"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Thursday, August 12, 2010

My Heart Hasn't Been In It

It's kind of funny, but before I posted yesterday I had already begun thinking about what needed to change to see me start losing weight again. Then Lori, from Finding Radiance, left a comment with a little something for me to think on.

She said, "Maintaining is not necessarily a bad thing, but it also is a good idea to really find out exactly why you maintained and what might be a solution to do that little extra bit to get things moving again. If it was emotional, what were the emotions and how did you react to them?"

So, last night I read over my posts from May, June and skimmed over the posts in July. Reading over them confirmed some suspicions I had about what needs to change. It wasn't easy to face at moments, but while I know I've made some awesome strides forward in my thoughts I also know there's one fact I keep avoiding.

While I've wanted to be thin and healthier, I haven't wanted to do the work necessary to see the weight come off.

There I said it. I could say a lot more (ask my husband and friends who I've confided in about this subject) , but I'll leave it at that for now.

To sum it up I was reminded of a part in the movie Fireproof where Caleb, the husband who is reading The Love Dare tells his friend or father (I can't remember), "Up until now my heart hasn't been in it."

I am not discounting every struggle I've journaled about on this blog, nor every non-scale and small scale victory. However, I have reached a point where I have to be very honest with myself about some very real issues that affect every area of my life, including my weight loss. If I don't, I won't go forward.

So, please bear with me as I either post or don't post while I go through this. I refuse to give up on myself and think that I can't do better, so I have to press through this time of change.


  1. Honesty....thanks for sharing it with us. Blessings to you!

  2. There is so much of a difference in going through the motions, and going at something whole-heartedly. I can really understand where you are right now -- I have been there for a while myself. Like someone told me once, "If you have a wall that seems to big to hurdle, throw your heart over it, the rest of your body will follow."

  3. I can definitely relate to this one! I think the difficulty is that maintaining weight is not too bad once the lifestyle changes are in place. Losing weight, on the other hand, requires work. And there are times when we have it in us and times when we don't. I hope your time comes this fall (and mine too!)