"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Monday, August 31, 2009

Short Little Quiz

I get this daily email from SparkPeople.com and there was a fun little quiz to do and see if you are on the right track to reaching your goals. You can see it here.

I was happy to see that I scored a "You're on the right track to reaching your goals!" score! Yippee!

Anyway, it's no big deal, but it was a little fun.

Enjoying the "Ups"

One more thing...(boy when I came online earlier I couldn't think of anything to write about, now look at me..LOL)

Yesterday I was feeling like I could conquer the world. I was thinking that I sure am enjoying these "up" days of my weight loss journey, but then I was almost afraid of being too positive about how far I've come. "Don't get too prideful. You still have a long way to go.", I told myself.

Then the thought occurred to me that weight loss journeys are filled with many ups and downs and I know that more "downs" will come in my life later on. So, I might as well get as much out of these good days now while they are happening for I may need the encouragement to read about later on when I feel it's hopeless.

Okay...I think that's it for today... Happy Monday! :)

Breaking My Weekend Mentality

For years the words "weekend" and "diet" have never been used at the same time in my vocabulary. I may have been losing weight, but the weekends were always "free time" to eat as I pleased.

Not lately.

I think this is the second weekend in a row that I've eaten like it was during the week and not felt myself slip into this weekend mentality. The schedules are still a little off and I still have my larger meal on Sunday afternoons and then hardly anything else the rest of the day, but... I am finding myself thinking differently about it all. If I have that larger meal and I'm not truly hungry until much later then I don't eat until I'm hungry again.

It's weird and it's foreign, but I'm liking it. :) These are the little changes that I know have to happen to make this weight loss journey a permanent life changing experience and not just the means to an end.

Lifted Spirits

Yesterday I wore a brand new outfit to church. It was made up of a skirt I received for my birthday that was too snug and the white, button-up, petite blouse I mentioned in a post last week. I was thrilled because they were in the 18w size and not a tight 20w.

As I was putting my jewelry on I told my husband that when I was gaining the weight back I lost after I had my youngest I remember feeling so fat when I wore an 18. Yet here I was feeling like a queen because I could fit back into an 18w again!

As I went to church I also felt so good about myself because my clothes are not only fitting better, but getting smaller. I felt strong and capable. I am finally seeing that I can control myself and lose this weight. I haven't really had anyone comment on my weight loss that doesn't already know I'm working on it, and I don't expect it yet, but just knowing that I've kept going down on the scale lifts my spirits.

I know I can do this. Little by little the weight is coming off and little by little I'm gaining the confidence in myself to think I can actually reach my final goal.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Weigh-In ... Slowly, but surely.

Today's Weight: 214.5
Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs
Total Loss So Far: -16.5 lbs

Yes, I was thrilled with today's loss. I knew of some things I think I should've done a little differently this week, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I can finally say that I've lost 15 pounds..well, actually 16 1/2 pounds. :) This means I'm 3.5 pounds away from 20 and I'm excited about that as well.

Here's my deep thought for this week's loss....
I like to cross stitch and am currently working on the first of two pieces that will be gifts for my niece and nephew for Christmas. As I was stitching the other night the thought crossed my mind that my weight loss journey is like a cross stitch project. I work on the cross stitch in my free time, so it's getting done in little bits and pieces. Right now it doesn't look like anything special, but the more work I put into it the more the final picture will begin to take shape. Eventually I will be done with it, get it framed and it will be a finished piece of work that will hopefully bring joy to the recipients.

This is how my weight loss journey seems to be. Little by little I am learning about making better choices, listening to my body and losing weight slowly, but surely. Eventually all the hard work will pay off and come together to make the nice picture that will be my own personal story of weight loss and how I reached my goal. And just like I will walk by that cross stitch and remember the hard work that went into making it, I will look back with joy at old photos and remember the hard work that went into reaching my healthy weight.

Though it may be slow going at times, both projects will be so worth it in the end!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Another New Feeling

As I was trying on my smaller-sized capris yesterday I experienced another new feeling. I put them on, realized they fit, was ecstatic and then was already thinking how wonderful it will be when these get baggy and I'm trying on another size. It made me want to stick with it and keep seeing more good results in the future.

"Made me want to stick with it" is a very new feeling for me.

I've heard people say that as soon as they started seeing the pounds drop they were just that much more motivated to keep going on their diet/weight loss plan and I NEVER could relate to this.

The only other time I lost a large amount of weight I was happy to see myself go down a size, but I never really felt like, "Oh yea!! I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing!!!" I was just happy and then continued to go up and down at such a slow pace that it was months before I went down another size. I wasn't really sticking to a plan or changes and maybe that's why I never felt that way.

However, this time it is different. When I showed my husband the new capris his response was, "Good! Just keep at it!" and I wasn't offended (like "Of course, but can't you be happy that I've made it down this much?!?!". I agreed with him.

