still shoots darts my way trying to cause me pain even when I've had great success this far.

So, I've decided to change the way I'm thinking about things now.  It may be a temporary change, but I want to see if this mental change maybe helps me.  I'm going to allow myself to switch my mind from "diet" mode to "maintain" mode, while continuing to track my food, striving for a calorie deficit and working towards a downward trend on the scale.  

I may have weeks I do great and the scale drops a lot and I may have weeks I maintain, but I'm going to work at reaching 150 minus the pressure that if I don't reach it by ______ then I'm a failure.  

I can imagine some of you going, "FINALLY!!" and some of you are afraid I'll stop losing, or even start gaining.  For those that see me embracing the victory that is 70 pounds loss and staying physically fit (ahem, Lori..my friend. ;-)  ) thank you for always believing in me and encouraging me. 

For those that are afraid I'll gain the weight back.  Don't.  

I have no intentions of ever going back up the scale.  The food addiction chains have been broken in my life and I don't plan on ever putting on those shackles again.  I'm just stepping out from under the pressure to be on a "diet" and allowing myself to continue doing what I'm doing and enjoy my new healthier self.    Yes, I said I'm going to enjoy my new healthier self instead of feeling like I'm living in the shadow of that elusive "goal weight" which seems to be the only thing I've associated with "success" in weight loss.

I have to say I've been kind of stressing about this decision lately and knowing I'm allowing myself to maintain while aiming towards a downward trend on the scale is more freeing than I can say.  The silly thing is that's pretty much how I've lived and lost this weight, but somehow it feels different to actually make a definitive switch in thinking and put it out there for all the world to see.

If you've read this far...thank you.  I blog for myself and in the hopes that someone who can relate to my struggles will find some consolation and hope for themselves through my story; but knowing I have a small section of the world cheering me on in this journey is an added benefit.  As a writer and chatty lady this blog has been one of my biggest sources of help in this journey and I appreciate every one of you that takes the time to check in on me.  

Have a great weekend!  I plan to.  :)

Weigh-In ... Last One For A Bit

Today's Weight:  160.5
Loss/Gain:  +/- 0

With TOM showing up this week I am pleased with a maintain in my weight.  Again my goal for this week is to try and make it through the weekend without being up on the scale.  

Speaking of the scale...I'm going to try something new.  

I'm going to try only posting my weight on the first Friday of every month.  I will still weigh myself at least once a week (unless I can accept my friend's challenge to stick to my Body Media calorie limits and then weight at the end of each month and see how I did...scary.).  

In an effort to keep this weekly post shorter I'm going to leave you with the fact that I simply want to keep working on my weight loss, but not feel the stress of having to show a lower number every week. I have no problem being honest on here, but I almost feel bad when I'm not down every week.  

And I'm done feeling like I'm not good enough in my weight loss journey.  So now that I'm getting closer to my weight loss goal I am going to only post my weight once a month.  No worries...I'm still working towards a downward trend, so I plan on seeing something below 160 by November.  :)

Thanks for checking in!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Daily Thoughts

Lately (as in the past few months) I've been pretty busy and seem to only get on here to blog once or twice a week.  I've also not had much time for reading blogs.  I've said before that I often think of things to blog about, but I just never seem to have the time to sit and get it done.  There are some factors that have made my life busier than normal these past months, namely extra life duties I've had to take on.  Add that to a desire to write well and I don't "have" time to blog very often.  

So, I've been thinking about it and I think I'm going to simply try and write about things that come to mind, even if I don't have the time to explore my thoughts deeply.  If I have a day where I can organize my thoughts and put together a neat article, then I will do that, but I won't allow the desire to produce a neat "article" stop me from putting together a simple post when I have a thought related to my healthiness journey that I'd like to share. 

For example, yesterday I would've written about this...

I was out running and listening to a podcast wherein the interviewee was stating that she's not sure where her goal weight will be.  She stated when she began her journey she had a fixed goal weight number in her head, but as she got closer to the number she was reevaluating whether she was really going to get to that goal. 

She made a few comments about how she is okay with that, because now it's about being healthy and in better shape than she ever was for years; and reaching a certain number doesn't change that.  Boy, can I relate to that right now. 

She also said when she started reading blogs she started reading the blogs written by maintainers to give her an idea of what her life would be like in maintenance.  She and the host agreed maintenance is the hardest part of the weight loss journey, but also the most important part.  

