Thankful Days & Hot 100 Update #9

This week hasn't been the best for a challenge. As I posted yesterday, I am up half a pound. It's been that week where as I reach to munch on something I think "I don't care." Some of the time I felt like I was watching myself from the outside and commenting, "This is so strange how you have control all the other weeks of the month, but this one week you don't care and you aren't even bothered by it...until bedtime."

Yes, a few nights I was miserable at bedtime when I thought about what I'd eaten. The overeating always hit in the evenings, but I seriously didn't care until later in the night. This is obviously going to be an issues I must deal with. And I will.

In the meantime, today I am thankful that for a PMS week my gain was only 0.5 and not any more. I'm thankful I was able to get a grip on my eating early enough so as to not see a huge gain.

Now on to my Hot 100 goals:

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). I am up 0.5 a pound this week, but I know I'm still within my range of where I should be for the challenge. So, yellow it is. I look forward to seeing a loss again next week. Have I mentioned that I can't believe I'm in the 180's??? It's amazing to me. I

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. No. I have exercised only two days this week. Having company in from out of town has kept me busy. I'm okay with that choice.

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym. I believe I'll get there.

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily.YES! I've been drinking anywhere from 64 - 96 oz. of water daily. It's just been so easy. The only cold drinks I've had have been a few sips of my husband's "real" Coke and one of my own...another sign of TOM coming, although it was not enjoyable beyond the first gulp or two. LOTS of water though, and coffee ( 1-2) cups a day and hot tea. :) Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. No. I think I journaled one day. Honestly, I am going to get my book journal back out, and I didn't journal some things because I was munching and knew I couldn't keep track of how much. Sad, but true.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. No.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Done. Not even a skinny anything this week. :)

I hope you all have a nice weekend! My grandparents are in town until Monday and we are going to do some baking, maybe some crafting, some game playing and definitely some Christmas tree decorating. :) It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Thankful Days - Throwdown Challenge

It is the end of Thanksgiving Day for us here in the United States. I've had a wonderful day of cooking, visiting, cleaning up and then relaxing with my family and visiting grandparents. It's been quiet and cozy.

Since it is Thursday it is also my weigh-in day and I did indeed weigh myself. My munching, M&M crunching week resulted in a 0.5 pound gain. Being that I've been pretty PMS'y lately, I'm not surprised and I'm thankful I reigned in the craziness before it ended up being much, much more. I have been drinking TONS of water and I'm sure that helped.

Now on to my Thankful Thoughts for Thursday. (nice, huh .. LOL )

I want to take a minute to share my thankfulness for Barb for inviting me to be in this challenge with her. I was shocked she would ask me, and touched that she considered me a friend enough to ask me. I tend to freeze up during weight-loss challenges, but I figured I'd agree and, if nothing else, be a cheerleader for her to reach her goals. Now, three weeks into the month, I find myself actually losing weight and being in the lead. A small miracle considering my track record.

Joining Barb in this challenge has proven to be greatly motivating for me. Even this week of mindless eating was curbed in because I knew I had to weigh-in today. I'm grateful she asked, and I'm even more grateful that she hasn't given up herself, even if her weeks haven't been what she may have wanted.

We have one more week to go and I will not get lazy. She could still come from behind. :)

Thankful Days - My Savior

Today I would like to keep my post simple with this one undeniable truth. I am a born again Christian and I'm so very grateful for my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. That he would give his life for mine is awesome, in the truest sense of the word. That he would continue to work in my life after all these years is amazing to me.

When I gave my life to Jesus he not only forgave me of my sins, but he offered me joy and peace no matter what life throws my way. This includes struggles with weight.

Many times in this weight loss journey I have struggled with fears of failure, inadequacy and more, but He always sees me through. Sometimes it's a sermon at church or a scripture in my daily Bible reading. Other times it's words of wisdom and encouragement spoken in person or written on a blog.

No matter the venue God has ministered to me so many times in my weight loss journey that it wouldn't be right to not give Him proper praise. The bondages I've had to food could not be broken without his help.

As I write I'm reminded of a favorite scripture of mine. ...
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.". Psalm 37:4

One of my desires is to have control over food in my life. With God's help I'm blessed to say I'm in the process of seeing that come to pass, and I'm so very, very thankful for that.

Happy

Thanksgiving!

Thankful Days - Family & Friends

Today I'm thankful for my family and friends who have loved me through thick and thin. Today I literally mean, whether I was physically "thick" or "thin".

Growing up I have rare memories of being made fun of due to my weight, but I often noticed the difference between me and other girls and would be sad because of it. One place I never felt out of place due to my size was my home. It was made clear at home that I was loved for who I was, not what I looked like.

My mother also loved me enough not to let me eat anything and everything I wanted. Due to the fact that she would limit the amount of cookies I ate I was only a chubby child, never did I reach the obese range in my health. If I shared feelings about wanting to not be the chubby girl my mom would offer solutions to help me, but she never pushed the issue to the extent that made me feel like I wasn't good enough. It was a good balance.