Yep, I'm excited to be getting into a smaller size of clothes, but I'm more excited to think that soon these will be loose and I'll be needing another size of clothes, and then another, and possibly another.... JOY!!!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A Size Smaller?

Since a few tops that I haven't worn in "forever" are fitting me again I decided to try on some new capris that were too tight when I received them for my birthday in July. They are a size 18w and they are fitting better now. I think I can actually wear them out in public!!!

I haven't worn an 18w in over a year, so I'm very pleased with this little bit of good news. I never took measurements at the beginning, so I only track my weight. Seeing that some smaller clothes are fitting me shows me that even though the scale hasn't moved too much inches are definitely coming off also. I guess that's where walking has made a big difference in my body.

Oh.... I also bought a size 18wp top the other day at Marshall's to go with a skirt I received for my birthday. I figured that in another 5-10 pounds it would fit me well and I wasn't going to pass it up because it was a WP(which you rarely find at these types of stores) -- that means it was a petite, which I need in button-up shirts. And it fit so perfect!!! Being 5' 4" puts me at the top of the "petite" range, so petite pants are usually shorter than I like. However, petite blouses or dresses are always perfect for me. Not only was I excited that it was a size smaller, but that it was a petite that fit me perfectly.

Hooray!! Here's to more walking and healthier food choices and to seeing the scale go down slowly but surely.

p.s. My mom called when I was trying on the capris and when I told her about my loss she says to me, "Little by little, We whittle and whittle... until we are little!!" I laughed and told her I was going to hang that up somewhere in my house. :) She's so sweet and supportive!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Small Victories

Okay, I can't let it go, so I have to post about it. Two things...

Another few pieces of clothing that I haven't worn in over six months fit again. Woo Hoo!!!


Sunday we went to Golden Corral for lunch. This is a buffet and I've actually been really good about not overeating there the few times we've gone the past couple of months. I just eat until satisfied and then stop. But this Sunday while I was perusing the choices I skipped the mashed potatoes and gravy and had steamed cauliflower instead. I also only ate half of a roll with my meal. I also (it's getting better) served myself a small serving of a chocolate gooey dessert, but gave half of it to my daughter and a bite to my husband. I did have a bite of my son's mashed potatoes with gravy, but that was it on the potatoes.

GO ME!!!!!!! No one at my table probably noticed these little things, but I was so proud of myself. As I've said before, "IT'S CLICKING!" Finally.... .giggle....

My Thoughts On Goal Weights

As I said yesterday I was intrigued when reading Diane's blog post titled "Do You Set A Goal Weight?" What got me thinking the most was that she never did. She just started losing weight and then kept on going until she felt comfortable with where she had ended up. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that they never set a goal weight, so it made me think. Why do we set goals?

She suggested that our nature is to be goal oriented, set higher goals to constantly better ourselves. That makes sense. Maybe it's also because we want to see a light at the end of our proverbial tunnel. If we have a goal in mind, then we know that someday this hard work will be over with. (wow...where did THAT come from??)

Maybe that's how we I think. This weight loss journey is a struggle, but if we have a goal and we reach it then we feel the struggle will be over. That's interesting though because these are life changes that hopefully will stay with us far beyond reaching that goal weight and keep us from ever having to work at losing weight again.

Okay, one more quick thought about goal weights.

I commented on her blog how we are different in that I have set a goal weight and she never did. However, I take it back. When I first decided that I was going to make small changes to lose some of this excess weight my goal was, "To lose enough weight by May 2011 so that I can buy a dress for my husband's graduation from dental school and it WILL NOT be in the plus sizes section of the store."

That was it. No numbers, just anything below "PLUS" and I gave myself two years to do it. I knew that was reachable, and because it was I wasn't scared to try and lose weight one more time.

In fact, I could only commit to making a few small changes and starting to walk a few times a week. Slowly but surely I began believing that I could really become the thin woman I felt was hiding inside of me. Now, almost four months later I know I will reach that original goal and most likely pass it.

If your curious as to whether or not I ever did set numeric goals, here's what I posted on Diane's blog:

My small goals are (A) 199 (just to break 200), then (B) 170 (what I weighed when I got married and a weight I have been down to only once since then) and finally my tentative lowest weight goal is 140.

I figured out this final number by looking at healthy weight ranges on various sites. I trust the Weight Watchers site and this is 6 pounds under the highest healthy weight they show for my age (33) and height (5′4″). I figure that gives me about 5 pounds to play with.

However, if I get to 150 (approx.) and am comfortable and can’t seem to lose more with starving/over exercising myself, then I’ll stop there. Or…(I really can’t imagine this now) if I get to 140 and I’m not feeling like that’s where I should stop, then I’ll go down a little more. Since I haven’t weighed near that since high school I can’t even think that far ahead yet.

So, I said all that to say this. ... Just kidding...

