Today's Weight: 181 . 0
Loss/Gain: +2 . 0
Total Loss So Far: -50 . 0 lbs
**It's a long one, but I have to get it out...no short story today**
Okay, I think it's time to explain something, but before I do let me say that I'm glad I can still say I've lost 50 pounds. That is my silver lining on this grey cloud called a weight gain.
I've put off sharing something I'm going through for fear it would come out sounding like an excuse. Yet, I'm seeing such an impact on my life, my habits and my weigh-ins that I think it's time to explain.
Most of you know my husband is graduating in June from dental school. Yes, eight long years of schooling, half of our married life, is finally coming to an end. Anyone who has planned a graduation understands all that it entails. Plus, he has a million last minute things to tie up (that weekend exam was one) and I'm trying to keep things going while watching him stress more than ever before. It's high school graduation times a lot more stress, because he has things to finish before receiving that DDS and thus be able to start work in July.
On top of that is the fact that we are moving out of state after he graduates.
He is going back full time into the Navy (Yes,he'll be a dentist in the Navy.) and we are being based somewhere else. So added to his graduation is many lasts that come with moving. The kids are finishing up at their schools. There are final performances, soccer games, parties and farewells with friends we've come to know and love, etc. etc.
As much as I've tried to deny it I've finally had to admit that all of this change and planning and preparing for movers is really stressing me out at times.
I'm a fairly strong girl, but one thing I've really learned in this weight loss journey is I'm full of insecurities. They are being worked out little by little and I'm so glad for that. I never dreamed embarking on my last weight loss journey would bring about so much change in myself emotionally, but it has.
I'm grateful for the change and it's why I'm coming on here to share this stressful time in my life and to commit to something.
The old Leah would've declared it too stressful to worry about my health and exercise and put it off until after the move. In fact, last week I worked three days and spent the other two getting laundry done, running errands, getting groceries and then cleaning out our filing cabinet and working on projects for teacher gifts. It was a very productive week and I allowed myself not worry about exercise.
But I missed exercise. Terribly.
Oh, I've had my moments where I thought I could easily announce I'm taking a hiatus from weight loss and exercise until we are settled again. I know everyone would understand. But I just can't bring myself to do that. We're planning a two week road trip after we've moved out of our house, so that would mean about two months off if I took a hiatus starting today.
Not going to happen.
So, I've taken some time to think about my priorities during this stressful time. Before any to-dos that need checking off there are two things I've decided I will not give up:
- My devotional time of prayer and Bible reading.
- Regular exercise, minimum 30 minutes 4-5 days a week.
I talked to my husband about it, because honestly the thought of fitting in exercise was adding to my stress. However, more than stressing over fitting it in was stressing about what would happen if I didn't do it.
There's a much higher chance of not losing another pound before we move (or gaining..ACK!) and I might start losing the toning I've gained through regular exercise. The latter thought scares me the most.
Yes, I've lost my 50 pounds v.e.r.y. s.l.o.w.l.y. but I refuse to give up what I have accomplished thus far for a stressful move. I'm not going to lose that weight again. I'm am going to fight. I'd even like to show a loss between today and the day before the scale is packed up. I have just under six weeks.
So, I will continue trying to work at making myself behave where food is concerned and I will fit in regular exercise 4-5 days a week. I've decided if I'm really busy I will allow myself to settle for a quick, brisk 30-minute walk in the neighborhood or 30-minute DVD. No matter what though I will do something.
I know some of you will tell me it's okay to take it easy, so let me tell you that we figured out an area I will take it easy in. I am no longer working. I decided not to substitute this last three weeks of school. So, that's where I will ease my stress a bit and it's already working. :)
Thank you for
listeningreading and I hope this will shed some light on things.
I'm a new Leah now and a Leah that knows she'll get more done and feel better if she takes care of herself. I just has to stay focused and push myself instead of opting for the easy way out. And I will.
As I always say, it's not over. I won't quit and darn it I'll reach that goal weight some day... "if I have to lie, cheat, steal or kill..." okay, not really, but you get my point. :)
Have a great weekend!