Weigh-In - Final Hot 100 Update

Today's Weight: 191.0

Loss/Gain: +5.5 lbs

Total Loss So Far: -40 lbs.

Well, I think this is the largest gain I've seen in one week in the history of my weight loss journey. My only consolation is it's a pounds lighter than what I saw Monday morning.

Overindulging on Christmas weekend + PMS + TOM - any heavy exercise = large gain.

I'd be lying to say I'm not a tad bothered by the gain, but honestly more than that I don't really care. I know what caused it and I know I've plans to get back on track. Next week will see some of this weight gone. :)

Now on with my final Hot 100 Challenge update. I have to tell you that the most interesting thing to me about this final update is that I fully expected to have lost more weight and I did not expect at all to meet my fitness goal. Weird.

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). No. I'm officially only down three pounds from the beginning of this challenge. Next time I'd better lose a lot at the beginning to allow room for a gain. sheesh... I think knowing I have shown a net loss of three pounds over the last 14 weeks is the part that is really bugging me about this 5.5 pound gain..*shaking head*

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. No. Only worked out two days this week. Got busy, when TOM arrived I just didn't care any more. Decided to skip and start new next week.

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym.Done!!!!!!!!!!!! My one major victory of this challenge. :)

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. 4-5 out of 7 days (another reason for more gain I'm sure...)Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. No. I think I only journaled one or two days. As I said, I just didn't care as much this week...

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. Yes and No.

I kept up on the new ones I started watching at the beginning of the challenge.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Yes, even though twice I told myself this week I was going to have a non-fat white chocolate mocha. Both times I said I was going to have one I got full from dinner or lunch and decided I didn't feel like having it any more. I might have one today, but we'll see...lately anything that sweet just doesn't appeal to me any more. I guess this would be another great victory in my life. :)

I will be back (maybe tomorrow) to let you know of some plans I have set in motion to help kick start my 2011 goals. While I'm embarrassed of this gain and the lack of great weight loss during the challenge I am confident that I will see good losses from here on out. Remember..I'm determined. :)

Have a safe and happy New Year's everyone!

Determination

Last night at church my pastor preached on where we plan on going with our lives in the new year. He asked the congregation "Where are you going?" He was not speaking of eternity, but where we are planning to go with our lives here on earth. Are we going to settle, or are we going to strive to be better.

He mentioned that determination plays a big part in whether or not we make it. This struck a chord with me and put me to thinking more on the subject as I got ready for bed. Not only did I apply this sermon to my spiritual life, but to my weight loss journey as well. I even looked up the word determination on my iPod touch in bed to remind myself of exactly what that meant. I found the following:

DETERMINATION:

–noun

1.

the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose

the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose

fixed direction or tendency toward some object or end.

So, as I lie there I began thinking...

Where am I going this year with my weight loss journey? Will I have the determination to get there?

I don't believe much in making New Year's Resolutions, especially when it comes to weight loss because I've failed so often in the past, but this year I'm setting two goals. They are goals I've been thinking about setting for the last month, so really nothing new to me. Since I have a lot coming up in the next day (my twins' birthday is tomorrow - the 31st) I decided to post it now.

In 2011 I will

1. Reach my goal weight of 130 lbs, or as close to it as possible. If I hit 135 and get stuck, then I'm okay with settling there. It puts me in the middle of a healthy range with room for movement. I'm okay with that. :)
2. Run a 5K in less than 35 minutes. I call this a "normal" time. My first 5K took me 43:44, great for a 200-pound girl, but I want to sail smoothly along by the end of 2011 instead of trudging along. :)

Determination is going to play a huge part in these goals, especially #1. It's taken me one and a half years to get halfway to my goal weight. I've come a long way, but now I'm ready to take it up a notch and finish what I've started.

My 2010

Foreward

Last night I found myself pouring a small cup of milk and starting to open yet another Reese's mini peanut butter cup. I knew I was above calories for the day, not even hungry and yet I was about to eat more junk. I also knew that my scale has been up a good five pounds so far all week. As I touched the sweet to my lips I stopped, I folded it back up and started to cry. I knew I didn't really want that junk and I was frustrated with myself. My only consolation was that I poured out the milk and did not eat the minis. A small victory!