So, yes I have a numeric goal in my mind, but really...as long as I make that original goal of buying my "graduation" dress in the "regular" department then I'll make myself be happy. In fact, as I finish up writing this post I'm wondering if I should let go of my goal weight and just push on to get smaller and smaller until I find the right, healthy weight for me.

Okay, I really think I also have a goal because I'm scared I'll get lazy and stop short of it just because I'm too "tired" to try anymore.

That's it. That's about as honest as I can get on this subject. Sorry for the long post, but I think I covered all my thoughts and feelings now. :) (This will be an interesting one to look back up in a year and see if my thoughts/feelings have changed.)

Have a great day everyone!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Goal Weights

Diane wrote a post today on setting a goal weight that got me to thinking. I'll have to write more about it later, but I find myself wondering, "Why do we feel the need to set a goal weight?" I haven't ever really met a final goal weight in my life, so why would I set one now? Is it because now I know deep inside that I'm determined to lose this weight once and for all?


I'll take any comments you'd like to offer and I'll write more on it tomorrow.


Merriam-Webster gives the definition for consistent as " ...marked by harmony, regularity, or steady continuity : free from variation or contradiction ..." among other things.

As I was going about my day yesterday I kept thinking about what needs to change for me to continue down my weight loss journey at a slightly faster more regular pace. The one thing I kept coming back to is consistency.

I need to be more consistent in keeping with my good eating habits and exercise. Well, actually the exercise isn't the problem. I get that in regularly, though maybe not as many days as some people, but it works for me. It's my eating that doesn't stay consistent.

In all honesty I have days that I do really good and then I always have days that I eat too much. I know that I'm doing this, but it's like I just hope that it will even out for the week and I'll see maybe a 0.5 - 1.0 lb loss. Well, you can't have three days of eating really good and then two of eating really bad and then two more of so-so eating and hope to lose weight very quickly. It's probably why I'm always so nervous on Saturday mornings when I weigh in. I know I haven't eaten well consistently through the week and by Saturday I'm afraid that it's going to show on the scale and then I'll have to post about it and feel awful.

Don't get me wrong, I still truly do believe in taking baby steps, but I'm seeing myself fall into a pattern that I followed about nine years ago when trying to lose post-pregnancy weight (and then some). Back then I lost about 40 pounds over the course of two years. Now I agree, that a loss over two years is better than a gain. However (long dramatic pause) during that same time a friend of mine lost 60 pounds in about 6-8 months.

The difference? She was consistent. I wasn't. She put her mind to it and lost weight. I put my mind to it on days I felt like it and then didn't worry about it on other days. So, it took me a lot longer and I never reached my goal. Of course, then I was so happy to weigh what I weighed when I got married that I didn't care about a healthy goal weight, but that's another story.

Anyway, I don't want to fall into that same pattern. I intend on making my goal weight this time. I've set myself a time to lose it that gives me plenty of time to fall off the wagon, have bad days, learn what works best for me, etc. etc., but I do not want to use this large time frame as an excuse not to stick with the program.

To help me stay more consistent I'm going to keep a food journal for at least the next month. Yes, I know I mentioned that I was already doing this, but I stopped a few weeks ago. SparkPeople is great, but I'm going to handwrite in a weight loss journal I have already started. I want to be able to look over each week and see what worked and what didn't.

This hasn't been easy for me as I have fought "healthy" eating with everything in me sometimes and I am slowly changing some lifelong bad habits. I think now it's time to get some consistency in my plan and try my best to have good weeks instead of just a few good days per week.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Only 2.5 lbs.

As I posted my monthly pictures last night I realized that I have lost only 2.5 pounds over this past month. That was a real eye-opener for me. I knew it had been a bit rough and I had ups and downs, but I didn't realize just how bad it really was.

So, tonight I read over all of my weigh-in posts from the past month. Hhhmm..... There is lots to think about, but let's keep it short tonight and just say that I don't plan on having another 2-3 lb weight loss for a month. The first month I wasn't bummed at all, because I was just getting my activity in order. Then I did great, got on the ball about my food and lost 9 more poundsthe second month and then.... hhhmm... Maybe too much pondering about weight loss and not enough action?

Or was this a month of learning for me? Learning what didn't work and what really does work?

I'm not really sure, but I know that I need to step it up. Get things in gear. I know I'm not in a rush to lose the weight, but that's no excuse for laziness and to be honest, YES I'm a little vexed with myself right now.

It's been a good week and a good weekend, for that matter, so I'll just keep going. I just hope I can get with the program so I don't have to see such a small loss over the next month. *sigh* Giving up is not an option for me.


Out of the mouth of Babes

During this evening's church service my "older" twin daughter was leaning on me with her head on my shoulder when she suddenly reaches up to my ear and whispers, "Mom, I don't know if I want you to get skinnier, because you're so cushioney!"

