"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Friday, June 18, 2010

Weigh-In ... Summer Challenge Ending

Today's Weight: 205.0
Loss/Gain: +5.0 lbs
Total Loss So Far: -26.0 lbs

When 205.0 stared up at me this morning I just started crying. So very frustrated. These thoughts went through my head:
  • What?!?!?! Yes, all week the scale has been a bit over 200, and even though I'm not sure why it hasn't shown 205 since my weigh-in two weeks ago. In fact, it was just 201.5 yesterday.
  • I have been tracking all my food using Lose It! on my iPod Touch for over two weeks and I ate less this week than last...but I show a GAIN???
  • Wednesday night when everyone got Sonic I declined and settled for a greek yogurt and some Triscuits when we got home. I had room for a snack on my calories, so I chose a healthier option. For what again?
  • I wasn't as diligent with the water, but the last two days I have been...and yesterday I drank 128 ounces of water...again, for this to happen??
  • This is stupid. It seems like I tried to be diligent and it only ruined me.
  • I need to stop crying and just get ready for my day.... I won't give up, but this is the absolutely worst weigh-in I've experienced in my weight loss journey, and I'm so embarassed, especially because it was the week I really began to fine tune things. I'm so confused and frustrated.
I went on to get ready, didn't cry any more, made my coffee and sat down to do my devotions. I was very distracted by this, but I got through that.

Folks as if I don't have enough going on in my life right now to stress me out I had to add a HUGE gain after a week of eating less. The last time I was up I knew exactly why. I had eaten beyond full all that week and not exercised once.

I have only been over my daily calorie budget of 1,318 one day this week, but last week I was over it SIX days (and higher the week before, so last week I saw a 5-lb loss). This last week I actually had a daily net under my budget on the days I worked out - that is to say that I might have been right on budget or just over, but after the program deducted what I burned in exercise I ended up under my daily allowance.

So, needless to say I'm a bit frustrated and truly at a loss here. I'm not sure if I ate too little this past week, or just having those moments where I didn't eat when hungry and then ate a larger meal was counterproductive, or not getting 64 oz. of water in daily affected me, or is this like week 2 of The Biggest Loser wherein most contestants maintain after having a large loss?

I'll keep plugging away and make myself take this weigh-in with a grain of salt. It's one week, it's not my entire journey. I have to take the little bit of mustard seed faith I have left in myself and do what I know to do to see my weight go down. It's not over folks.

Oh, but one thing that is over for me is being a part of the Summer Challenge. One of the requirements is to get a picture of the scale at weigh-in and I just haven't been getting that done. I'm still setting myself a goal of losing ten pounds and exercising at least four days a week through the summer, but I need to back off being officially involved in a challenge right now.

Thanks for bearing with my long posts recently. I know it's a lot to take in, but this blog is mostly an open-book journal for me to get my thoughts out and share them with you in case they might help you in some way.

I hope you have a nice weekend! I'm off to clean house, drop girls off for volunteering and get my mind off of my weight for the moment.

7 comments:

  1. I'm sooo sorry. It just isn't fair that our bodies don't do what we know they should be doing. This is when you really have to put the scale away and concentrate on doing all the things you know to do. The things you are doing right now. You know the scale will go back down, but standing on it every day probably isn't good for you emotionally.

    You can do this Leah. You have had a great week, that's what matters.

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  2. If you remember, something else that causes gains on TBL is stress. You mentioned your Mom starting chemo in a post earlier and your brother dealing with illness also (both of them and you are in my prayers), on top of a lot of digging down deep into your feelings with food and weight loss. All of these things are unbelievably stressful. I truly believe the whole stress theory after the last 6 or so weeks that I have had myself.
    Go easy on yourself and things will start going the way they are supposed to again, and sooner than later. Hugs to you.

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  3. I'm sorry about the weight gain. I know that it's frustrating and makes things feel even worse. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. :-)

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  4. I always feel like that...if I gain, then the hard work isn't worth it! I've been having a pity party for myself today (PMS for me). But, remember to follow your own advice you gave to me- don't give up. You can do this.

    I have a friend who has lost 3 clothing sizes without using a scale. I wonder if she's onto something. She says it is the best thing she's ever done for weight loss. She is no longer focused on the scale, but on how she feels. Hmmm.

    You know, skinny girls say, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." Are they sure? I really love good food! :)

    Hang in there sweet friend!
    J

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  5. I had the very same thing happen to me this morning. After reaching 159.5 yesterday morning after a long, long time in the 160's, I was so excited. This morning, it was up 3 pounds. I have absolutely no idea why. Like Diane said, all we can do is keep doing the things we are doing because we know they are right. Hang in there - it'll happen for both of us.

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  6. I can suggest that maybe the stress you are going through is adding to the scale, are you getting the sleep you need (another big factor). It really sucks when we do everything possible and don't see the results, chin up girl, you CAN do this!
    I will be back to read your other two posts I'm looking forward to them.

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  7. 201.5 yesterday, 205 today

    The scale deceives: you have not gained 4.5 pounds of fat in one day. Impossible. IMPOSSIBLE...especially after the great stuff you have been doing. It may be 4.5# of something, but it isn't fat. Okay? OKAY?! oKAY. :)

    I'm glad you're venting in your post. Then you can release it and let it stay in your blog, freeing your mind for other matters. (And if all else fails, you can still turn on some fun music and do a jig to boost you...or you could watch me -- that should make you laugh). (hug)

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