Just before bed TOM made it's appearance and everything clicked. It didn't make me feel any better, because whether I like it or not my emotions do not always allow my mind to think properly during this time. This was apparent when I woke up deciding I wouldn't workout at all because "Who cares?!?! I'm up and the challenge is ruined already!!" I only wanted to come on here and complain, but I decided not to let my emotions rule my day. So, the following post was born... (Oh, and now I'm off to do a workout DVD, because if I've learned anything this year it's that I won't quit).

It seems to be that time of year to look over the past year to applaud accomplishments and see what things we'd like to change for the better. My only weight loss related goals for 2010 were to continue to see weight loss and to run a 5K without walking.

I did both. I'm twenty pounds lighter than I was a year ago and I ran my first 5K back in April.

That's about it for the outside accomplishments. However, there have been accomplishments on the inside that I am grateful for even if they weren't fun in the process. While 2010 has been one of the hardest years of my life it has also been one of the most rewarding years of my life.

The hardest part was watching both my brother and mother get diagnosed with cancer last spring. From March on I began to go an emotional roller coaster ride I've never ridden before. Thankfully, they are both alive and healthy and with us today. So I'm very grateful to a happy ending to a rough year as far as my family goes.

Through all of my family's illnesses I've also been dealing even more strongly with some emotions that have made up a huge part of my weight issues. I've reached in and forced myself to take a good look at things that need to change in my heart and some expectations that were so unreal they would never be met and thus I'd never be happy.

Most of these emotional struggles had nothing to do with my weight, but upon introspection they had everything to do with it. This time of introspection and emotional housecleaning of sorts has also been very tough at times, but the outcome has been worth it.

The most rewarding part of this year was the great changes I have felt in my thought processes regarding weight and acceptance, to put it very generally. I feel that I am finally "getting it" as far as weight loss goes. My desires are changing in ways I have fought against over the past year and a half. Ask Diane or Stephanie. :) I think they've both been waiting for me to realize that it's all for the best, and probably wanting to slap me into submission many times in the process.

But I get it folks.

• I feel better when I eat more nutritious foods.
• I also feel better when I allow myself a treat here and there (or even a burger here and there), because I know I'm not deprived.
• I feel better when I exercise, and even more so when I push myself in ways I thought I wasn't capable of.
• I feel better when I'm not stuffed into my clothes and can walk around feeling strong instead of fat and defeated.
• I feel better when I see that scale go down and realize I really can do this.
• I feel better knowing I am overcoming years of fear of rejection and acceptance, which I'm learning were very closely linked to my weight issues.
• I feel better knowing I will never give up on my weight loss journey.
• I feel better knowing My New Ending is really happening.

Yes, my 2010 was one of the hardest years of my life, but it has also brought about in me some of the most profound changes that I know will only help me have better years ahead. I still see lots of room for improvement in my life, and for this blog ... my health, but I know I can do it - 2010 proved that to me.

Beware the Gain

I just have to pop in here and say....if a person is going to allow himself/herself to overeat during the holidays he/she must beware of the gain and be ready to face it.

Oh my. Ahem, there is quite the gain showing on my scale today.

I'm not upset by it (no beating ourselves up, remember?) except for the fact that if I can't make it a smaller gain by Friday my Hot 100 Challenge is going to not have really good results in the weight loss area. oh darn.

In any case, I did exercise yesterday and I'm getting the eating back in order. Things will be fine eventually. :)

Have a great day!

A Healthiness Christmas

I'm so excited to come back and tell you about my Christmas.

Let me start by saying that my title does in no way describe the food I've consumed in the last 48-72 hours. I have enjoyed lots of treats and foods over Christmas and the day after. I have also been reminded two nights in a row why I don't eat that much anymore. Both quantity and type of food left me not feeling my best. So, I'm done with the celebratory foods and on to the fun stuff....