I just started to giggle and shared that comment with my husband. I reassured her that I'd probably never get too skinny to not have any cushion for her. :)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Month Three Pics

I took my progression pictures for month 3. Here's the link for those who can access it.

I'm going to post later on my feelings upon realizing I've only lost 2.5 pounds this month...SIGH... oh well, better down than up, but it's a real eye opener for me. Meanwhile, I'm going to go for a walk with one of my daughters now while my husband and the other two play soccer outside.

Way to go, Chris!!!

Remember my friend, Chris, who was doing the back-to-school challenge with me? Well, she is also on of my best friends and we are losing this weight "together" even though we live in two different states now.

Her weightloss blog is private, so I told her I was going to brag about her on mine when she made great accomplishments.

Well, it's time to brag, because Chris has lost her first 20 lbs. Woo Hoo!!! She hit - 21 pounds loss this morning.

Way to go, Chris!! I'm so glad we're in this together!! You're doing a great job!! :)

Weigh-In ... Little by Little

Today's Weight: 216.5
Loss/Gain this week: - 1.0 lb
Total Loss So Far: -14.5 lbs.

The quote of the week at school this past week was "Nothing can be done except little by little." by Charles Baudelaire. That pretty much sums up how I feel today. A pound is a pound and it's another one gone from me. I'm very happy with that!

Really there's not much more to say today. I'm about to read some blog posts and maybe I'll get inspired to write something later, but for now I'm happy with my loss and that's about it.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Hindering Thoughts

Thinking during weight loss is a good thing when planning healthy meals, times to fit in exercise or how to handle an upcoming social event, etc., etc. But I find if I'm not careful, thinking can hinder me on my weight loss journey, especially when...

... I compare myself to others on their weight loss journey.

... I think about where I could be in a year, or even six months. If I don't make this goal I will be depressed, even if I've lost some weight, because thoughts of failure try to take hold of my mind.

... I think about how I've lost and gained this weight so many times and how if I would've only kept it off five years ago I wouldn't be going through this struggle now.

... I think about a bad choice so long that I'm depressed and think the weight will never come off and I'll never be able to control myself with food.

The list could go on and on. Some may not relate to this at all, but I know for myself that my own thoughts can be my very own worst enemy.

I know there will be rough days, bad choices made, but hindering thoughts will do nothing to help me reach my weight loss goals. So, instead of giving in to them and letting them ruin my days I will press on to keep the thoughts positive and just keep going to the best of my ability.

P.S. Feel free to share any thoughts you might battle and how you overcome them. :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Whew, I got up!

I don't want to leave you hanging all day wondering, so here it is. Yes, I got up early and worked out this morning! Woo Hoo!! The funny/good thing about it is that I was actually awake and enjoyed it. I didn't feel like my feet were dragging. Still not the afternoon energy I am used to when beginning a workout, but it felt good.

Off to finish getting ready for school! :)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Pride & Falls and Ups & Downs

So, after my great post yesterday about getting up early I overslept this morning. I heard the alarm once and then again about 20 minutes after I should've gotten up. My morning schedule doesn't allow for a 20-minute change, so I had to skip my workout. Of course, we also have church tonight, so that means that there will be no workout at all today.

Oh well. Such is life. Sheesh!! "Pride comes before a fall..." right?

I will say the extra sleep sure felt good. I drank too much water close to bedtime and was up and down for the first hour after I went to bed. That was a bummer.

Oh, one more thing. Another "fall" of sorts.

Last night, after I posted, I happened to sit down on the couch next to my daughter and the seam on the inner thigh of my capris ripped. I had noticed the back seam was loose in parts, but that caught me off guard.

Talk about feeling FAT!!!! It threw me emotionally into a whirlwind of thoughts about how I'll never lose this weight, why am I even trying, etc. etc. Then it made me think about everything else that could possibly be a vex to me and I was miserable when I went to bed. I had a good cry and then finally dropped off to sleep (before I was awakened to use the potty two more times in the next hour).

However, this morning I got up and realized (sorry for the TMI) that I needed a lighter color bra to go under my shirt for school and I decided to try one I haven't worn in months because it's a size smaller around. Well, it fit!! I wore it all day and it has been comfortable.

So, I've been up and down emotionally a few times already since yesterday's post, but I'm glad it ended on a happier thought. :) Now, let's just see if I can get up to workout tomorrow morning, or if I'll end up doing it in the evening.

Talk to you tomorrow!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Another Early Day

Well, I got up early again this morning to workout. It went well. I managed to stay awake afterwards also. I'd like to say that I'll keep this up every day, but I can't won't commit to that just yet. While I like the fact that it is done for the day, I'm just not sure I"ll get used to waking up early and working out first thing in the morning.

Anyway, we'll see.. Like I said, I'll keep you posted. I do like the mornings, so maybe after a week I"ll really get into it. :) Lord knows I have plenty of crafts to finish up for Christmas that I could do on the days I don't work and would have "extra" time in if I workout early in the day.