Again, I heard that and thought that's exactly what I did.  When I started my weight loss journey, and subsequently my blog, I started following some ladies who had reached there weight loss goals and maintained the loss for some time.  It encouraged me to know that permanent change was possible.  To this day I realized I follow more people in maintenance than I do those that are working through their own journeys.  

I'll leave you with that for today.  I have another thought I want to share, but I need to get going for now.  I may make it back here later this evening or it may have to wait until tomorrow.  For now, I'm just happy I actually got to share something that's been on my mind.  :)

Thanks for stopping by!  Check back tomorrow for my weigh-in. (Though I can tell you...TOM has arrived and I'll just be content to be the same... *sigh*..the joys of womanhood.  lol )

Friday, October 4, 2013

Weigh-In ... Back to the Gym

Today's Weight:  160.5
Loss/Gain:  -1.0

I'm pleased with this.  Down is always better than up.  I got back to the gym this week and I was more careful about my food consumption during the week, reminding myself that I would like to get down to at least 150 before I feel I can really settle into maintenance.  

I think I forgot to track my food one day though, because when I look at my Body Media report calorie deficit balance looks higher than I think it should.  hhmmm...

I know that I did bust my tail at the gym this week.  I have one more race to complete a week from tomorrow and then I'm just going to concentrate on regular exercise like before.  Well, regular but challenging.  My plan is to take these interval training classes at the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays and then run at least 3 other days a week.  This is pretty much what my exercise looked like before my half training started last June.  

I also want to kind of not look too much at the Body Media deficit until the end of the day.  I think I see that I can eat more and I think, "oh yay!! I can eat more, but then I go overboard sometimes."  Make sense?  With the Body Media Fit armband I'm learning that I need at least 1400 calories on a non-exercise day and then I can pretty much eat all of my exercise calories  burned if I want to have a 500 calorie deficit (leading to at least one pound lost) or maybe cut back to about 1/2 of the calories I burn if I want to lose a little more.  

This can sound confusing, so if you're not into it I'm not one bit offended if you skip this part.  I'm really glad I bought the Body Media Fit band though because it has shown me that eating 1200 to keep losing really isn't good for my activity level. (I can't believe that's true... lol )  I've also been listening to a few podcasts of success stories wherein the ladies speaking are saying they realized they stalled in their weight loss because they were cutting themselves too short on calories. 

It's another topic for another day, but I'm really learning a bit about making sure I am eating enough to still lose weight.  It's all very interesting.  

Anyway, I hope you're all having a nice Friday.  We are enjoying some beautiful fall evenings and mornings here.  The days cooled off, but they are back up in the 80's again.  Being that I love my sandals I don't mind that as long as the mornings are cooler for running, which they are.  Soon it will be time for jeans and hoodies and we're looking forward to that as well.  

Thanks for checking in on me.  I hope you have a great weekend. I plan to! :)

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Weekend NSV

Not a long post, but just had to pop on here to say that I was pleased to weigh myself Monday morning and see that I had not gained any weight over the weekend. 

I confess my weight loss journey follows bad dieter rule #3 (I made it up, but did see it in a list recently...)  I eat heavily/crappy on the weekend and then use the week to make up for it. 

I know it's not the best, but it's what I do.  A lot of the time I only intend for one or two of either Friday, Saturday or Sunday to be a higher-calorie day, but it usually ends up being all three.  Then on Monday I'm like, "ooh...I need to get on track." when I see the scale is up a couple pounds. 

Not this week.  This week on Monday I was the same.  That's is great for me!  :)

I also went back to the gym yesterday and went for a run today.  I am sore, but it feels good to be active again.  With the slow metabolism I'm not blessed with I need regular exercise if I want to eat more than rabbit food to lose weight.  :)

So, things are looking up and I'm happy about it.  I hope your week is going well.  Ta Ta For Now!

Um...wait a minute...I'm such a blonde...  

I just realized I titled this a "nsv" which stands for "Non-Scale Victory" and this totally is a scale victory.  DOH!  I guess since it wasn't a weigh-in victory I was thinking of it more as victory with my eating being in check over the weekend and not that the victory was the scale being lower??  Anyway, I'm too pooped to rewrite this or think up a new title, so we'll let it be.  Silly me.  *giggle*