First off, you remember my husband was doing my stocking this year, right? He did good. There was a little candy and then granola bars, a fruit & nut mix, 100-calorie packs of almonds and a giftcard to Subway. Go Luv!!! I was very pleased with his stocking stuffing abilities, and even more so that he honored my wishes for a healthier stocking.

Those are not the only wishes he granted this year....

This is the face of a woman who was totally thrilled with her Christmas gift from her husband this year, because it was......

A GARMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can tell that I was and still am totally excited by this gift. Not only because it's like a very cool tool for running, but because it also showed me that my husband has confidence in my running abilities and desire to get better.

HE THINKS I CAN DO THIS!!!

I know you understand that having someone that dear to you believe in your weight loss journey is huge. I am so pleased that he would invest that kind of money in my weight loss journey. It's one thing to say, "You can do it!" and another thing entirely to say "I know you can and I'm going to help you by giving you this."

Speaking of dear people who believe in the journey...

I also got an email last week informing me that my friend Stephanie has ordered this for me for Christmas:

Folks, I announced to my family after receiving her gift and the Garmin...

I AM A REAL RUNNER NOW!!!!!!

LOL ~ Of course, this sounds so silly to me, being I'm still halfway away from my goal weight and "running" at barely 4.8 mph for 30 minutes, but nothing makes a person feel more confident than those types of gifts.

It was a wonderful day and I'm very excited to see what this next year holds for me.

Weigh-In ... Hot 100 Update #13 & Christmas Miracle

Today's Weight: 185.5

Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs.

Total Loss So Far: - 45.5 lbs!!! HALFWAY to my goal!!!!!!!

Yes, I'm a little excited about seeing a two-pound loss the week before Christmas. The best part, and my little Christmas miracle I wanted to tell you about, is that it wasn't that hard.

This year I've noticed that my desires are not to stuff myself with every special treat that only come around once a year. Yes, sweet goodies have sounded good, and yes I've eaten some, but I haven't felt like all I want is to indulge. I can't explain it except to say that it's proof real change is happening in my life.

This is a small miracle to me and something I'm very grateful for it.

Now on to my Hot 100 Challenge update:

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). I am down two more pounds this week, which puts me at 8.5 pounds lost so far. According to my goal, I'm still okay. :)

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. 3/4 done and a DVD workout is on my schedule for today. Was going to put this in red in case I ran out of time, but decided that was quitting. I will get this done. If you wonder...check back tonight and I'll confess if I did or not. :) *update.. YES I got that 4th workout in!!*

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym.Done!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!! I completed this last week and was able to jog at that pace two more times after that one day. =D

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. Done . Been getting 64+ in daily. :)Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. Yes, though I had more than one high-calorie day this time, but it all got tracked.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. Yes.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Partially done. Last Friday night I shared a grande non-fat white chocolate mocha with my girls and I had about 1/4 of it. All I wanted was the taste, so I had a few sips and was done. Yesterday I had a "foo-foo" drink, but it was a tall skinny hazelnut latte and I think that's fine under the terms of this contract since it was only 90 calories.

As I said earlier, I'm so very grateful for the miracle of change I've seen in my life this Christmas season. The skinny latte was more proof of that change. I didn't even want a white chocolate mocha, because I knew the cost of it and how rich it would be. It was not worth it to me any more, my health and weight loss goals were more important than a drink that had as many calories as a small meal. Amazing.

You know, this is just like the miracle of Christmas that is the birth of our savior. The angel told Joseph:

"And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins.” Matthew 1:21

God sent his son to earth to bring hope for all who are lost. For me, this includes a girl who was hopeless when it came to dealing with her weight issues. Gluttony is a sin, whether I want to admit it or not, and I'm so glad that Jesus was born to help me to deal with that issue as well. I'm still dealing with it, but thank the Lord that there is hope and peace available through Jesus.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and I pray that you find the peace and hope that come through Christ.

Christmas Ponderings

Hello! It's still busy, busy around here...so here's a few thoughts I've been having as Christmas gets closer.

