Today's Weight: 187.0
Loss/Gain: +/- 0.0
Total Loss So Far: - 44.0 lbs.
This past week has been very interesting. I appreciate all the comments about how to deal with sweet cravings. I have to say though that I haven't been craving sweets - just food. Wednesday and yesterday I finally felt like I was getting back to my normal self. So, this is good...and probably why I have a maintain instead of a gain.
When I say I wanted to quit I'm very serious. I'd had it with myself and my weight yesterday. I had two meltdowns yesterday where I was in tears with thoughts of..
- It's not fair!
- I'm tired of fighting this battle!
- I'll never learn!
- I'll never be thin!
- I'll never overcome this issue in my life!
- I'm probably fighting something that's just meant to be..a chubby Leah.
The second meltdown came right before bed and my husband talked with me about it (love dat man!). I had already talked to my good friend and weight loss support friend, Stephanie, earlier and thought I was over it, but apparently not. He listened, supported, blessed me with comments of how proud his is of me (more loving him...) and shared his words of wisdom.
Through my tears of frustration I told him, "For the first time in a LONG time I just want to quit, but I know that would be dumb. I can't quit and I won't."
So that's where I am today. I am very grateful for this maintain instead of a gain that I was expecting, and I'm not going to quit...to borrow the colloquialism... even if it kills me. =)
(Which we all know it won't, because being healthy and fit never hurt anybody. *sheepish grin* )
I woke up struggling today too. I even cried a little...ashamed to admit that but don't know why. It is hard. It is work. It is going to take a long time. My attitude is down today...what caused this change? I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, I'm cheering for you!
J
Take it from someone who quit many times before she was completely successful. You don't really want to quit. Quitting isn't going to get you the results you want. I can guarantee that! :) Keep trudging along. You'll get there!
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky you have such a supportive husband :)
ReplyDeleteI know, it is so hard when you feel like you've got so long to go and each day seems so long and so many decisions to make. You'll see in my post this morning about how last night and this morning I was off-plan and it is so easy to think that - gosh, I've already blown it for the week and no way I am going to see a loss next week so I should just give in, or 'Okay, because of last night and this morning, even if I track as well as I did this past week I am still going to just see a maintain'
But a maintain is still better than a gain :)
Sometimes your body just fights change. I'm so glad you're blessed with a supportive husband. You've accomplished so much. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh Leah - you are so honest. You express what I would venture to guess that every single person who has more than 10 or 20 pounds has to lose feels. It is hard to not give up when you still see more pounds that need to come off, and seem to be sticking like glue. This is when the support and love of your family and friends helps - but the final decision is yours. It's not easy, but you are strong enough to finish what you started - no matter how long it takes! You can do this!!
ReplyDelete