Talk to you tomorrow....

Monday, August 17, 2009

Working and Working Out

I am a part-time substitute teacher and usually work 2-3 days a week and only at my kids' school. Well, over the summer I started wondering how my workouts were going to fit in my work schedule. I also make time for my daily Bible reading and prayer in the mornings, so working out when I work is going to be tricky, because it either means I have to get up early or workout late in the evenings. I decided that I'd workout 30 minutes on the days I sub and then 45-60 on the days I don't. Until yesterday I hadn't decided if this would be early mornings or late nights. I like early mornings, but that means that I have to get to bed at a decent hour and I am not always the best at disciplining myself to do that.

I finally decided to try early mornings. I need to get up by 6:00am at the latest and I did that this morning. I didn't fight too hard (I would've if I would've been getting up at 5:00 am like my weight-loss buddy who has kids in high school) and the workout went fine. I showered and then sat down with my Bible and coffee and almost fell back asleep. **giggle** oops...

Nevertheless, I'm going to try and get up early again tomorrow and see if I can do it AND stay awake while I read my Bible before I get the kids up. I won't complain, because I know other people (ahem,Chris..) get up earlier than that to workout before they get on with their days. I'm hoping maybe I can get myself into this as a habit and get up early on the days I don't work also so that I can always be done with the workouts early in the morning.

I'll keep you posted on how the week goes. :)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Custard Comfort (Not)

Thursday my husband and I went to breakfast after the kids went off to their first day of school. Afterwards we ran a few errands. This included a trip to the cell phone store, which turned out to be a not-so-pleasant experience. I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say I was a little bummed when we were driving home.

As we neared our neighborhood my husband asks if I'd like to stop and get some frozen custard (one of my FAVORITE treats - chocolate with peanut butter mixed in - YUM!).

Husband offers, "Would you like to stop and get some frozen custard?"

Me, with a little sigh, "And get fat? I'm not really hungry yet."

Husbands pats my leg and says, "I just wanted to cheer you up."

I pause, think a minute and say, "Custard isn't going to make me feel better...I'll be fine. But thank you for offering."

Husband, "Okay."

WHAT?!?!? Did I just say that?!?!?

I surprised myself when I said that custard wasn't going to make things better. I knew it was true and flashes of posts I've read on emotional eating went through my mind; but I myself have never said something like that before!

I LOVE custard, but I honestly wasn't really hungry and I already knew that I was probably going to see a gain this week, so it especially didn't sound good at that moment. Eating the custard would've just added overeating guilt to my emotional distress and what good was that going to do?

Now I must confess that I didn't turn down the custard completely. Later in the day when I got hungry for lunch I took him up on his offer. I wasn't upset anymore, I was truly getting hungry and it did sound good. So I had a frozen custard for my lunch. It was so filling that my dinner was a very light salad with half of my serving of chicken broccoli braid, because I got full quickly.

So, while I don't suggest eating frozen custard for lunch every day, I do suggest waiting for the proper time to eat it - when you're hungry - and not just when you're upset. It tastes so much better on and empty stomach than a full, emotionally upset one. :)

Weigh-In ... By The Skin Of My Teeth

Today's Weight: 217.5 lbs.
Loss/Gain this Week: - 0.5 lb.
Total Loss So Far: - 13.5 lbs.

After the multiple high-calorie meals I ate this week I wasn't expecting any kind of loss, so this was a nice surprise. I guess it goes to show you that watching portions does make a difference and making sure to get the exercise in helps also. Otherwise, there's not much more to say than that except that I will try to not have too many more weeks like this. Too stressful.... :)

Friday, August 14, 2009

My New Support

I don't talk about my weight loss efforts with many people who live near me. Only two of my friends locally know I'm working on weight loss. My greatest "support group" consists of three closest friends who live far away, my husband(well, I guess he's local, huh? :P ) and now....

.... my internet friends!

Yesterday I posted a very realistic view of what this week has been like for me. Not only did I want others to see that they aren't the only ones that have bad weeks, but I wanted to be honest and upfront with those following my weight loss journey. While I didn't necessarily expect bad comments, I was encouraged by all the positive comments I received; and I realized last night that I have a small support group out there that is cheering me on.

I so appreciate that. Especially when I'm not your average, "get 'er done" weight loss person. I'm your slow-and-steady-wins-the-race person and those of you that have commented have accepted me as just that.

So, as I finish up by morning internet time here, let me just say that I am grateful for those who are leaving encouraging comments and even for those who think negative ones and don't leave them for me. I know I need a good kick in the rear at times, but I'm glad that I can make my baby-step changes, come here to post about the ups and downs and know that you're all rooting for me. Thank you!!!

Happy Friday!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

My High Fat Week - Blunt Honest Post here...

