This week's Weight Watchers meeting highlighted the topic of loving your body as it is. We took a little quiz to see where we fall on the scale self-love. I fall in the neutral category. There are things I wish were nicer about my figure, but parts I like as well.
To sum it up... I don't hate my body.
I don't not wear a swimsuit because I can't look "magazine perfect" in one.
I don't not participate in activities because I'm overweight.
And you know what? I never did not do those things when I was 232 pounds either.
Maybe it was because I have great friends and family who never treated me less because of my weight, or maybe it was because I have this great mindset that I'm not letting my weight stop me from enjoying life. Who knows?
One thing I do know is when I saw this post by Kiki at Eat More 2 Weigh Less I thought, "Exactly!"
Not because I have ever truly hated my body, but because I sure have hated myself for feeling like such a failure when I gained weight.
I've always said my weight loss journey didn't really begin in May 2009 when I started changing my habits, but it truly began the summer prior when I made the mental change to love myself "if I never lost another pound".
That change in mindset took me from feelings of failure to freedom. I learned grace for myself. I came to accept I have certain genes which prevent me from ever being like the petite, slim older woman I walked by yesterday who looked so smart in her summery business attire...for example.
And when I am struggling with weight issues, while I get vexed when clothes don't fit correctly, the bigger struggle for me is the mental fight.
For me, It's a fine balance between admonishing ones self to better self care and falling into a pit of rejection.
So, while I encourage you to live your life to the fullest and don't wait for the smaller sizes to enjoy the life you're blessed to live, I'm going to keep working on accepting my faults and failures mentally and plow ahead to live a healthier life.
Because as always...I'm never giving up.