As I grew up I used to wonder if any guys would ever like me. Hello, I knew they always liked my thin friends. I also knew that when I lost about 20 pounds doing Weight Watchers with my mom I suddenly got more attention. Thankfully, I wasn't so boy crazy as to solely base my life on whether someone liked me, but I was a teenager with my own hopes and dreams of getting married some day.

When I met my husband and he finally told me he liked me I was in awe. I told him I was awed that he would like me when there were other thin and pretty girls at the conference we'd met at. Again, I fell in love with someone who didn't base their approval or love of me on my weight. On our wedding day I was 5' 4" and about 170 pounds, and he made me feel like the queen.

Sadly enough, over the first year of our marriage I let my eating go out of control and gained the first 30 pounds that would take me away from 170 for years. I knew 170 was overweight, and I cried when I realized, somewhere near 200, I needed the "huge" size 20w jeans. Only one other time in all these years of being married have I reached 170 and had some control over my health. It was a glorious two years where I felt so much more alive, but you know what? My husband didn't love me any more for getting thin. When I gained it all back, and more, he still loved me and told me how beautiful I was.

Through all of this I've also had good friends who have loved me no matter what my size. My friend, Stephanie, whom you all met a few months back, has been my friend the longest now and she's always struggled with weight like I have. Though she kept much better reins on her health than I did as we became adults. Yet, though I got bigger in my 20's and she slimmed up she never commented on it.

I have other friends who when shopping together they were kind enough to not say anything when I had to look in the larger sizes. When I was losing weight, they cheered me on. If I was gaining back the 10-20 I lost they kept their mouths shut. I was never treated any different based on my size. My friends have been amazingly supportive in my weight loss journey now as well.

Another amazingly supportive group of friends in my life is my blog friends. I want to take this minute to thank Diane at Fit to the Finish and Lori at Finding Radiance for their support. These two ladies have been kind enough to answer some questions in email for me. They've shared wisdom and offered support over the past year when I might've already given up on someone like me.

Along with Diane and Lori I'm also thankful for my blog "friends" and readers. I started to write this blog to journal my weight loss journey. I know that seeing into the hearts and minds of those dealing with weight issues is very helpful to me, so I when I started my own journey I decided I would use my love of writing to share my own struggles and victories. The fact that people comment and are so supportive has been the proverbial icing on the cake. I'm always so thankful for the support that comes through comments left on my posts.

This weight loss journey of mine has truly been the start of a new me. It's not been easy, but the changes being made are deep. Ultimately, it's been up to me to make it all work and to see the weight come off. Yet, through it all this kind of undertaking does require some love and support.

So, again, I'm very thankful today for all the love and support I've received from my family and friends. Yes, support and love even back when I was heavy, because had I not felt love and acceptance back then, who knows if I would've ever felt confident enough to start this journey at all.

Thankful Days - Womanhood

Short Story: I'm going to write each day this week about something I'm thankful for. Today's choice is my monthly, but you'll have to read below to find out why. Scan about one-third or halfway down... or even the ending if you're really short on time. I understand. :)

Long Story:
Although Thanksgiving isn't until Thursday I'm usually beginning to prepare for it today. The house is getting cleaned up for company, laundry gets caught up so we don't have to be bothered when company is visiting and I'm making sure I've purchased everything for the Thanksgiving meal. Tuesday I'll enjoy the arrival of company and begin some baking. Wednesday there'll be a few more early cooking preparation, kids home and enjoying our company. Finally, Thursday will be the big day of cooking, visiting with family and enjoying some special foods that I only eat this one day a year.

This is one of my favorite holidays. First off, because I love to cook and set out that huge meal and watch others enjoy it. I've even learned how to enjoy it in moderation myself. I also love being reminded of all the things I'm blessed with in my life.

So, this week I will post each day about something I'm thankful for. I was beginning to get vexed the other day, but decided instead of stewing about things I can, or can not, control I will find the blessing in them.

My vexation began when I found myself mindlessly eating a few evenings. Each day I said I wouldn't do it and then even just last night I did it again. I felt rather out of control, and while I know my "binges" now are nothing like what I used to eat before they are still not healthy or necessary.

Suddenly it dawned on me that this urge for sweets, then salty, then sweet again was the habit of PMS in my life. When I began getting upset over a few things that weren't as big a deal as they seemed I took a look at the calendar.

Yep, I've a feeling I'm getting close to what we ladies delicately call "TOM" on our blogs - Time Of the Month. Joy. I envy those who have small, hardly noticeable monthlies, because mine comes in like a storm every month. I get very emotional, painful and lose most of my eating discipline (or so it seems) most every single time. [sigh]

But...today I've chosen to be thankful for this regular occurrence in my life.

I remember the arrival of my first "TOM". One of the first thoughts that went through my head was "Now I can have babies!!!". Yes, you can laugh, I'm laughing myself as I type. [giggle] I knew this necessary evil was required to fulfill my dreams of motherhood someday, so I was beyond thrilled when it finally arrived.

Well, my friends, God blessed me with three healthy, beautiful children within the first five years of my marriage.

