Note: This is a pretty blunt, honest post about my week. I didn't take time to clean it up too much as I have had a busy day, but I needed to get it out. It's not an excuse, but rather a confession that I still have work to do ....
My mom was here visiting, but that wasn't a problem as she's very supportive of my healthier lifestyle and made it a point to not try and steer me astray.
However, last weekend and earlier in this week I was reading and looking into how to handle a running knee injury. Yes, my right knee was feeling kind of jelly'ish. Not painful, but different. To sum it up I was worried. I love the running and the strong feeling I get when I'm finished, but I have always said that I will not keep doing it if it causes major injuries. While this wasn't even a painful situation warning signals went up to change what needed to be changed so I didn't end up with pain in that knee.
After lots of reading I saw that I was doing what I was supposed to do to run safely, but the sensation in my knee still scared me and by Tuesday I realized I was really worried about not being able to run anymore. Shoot. I was worried about not being able to work out hard at all anymore.
And that made me sad, and frustrated.
In fact, I had to take a moment and just let it all out with some tears and asking God to help me know what to do. Then I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, or running shoe laces, and decided I would not be ruled by my emotions. I would be careful, learn that athletes endure injuries but they don't quit and I would keep going. I have iced my knees daily and done my workouts pushing myself only as hard as I felt my knee could handle. I have a longer run coming up on Saturday and I still have the 10K to run in May. I think I did push myself a little too much with the running, or should've been icing after the long runs because they are the hardest I've ever done, so I've learned something about all of that throughout the week.
Unfortunately, looking back I was eating a bit out of control all week while dealing with this knee tenderness and it will show up on the scale tomorrow. After this bit of introspection I think I was eating weird because I let my mind get overwhelmed by the emotions that surrounded the tenderness in my knee. Then I hated myself each morning that I stepped on the scale and saw it going up.
I'm bugged, but I've also decided that it's one week in the course of my life and if I learned something this week, then that is good. Now I've blogged about it, so that I can come back and remind myself that I do have emotional eating moments and I still need to work on that and remember that falling off a healthier eating plan when stressing out is never the answer. I think it's also safe to say that stressing out over minor issues instead of just plowing ahead and doing what the professionals say to do is not good either. Be conscious and careful, but not worried sick like I was. *sigh*
Goodnight. :) I'll be back tomorrow to report the damage.
Leah~ I so appreicate your honesty. It's so hard to be doing the right thing (running) and ending up in a worse spot than when you started. I will join you in praying for clear direction for you in the exercise deptartment.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. I am just overcoming a foot injury (still not sure what the exact injury was). I couldn't bring myself to run for almost a week and the week after that was spotty bc of pain. Now, I am better and back to running. During the down time, I got so frustrated and upset with myself for getting injured while running, that my eating started to spiral out of control. I have tried to adopt the mind set that you have...it was only 1 week out of my life. In a few months, this week will not matter. It would not have made a difference. The only way this week will matter is if I don't get back to eating right. Better to stop the behavior as soon as you can. It sounds like you figured that out and are doing great! Listen to your body and you will prevent injuries. I pushed a little too hard, too fast and didn't listen to signs my body was yelling. Luckily, I caught it before it could have gotten worse though.
ReplyDeleteRegina
This fear is so normal Leah- at least in my experience. I too get nervous when I have an injury because the last thing I want to do is either gain weight or not be able to exercise again. It sounds like you did a lot of good emotional work to identify what was going on.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side - about two years ago you might have used that feeling in your knee to say, "Oh well - no exercise or dieting for me anymore." Now that bothers you. You have changed your attitude!