Loss/Gain: +4.0 lbs
Total Loss So Far: -35 lbs
Baffled. Frustrated. Upset. Tearful. Those are the words that explain how I feel this morning.
I was not surprised, because I got on the scale a few days ago and was surprised at what I saw. So, I started watching the scale daily and it crept up another pound. I was very baffled and spent time last night looking over my food journal to see what went wrong. I compared to other weeks. The only huge difference is that I haven't been able to get to the gym in almost two weeks now. I have had "high" days in the past, but it has not ever caused this kind of gain.
So, I'm still very baffled by it. I will be honest that I have so much going on right now that I don't have time to spend crying about it, but it's all I've wanted to do all morning. I know that the belt has needed tightening in certain areas, but when those areas never caused a gain of this magnitude in the past it's very frustrating.
Also, no matter what we say about it only being a number on the scale it is a number that is frustrating when you feel like you've really been making strides in your weight loss journey. If it was just a number then I wouldn't be allowed to rejoice so greatly when I saw 192. So, it does have significance in my journey, but now I have to let it go and get on with my day.
To top off how vexed I am to be up to a number I haven't seen in over a month it's compounded by the fact that I'm in the Hot 100 Challenge. My #1 goal in this challenge is to see weight loss. All my other goals are pillars I want cemented in place to support that goal. Three weeks and a weight that is higher than when I started isn't conducive to feeling very victorious. But I will keep going, because I've come too far to give up.
To keep going I have to post my update, so here goes....
WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week. No. I am now officially higher than when I started.
EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. I don't have time to visit blogs and focus on the Beck book, so I'm switching it up for the challenge. Done. I visited a few different blogs this week. Some are at goal and were encouraging and some are fighting the fight like me.
HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Done. Only regular coffee the one time I went to Starbucks this week.
Well, while I like red and yellow in falling leaves this time of year, I don't plan on sharing those colors every week on this challenge. For now I have to leave my blog and get my mind onto other projects that await me this weekend. I've had a few moments where I allowed myself to cry. I've prayed for guidance on how to handle this and I know God has brought a peace of mind to me. I will remind myself that I need to just keep going, get with the program and remember that God doesn't allow me to go through anything I can't handle.
I will keep going, because I know I've come to far to quit. And if the scale is still up after a great week next week, then I'm buying a new one. :)
Have a nice Friday everyone and have a great weekend! I hope you are all having some nice, autumn weather. We surely are!!