Well, I have this feeling that I will have a gain this week. I have two days left until my official weigh-in and I realized that I've had four days this week where I went pretty high in calories. This is not conducive to weight loss. I'm a bit bummed, but I have to be honest and prepare my readers for what's to come, because I know I won't be surprised.

In case you don't believe me, take a look:

Saturday we were gone all day and I had 1 1/2 McD's breakfast burritos with an iced coffee for breakfast, two hotdogs at a friend's for lunch with a few chips and two little cookies, then I had a double cheeseburger, fries and a real coke for dinner...on our way home at 10:30 pm.

Sunday was okay...just a large lunch, but that's nothing new. I don't usually eat late after our evening church service because I eat a larger lunch.

Tuesday I had a small frybread with meat and beans on top and veggie fixings and sweet tea (with sugar) at a funeral lunch. I didn't overeat, was comfortably satisfied, but then my husband wanted to take us to dinner before I was truly hungry again...at Applebe's. There I had some spinach & artichoke dip and then the Chicken Oriental Salad and I was very full when done.

Yesterday wasn't so bad. I made a ceviche-type meal to eat with tortilla chips and homemade fresh salsa. It had shrimp, tomato, cucumber, onion and avocados in it. I had no idea how high in fat tortilla chips were until yesterday, but the tostada shells weren't any lower and that's how we eat it. So I need to figure out what to make instead.

Oh, and I haven't drank hardly any water each day. This, I'm sure, isn't helping me at all.

You see...I'm not making it up when I'll be surprised if I even maintain. I guess I should add that it's been that time of the month this week, but I don't feel I can really blame that.

Anyway, I just had to be honest. I'm not going to throw in the towel these next two days and say I'll start back on Saturday, but I am preparing for the worst. I know it will get better, but this probably isn't the week that's going to happen.

Thanks for listening reading.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Why, yes, that was me!

If you happen to turn on the news and see a clip about a chubby blonde girl in Oklahoma who was bookin' it on a walking trail at a local park and you think she looks familiar....

...yes, it was me!

I decided to go for a walk this evening while my family watched a movie. Once I got my iPod shuffle going the walking workout beat got in my veins and my legs got into their groove. Within minutes I was moving right along. I originally planned to walk 3 miles, which is 3 laps, but as I reached about 2.75 laps I was in such a good groove that I decided to go one more. I finished 4 miles in one hour.

Boy it felt good! And then I suddenly thought to myself, "Why, yes, I am one of them. I am a fit person out for her evening walk." I smiled right out loud.

Then when I got home I sashayed in front of my family and said, with a huge grin on my face, "Yes, that was me out there...walking as fast as the skinny ladies at the park and faster than the fat ones!" Hey, it was true...I was the heaviest one walking that fast pace on the trail.

They grinned and so did I. :) What a great feeling.

Pointless Post :o)

I've had two very busy days that have not allowed time for me to workout...yet. As I write I'm waiting for my dinner to settle and I think I can probably still fit in a walk this evening. However, yesterday I spent the entire day working on a photo board for a funeral this morning and then making homemade salsa for "approximately 100 people", cleaning up the kitchen, helping my husband do the slideshow for the funeral, pick up my son from a friend's house, drop off a little girl who hung out with my girls for the day, etc. etc. Then this morning was the funeral, about an hour from us out in the country. Then the graveside and helping to serve the lunch afterwards and clean up.

Then it was on to Open House at the kids' school to find out who their teachers will be. Then... (as my stomach was thinking about possibly being hungry for dinner, but not quite yet.) my husband takes us to Applebee's for dinner.

We are home now and I can finally relax, but I'm full. Full from the busy day and full from dinner and I'm wondering what wonderful thought I'm supposed to make of this post.

Nothing. Nothing special about how to motivate one's self or how to stay on track. Just a post that I've been so busy I haven't had time to workout.

However... as I sit here knowing I do have time for a lazy evening I'm thinking that maybe I will go ahead and go for a walk outside while the kids watch a movie with my husband. It's a bit warm and humid out, but that's okay. I'll feel better when I'm done and then I can feel better doing my relaxing later tonight.

hhhmm.... Good idea! Bye for now!

Monday, August 10, 2009

My first Clothing Victory

When I started working on my weight loss I was 231 lbs and pretty much everything I own was getting tight on me. I had only one new t-shirt that was loose. I didn't have any other loose clothing because I refused to buy a bigger size of anything. Because of my clothes all being so tight, my weight loss so far has just helped my clothes actually fit, but nothing is really loose yet (except that one t-shirt).


Yesterday morning I was getting ready for church and I decided to try and wear a top I haven't worn since the winter. That last time I wore this pink dress shirt it was so snug that I had to leave the bottom button undone. I decided I wouldn't wear it again after that because I was embarrassed about leaving that button undone.

Well, IT FIT!!!! I told my husband this and he replied with a, "Good for you!". Though no one else at church knew what it meant for me to be wearing that shirt, I wore it with pride to both services.