• Puppy chow is the bomb!!! (as the kids say) I've never made it until this year and LOVE IT!!! But did you know that peanut butter-chocolate-buttery covered chex coated in powdered sugar is about 600+ calories for one cup?!? Yes, I figured this out so I could journal it. Now, I used real butter, so maybe margerine would lessen the calories some. Maybe. LOL Let's say I carefully enjoyed every little piece that went into my mouth, and thankfully I made it for our Children's Church kids, so only about one full cup stayed in my house. Good thing....
• Snacking has helped me stay on track this week. The good snacking, that is. I've kept blackberries in the fridge, Naked Juice drinks, fresh cheese and crackers and these cool (albeit processed) mini lunchables that are only 150 calories each in the fridge. Taking time to eat a small snack every couple of hours when I feel hungry has kept me from binging because I waited too long to eat.
• Water is my friend!!!!! I think I'm finally getting a good habit of drinking water. It's been easy to get 64 oz in daily, and many days I get more in. Yay!!
• Learning that you don't have to live up to all the expectations you set for yourself at the holidays is a great way to relieve yourself of stress. I was getting worried about some baking I hadn't gotten done, and then realized that every year doesn't have to be exactly like the year before. I take care of the basics, keep a good attitude and don't let the stress of not meeting last year's (or the proverbial "Jones' " ) standards keep me from enjoying Christmas preparations.

Okay, I'll stop there for today. I hope you are all enjoying your holiday preparations. I'll be back tomorrow morning with my weigh-in and update and then it will be a final greeting until after Christmas. A small little comment about a weight-related Christmas miracle for me.

For those that will be traveling before I update tomorrow... have a great Christmas!

Bread & Cookies, Oh My!

So last night we had an early dinner and I ate light, leaving myself some calorie room for a treat later. By 10:00, after we returned home from a church function, I was hungry again and, unfortunately, did not settle for maybe a small cookie and some hot tea. Nope. I had a small meatball sandwich on a nice, soft bolillo roll and then....two Hershey kiss cookies afterwards with half a cup of 1% milk.

Oh my!

I wasn't too stuffed when I got into bed, but when I made myself add all those calories into my journal I was kept thinking, "Well, so much for saying not to beat yourself up for what you eat during the holidays. Good grief, Leah!!"

When my stomach was growling I really just wanted something of substance, not a cookie. So I think the meatballs would've been okay, but I easily could've enjoyed them without the roll and still been under my calories for the day. I wasn't upset for eating when I was that hungry, only a little bugged that I went over by so much and for fluff foods. It was the roll and the cookies afterwards that spike me up another 400+ calories.

But today is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet (I think.. LOL) and I'm going to do my best to stay away from those extra things that can ruin a hard day's work. I can do this. First off I'm going to get that exercise done. Have a good day everyone! Here's to not beating ourselves up, but learning from what we do. :)

Two Sides to the Story at Christmastime

I've had the worst time getting a thought out correctly today...here goes yet another attempt. :)

First side of the story is this: I'm saddened by people who are beating themselves up on their weight loss blogs for eating things "off plan", seeing a slight gain or maintaining or not finding time to get in the exercise like they normally would.

Folks, it's a busy time of year. From extra baking, parties, gift purchasing, wrapping and even mailing, programs, the list goes on. For some, weight loss takes a back seat. If you have a slight gain or a maintaining type of backseat, then I think it's fine.

Don't beat yourself up for not living up to your normal standards of weight loss when you are so busy. It's not worth it to be stressed out over your weight during a wonderful time of year as this. Please, just keep in the back of your mind that you want to keep working on getting healthier and enjoy the season! As soon as the holidays are over you'll have plenty of time to get back into motion with the weight loss goals.

The other side of the story: For me I'm finally "getting it". My desires as to what I want during the holidays have changed greatly and I rejoice in this fact. I've had one too many high calorie days this week already, but I am still journaling all I eat.

I'd still like to see a small loss during December and I think I might. I'm enjoying baking, parties and the like, but I'm also making time for exercise at least three days a week.

Last year I think I all but gave up on exercise during Christmastime. I just didn't make time for it. This year I feel so much better getting that exercise in that I really am trying to do it when my time allows. Walking into the gym during December is a great feeling - like, "Yea, I'm trying to stay healthy during Christmastime!!"

