Sleep, Such a Wonderful Thing!

One of the things I'm enjoying the most about being on vacation, and visiting my grandparents, is getting full nights of sleep.  

Ahh.... We can stay up until 10:00 or 11:00pm and I don't have to get up until whenever I want.  I set my alarm for 7:00 and usually get up by 7:30.  If I'm a little extra tired I can even sleep until 8:00.  

Glorious! 

A full 8-9 hours of sleep a night means I'm not dragging during the daytime.  When we are up at 6:00am during the school year I hit a slump every afternoon where I am so, so tired -- unless I get to bed at like 9:00/9:30pm.  Since that rarely happens I hit the slump.

Maybe seeing how good it feels to actually power through the day without needing a nap will encourage me to get to bed earlier during the school year. 

Okay...probably not.  So, I will enjoy my full nights of sleep during summer break right now.  :) 

Where I Complain About My Weight, But I Don't Quit

Now that you have an idea where I'm at with my life (see previous post) and weight and exercise...I am going to get something off my chest. 

It is frustrating to have to be so careful with my food and exercise to stay at a healthy weight.  However, for me, what's even more frustrating is the fact that I have to make such a conscious effort to eat better or eat smaller portions.  I dislike very much that my natural inclination is to eat junk or too much food just because, and of course I get frustrated that it doesn't take much extra food or lack of movement for the weight to jump right back on.  

I know this is totally normal and it's why the majority of people who lose weight gain it all back. 

Because it's a fight.  It's a daily choice to keep making decisions that are better for you. 

Isn't it crazy that I have no problem making better choices in other areas, but this area is one of those that is rough.  It's the proverbial thorn in my side.  I guess it's better than fighting a drug addiction, so I am grateful for that, but it's still hard and frustrating and often doesn't feel fair.

Today as I was blogging I was thinking, "You dope.  If you could just get your head completely in the game, then you would be a winner at this and you'd no longer struggle with your weight."  

But I don't think that's true.  Or at least I'd like to think it's not, because then it gives me a reason to still feel like it's a fight to be that healthier, never-struggles-with-"good"-food-choices lady I dream of being. 

Sigh.  

I feel a little better.  

Maybe I'll print this and tuck it in my mirror to look at daily.  As a reminder that I need to not give up and fall into "vacation mode", because for me that leads to weight gain and feelings of upset tummy, not to mention the emotional upset of feeling like a big fat failure.  (I already have had to tell myself to ignore the memories of how thin I was two years ago when I came to visit my grandparents...)

Or maybe I can look at this and be reminded that it's because I refuse to give up that I m not completely starting over.  I'm in a slump that I will not allow to go any further than it already has.  I know this to be true, because I keep making sure I don't go up any further and haven't in six months. 

I know when I am settled again I can and will get back to even better eating.  Until then, I will press on fighting the fight so that I don't have more than 20 pounds to deal with later on. 

Because coming on here and complaining, and thinking, and venting reminds me that I am not back up at 230 pounds and I have no intention of getting there again.  I won't quit.  

I may cry and complain and whine, but really this is a fight I can win -- am winning if I dare be so optimistic -- so I will keep on with one of my original mottos/choices.

Thanks for listening.  It's not over, because I am NEVER going back to that overweight woman I was...not if I can help it, and so far, thankfully, I can.

Packing, Moving and Traveling

It's that time of our [military] life again.  Moving! 

We have cleaned, sorted and gotten things ready to be packed.  Watched as an awesome group of movers came and packed and loaded our entire home up in three days.  Lived on air mattresses and borrowed plastic table and chairs for a week until it was time to turn in house keys.  And, finally, loaded up the cars and I made my way with our children up to my grandparents to visit with them a few weeks before making our [hopefully last] move to a new state when my husband goes on his official "terminal leave".  

Our landlord was unable to extend our lease an extra month, so we decided to combine a visit to the great-grandparents with a need of a place to stay until my husband gets settled in his new job.  

It's been a whirlwind of crazy and my 21-Day Fix ended right as this craziness got it's craziest.  In fact, I lasted strictly only 14 days and then only partially followed the last week.  I felt the best I've felt in a long time while doing the 21-Day Fix, but I'm here to be honest that I've probably gained what I lost during it. 

Okay, no "probably".  My scale was packed up a couple weeks ago, but my Grandma's scale shows that I have indeed gained it back.  I haven't eaten like I was those two and a half weeks, so I'm not surprised, but I hate having to say that out loud.

However, I made a point to step on her scale (when I really didn't want to) and so I know the reality of where I'm at.  I decided before starting this move that I would make an effort to exercise during our move, even if it was only walks.  

My grandparents have a treadmill in the living room and a small t.v. in the guest bedroom with a DVD player in it.  We got here last Wednesday and I have done two DVD interval workouts so far.  My husband came up for the holiday weekend, so I gave myself some slack while he was here.  

So, I am here.  I am alive.  We had a great 4th of July and are enjoying very quiet peaceful days waaaay out in the country.  I'm not in control of what is being cooked here, but I am choosing to be in control of how much of it I eat and whether or not I get any intentional exercise done. 

Thanks for stopping by!