Small Steps, Smaller changes

I have been on my weight loss journey seriously now for almost three months. In that time I have only lost 13 pounds. As of last Friday that means I've lost an average of one pound a week. They say 1-2 pounds a week is a good, healthy rate of weight loss. I wish it was coming off faster, but I know the changes I'm making are going to last forever.

One thing that is going fine for me is the exercise. I enjoy it and I haven't had a problem doing my walking workout daily. That just "clicked" for me. :) Food has been another issue entirely.

It's taken me a while to cut out the really high-fat foods. I've just had to come to the realization about how some foods are better for me. It's been a slow process for me, but my eating habits are changing and I'm doing okay with it.

In fact, just yesterday I was thinking about how months ago I said I'd never eat "strict and healthy", just watch my portions. Yet here I am learning that while portions are important, so is healthier food. Yes, I can have the occasional treat, or higher-fat meal, but in general I need those healthier foods, for my body to feel its best.

The funny thing is that I don't mind eating better now. I enjoy the better choices and I don't feel like I'm being deprived (most of the time) [grin].

So, while it's taking some time for my weight to come off I just keep reminding myself that these small changes are making a difference. Hey, I eat better, I workout at least four times a week and I've lost 13 pounds. None of that was happening six months ago! :)

Back-To-School Challenge - Final Weigh-In

Our back-to-school challenge ended last Saturday, August 8,2009. We were hoping to lose 20 lbs by that date. Here's the stats:

Chris - total loss: -18.6 lbs.
Leah - total loss: -13.0 lbs.

As you can tell, Chris came the closest. GO CHRIS!!!!! She's only 1.5 lbs away from being able to tell the teachers that she's lost 20 lbs over the summer. I just know she'll make it this week.

I'm a little bit farther away. There are no excuses, but I do have little reasons. Just last week I finally decided to cut some more high-fat foods out of my diet...this has taken me some time to do. So, while I would've loved to have lost 20 pounds by now I'm not really upset about it. I'm just glad that I'm still down.

We both decided that challenges are a little stressful. We're not in this for a race, but for lifetime changes. So, for now I don't think we'll be doing any more challenges. :)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Back-To-School Challenge - To be cont...

Because I am leaving and Chris is in a time zone two hours behind me I will not be posting our weights for the Back-to-School Challenge until tomorrow.

Weigh-In ... Small Changes Work

Today's Weight: 218.0
Loss/Gain This Week: - 1.5 lbs.
Total Loss So Far: - 13.0 lbs.

I'll have to write more thoughts later, because we are leaving for an entire day out in a few minutes, but here's a quick thought about this weigh-in:

I made a few small changes this week in cutting out the higher fat foods and it paid off. I'm glad to see the loss, because those changes weren't 100% dead on the entire week.

Thank you all for your support and here's to another week of not giving up!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Little Workout Partner

We've been babysitting the 1 1/2 year old of some friends for a couple of days while her mother stays at the hospital with her very ill mother (tots grandmother). Yesterday I was doing my walking workout while she was awake and she kept watching the video and wondering what was going on. Then when I was stretching she started doing what I was doing. It was so cute, so my daughter grabbed the camera to take a picture of it.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Reduced-Fat Thoughts

First off, we took the kids shopping for new tennis for school the other day and I got a new pair also. You can see in my picture that I put them on right away. Well, nothing makes you want to workout more than a brand new pair of tennis shoes so I proceeded to workout in them right away. That wasn't such a great idea. I needed to work them in a bit before walking hard for a straight 30 minutes. My feet weren't sore for too long, so that was good. :)

Okay, now on with my thoughts...

Yesterday I went grocery shopping the other day with "Fit to the Finish" on my mind. I was shopping and looking at labels, which is something I've never really done before. It was quite the learning experience. I learned that many things that are "reduced fat" are not that much less in calories and/or they are much higher in sugar. hhmm.... This is partly why I think keeping fresh fruits and veggies in my diet is so vital. Boxed and pre-packaged foods can carry a lot more in them than we realize.

In my shopping I decided to buy reduced-fat Mayo. I have a recipe to make that uses 1/2 cup of mayo and I thought this would be good to use for that and cut the calories, plus I can use it on my 98% fat-free turkey sandwhich on 100% whole wheat bread (yes, I'm a little proud of these better choices). As I put it in my basket I thought to myself, "My husband is going to flip out when he sees this in the fridge. Oh well, I'll tell him it's for me and not tell him that I'm going to use in a recipe also." I grinned to myself and went on with my shopping.