My first pregnancy brought identical twin girls that were born completely healthy at 36 weeks. They were so healthy the pediatrician stood in the regular baby nursery while the nurse prepared beds for them. She was sure the preemies were going to the special care nursery that she had nothing ready and even argued with the doctor about where they needed to be. When he stood firm that there was no reason for them to go to special care we knew we'd been blessed with healthy babies.

Just under three years later a little boy joined our family. Again, perfectly healthy, and to my joy and surprise he nursed like a pro (this hadn't gone so smoothly with the girls). I was also able to have a VBAC with him, which was a blessing to me.

All my babies were happy and healthy babies, and so far we've enjoyed almost 13 years with the girls and 10 with our son. God has been so good to us, and it all started with TOM.

So, today I'm grateful for womanhood, more specifically TOM. It's not fun, and can be downright evil at times. I think it's actually one of the biggest demons we women fight in the midst of a weight loss journey. Yet, had it never arrived in the first place, or if it didn't work properly, I might not have been able to conceive and give birth to my three children. And they are a blessing I will never regret having in my life.

p.s. If you'd like to share something you're thankful for, feel free. If you'd like the little button I made for these posts, leave me a comment with your email address and I'll email it to you. I created it with a digital kit from Shabby Miss Jenn.

Hot 100 Update #8

Well, here is my update that I've put off posting all day. Why? Because I have only worked out one day this week and I showed a loss of 3.5 pounds yesterday. Something in me is having a hard time accepting this loss, because I feel like I didn't earn it.

I have been very busy this week, like on my feet a lot most days. Some days I chatted with friends long enough to miss time to workout and others I seriously didn't have the time to do it without getting little sleep I need my sleep, so I didn't exercise.

I know I was trying to be careful in some ways foodwise, because of the lack of workouts, so maybe that was good. I'm just really nervous that next week I'll maintain. However, I know that Thanksgiving is in a week, so I'm determined to stay within calories every day this week because I'll probably go a little over on Thursday.

Another reason I'm having a hard time with the weight loss is I can hardly believe that I'm in the 180's again. It's been so long and I have days where I can still hardly believe that I'm still losing weight. It's a miracle, folks. I still can't really think beyond the current day or I get really nervous I'll never make my goal....yet....

Here I am. I'm now half a pound away from the halfway point to my goal!!!

So, with all that jibber jabber done, on to my goals...be warned they are as colorful as the autumn leaves outside. :)

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). I am down another 3.5 pounds this week and it's the high point of my week. :) I looked over my weigh-ins from last month and from October 15th to now, approximately one month, I've lost 9.5 pounds. This is the most I've lost in a month in a LONG time. :) I think getting my rest, bumping up the water again and being careful with calories (because I knew I wasn't exercising) must've helped, because I wasn't expecting a loss like this with so little exercise. This puts me at 7.5 pounds lost so far this challenge. I should be anywhere from 4-12 pounds lost, so I guess I'm doing fine. :)

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. No. I might get a second one in tomorrow, but so far I've only exercised one day this week. It's been CRAZY busy and I just didn't have or didn't make time this week. I know I could've gotten a workout in earlier today, but I was in a creating mood and have been making digital scrapped stuff on the computer and then relaxing with a sick daughter all day. This WILL get back to normal next week.

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym. I believe I'll get there, and I know I'm well on the way.

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. Only about 4 out of 7 days. Finally got good on Wednesday and have done well since then. Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. No. I only journaled maybe two days this week. I did keep a decent running tally in my head daily, but that's not good. I just didn't take time to get things written/typed down.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. No, but I re-visted a blog I've started following since the challenge started. This is good. :)

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. I had one "foo-foo" drink this week, but it was a tall skinny vanilla latte, equaling 90 calories. I'm putting this at yellow since, yes, I had one, but no it wasn't the high-calorie one I used to buy in years past.

Hopefully this doesn't sound like an update full of lame excuses, it's just what my life has been like right now.

Thanks for checking in and I wish you all a wonderful weekend. I'll be busy getting that exercise in and preparing for out-of-town guests next week. :D

Throwdown Challenge ... Week #2

Hello...well, I came home from work early with a sick child so I am able to post earlier than I planned today.

**update**Barb's Total % was lost and I know I wouldn't want to have any more of a gain than necessary, so I updated our scorecard.**

By some miracle I am down a bunch this week and it puts me in the lead for our Throwdown Challenge.

This is a first for me, and I'm pleased. I'm also pleased that Barb is not giving up! If you've followed my journey for any length of time you know that not giving up is the only way I've made it this far in my weight loss journey.

So, I wish her the best this next week leading up to Thanksgiving. I'm keeping a little luck myself, because she said she's competitive and now she's more encourage than ever to do well. I wouldn't doubt it.

Having a larger loss this week makes me think it could even out next, but who knows?!? I've surprised myself so far in this challenge, so I might just keep dropping the pounds. LOL

Happy Thursday everyone! :)

p.s. Yes, I'm a digital scrapping geek and just had to make a scorecard..I couldn't resist. *giggle*