When I got home and put my groceries away I showed him that I bought him some Hot Pockets for snacks. He said, "No more." and proceeded to pat his belly. "What?!?", I was thinking. (Remember he's been working out daily, but he's not that big - still in the high end of his healthy weight range and he told me a long time ago he wasn't changing how he ate) Upon further inquiry he explained he had watched a little video clip about how cardio and weight loss are necessary to lose belly fat and show the six-pack abs. No, he's not a body builder, but getting rid of that little bit of belly fat he accrued over the last five years means a lot to him. (Someday I just might be able to see what I'm hiding under all this fat also...*giggle* ) I decided that was a good time to tell him that I bought reduced-fat mayo and he just shrugged. Time will tell if he gets desperate enough to use it on his sandwhiches, but in the meantime I was glad he didn't "freak out" on me about the reduced-fat mayo.

Speaking of sandwhiches..I don't think I care too much for the reduced-fat mayo. However, if it will help me eat less calories and lose weight, then I'll keep using it.

Wait a minute.. That's what this is all about, right? We are finding out what will work best to help us get healthier and lose excess weight. Sometimes we may not like it, ie. reduced-fat mayo, and sometimes we may love it, ie. new tennis shoes, but we know that in the long run the pay-off will make it all worth it. And I LOVE that thought most of all! :)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Good Choices = Good Feelings

As most of you know, last Friday night I ate a some junk food on our girls-only overnight trip and I felt very yucky the next day. Well, I'm back on track with my healthier eating and I am feeling so much better!!!

Plus, today we went to Sam's club and decided to eat lunch there before going home. What to eat?? I knew I wasn't going to eat a hot dog or slice of pizza, but a hot pretzel with mustard sounded good. Hey I'm sure it's not too high in fat, right? Well, they also have a chicken caesar salad made with romaine lettuce, grilled boneless, skinless chicken breast, a few shavings of real parmesan cheese, croutons and the caesar dressing.

I was a little worried about the dressing, but since it is served in a little cup on the side I figured it would be fine; and overall, a much better choice than the hot pretzel. So, I bought the salad and ate that with half of the dressing while my family ate slices of pizza. I even only ate two of the croutons and gave the rest to my kids.

I wanted a taste of crust, or even a bite of the pizza, but I didn't have any. I stuck with my salad. It was very yummy and I felt so good having made a better choice while eating out.

Note: My husband asked if my salad was okay and looked a little worried for me. LOL!! I told him it was wonderful and he even shared a few bites. Something about eating better just feels so good!

Monday, August 3, 2009

All In Good Time

Let me start by saying that this post is not an excuse to make poor eating habits when trying to lose weight, nor is it an excuse to be lazy and not try and stick to your weight loss plan of choice. It is, however, something I think makes a difference in how you look at your progress when trying to lose weight.

For some people deciding to lose weight just "clicks" and they "get 'er done!". (grin). But for others, like me, it takes a lot of thinking, trial and error and can get very frustrating at times.

Personally, I'm not having the easiest time changing my eating habits. I have good days and I have not-so-good days. I think the difficulty for me right now is that my not-so-good days aren't as bad as they would've been in the past. So, while I know that I need to make better choices I can sometimes fool myself into thinking that I'm okay, because I'm not eating like I would've six months ago.

But you know, I don't beat myself up for that, I just kind of give myself a stern look and try to do better next time. There may be those that think I'm lazy, or need to really get with the program, but you know this my journey, not theirs. I'm making lifelong changes and I want them to stay. I am breaking years of yo-yo dieting and bad habits with every intention of never having to go through this again.

And it's going to take some time. And it's defnitely proving not to always be easy (to order a chicken wrap when my family orders Big Macs...)

Do I plan on eating junk just because I'm "learning and I make mistakes-oops!". No. I actually found myself ready to step it up a little this week and cut some things out because they just aren't worth it right now if they are hindering my weight loss.

I'm fighting some major flesh and mind battles some days, but you know what? I'm not in any great hurry and I know it will come off in time. Some days I just make sure to workout, drink water and try to keep my attitude positive...otherwise I'd go crazy. :)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

A good "Ugh..."

I took my twin daughters on a mini, girls-only vacation overnight last night. We had fun, ate some treats and today my stomach was not happy with me. I can't remember the last time my stomach was upset from eating junk, but it was today. We ended our little trip with lunch at Applebees before coming home and I was never so happy to have a salad as I was today. :)

It didn't feel good to have my stomach upset, but I'm glad that I did just for the fact that it showed me my body likes healthier choices.

Back-To-School Challenge - Week 2

Here are the stats:
Chris: This week's loss/gain -1.8 lbs.
Total Loss So Far: - 17.1 lbs.

This week's loss/gain +1.0
Total Loss So Far: -11.5 lbs.

As you can see, Chris is making the challenge just fine. She is dedicated and keeps up the hard work! You go girl!! :)

I'm deciding if I'll ever do a challenge again because I'm just not making regular, good losses each week. I think challenges scare me for this very reason. I'm currently just glad that I exercise regularly and haven't decided to quit losing weight already. :) Here's to another week!