To sum it up, let me say this... Yes, I'm working on trying to continue my good choices, tracking my food and the like, during the holidays, but if you aren't that's okay. I won't think any less of you if you indulge and quit exercising right now. I may blog about how good I feel about my different attitudes this holiday season, but if it's not your way lately that's fine.

We each have our journeys and I hope you don't lose the joy this season brings because you're too busy comparing yourself to others. It's not worth it. Please just keep your chin up and we'll enjoy hearing about your holidays and what your plans are for getting back on track after the holidays are over.

***BIG HUG***

One Bit of Red

I had to edit my update from Friday to note that I did not get that last day of exercise in yesterday. It was a busy day for us and it just didn't happen.

This week the exercise should be a little easier to get in, or at least I am not working, so that will help.

Weigh-In ... Hot 100 Update #12

Today's Weight: 187.5

Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs

Total Loss So Far: -43.5 lbs

Well, as many of you know my biggest happy moment this week was reaching my running goal of jogging at 4.8 mph on the treadmill for 25 minutes straight!! Today as I was jogging I realized that it's a good thing I reached this goal a little early, because I won't be going to the gym after next Wednesday. My husband is taking his final boards' exam on the 29th & 30th of this month and isn't around much to watch the kids unless absolutely necessary.

I won't keep you long as I'm sure you're all busy with holiday preparations. So, here's my Hot 100 Challenge update for this week:

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). I am down this week, which puts me just a pound above my lowest weight so far. Technically I'm doing well, because my minimum of 0.5 lbs a week would put me at 6.0 pounds lost so far and I've lost 6.5. yay..I guess. :)

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. *edited on Sunday* I did not get that 4th days of exercise in...was planning on it for Saturday, but something was added to my already busy day, so it didn't happen. It was a good reason to miss it, so I'm not too worried. Should be easier next week.

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym. Done!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!! I did this on Tuesday and am thrilled. Actually today I jogged 2.0 miles in seconds under 25 minutes, so I did this two times this week. SO HAPPY!!!

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. Done . Been getting more like 96 oz in a day lately. :)Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. Yes.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. Yes.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Done. I've actually been ordering hot tea when I go now. My favorite is the Hot Cinnamon Spice, which you can only find at Barnes & Noble's Starbucks these days. Yum!

Do you see all that green?!? :) Just a little happy over here in Oklahoma! I tracked what I ate all week and stayed under or just at 1500 calories daily, with the exception of my one high day.

I've even allowed myself a cookie or some cinnamon roasted pecans here and there. I simply tracked it and fit it into my day. I also only had one cookie if I had one.

Funny how being careful shows on the scale, huh? =)

I'm planning to stay on track this week and see another loss before our day of festivities. Have a great weekend everyone!!

My Biggest Loser Confession

*Caution: I've wanted to get this off my chest for a very long time.*

Well, I have to admit that I watched every single episode of The Biggest Loser this fall. We don't have a television, so we watched them a day later online. It's only the second season we've ever watched, but I enjoyed it..most of the time.

My confession is that I have not liked Jessica (red from Arizona) or Elizabeth (yellow from the east coast) at all. They have irritated me. Mainly Elizabeth, because of her quitting attitude. Yet somehow she made it to the final four.

I have no really good reason for not liking Jessica, but she resonated the wrong way with me.

As for Elizabeth...

This is the critical, ugly Leah coming out, but I did not feel that Elizabeth deserved one bit to make it to the final four. She was up for elimination how many times???? [shaking head] She kept not giving it her all how many weeks??

Or did she?

This is the thought that is hard for me to handle, and why I must confess.

I have a feeling that the reason I didn't like Elizabeth so much is because I saw so much of myself in her. Now, I'm not that whiny one bit. For the most part I also don't try to act like I'm doing the best I can - I know when I'm not giving it my all - but I do see the need for someone else to push me, congratulate me and the slacking when I could do better in me.

Ada has been my hero on this show, but I think I'm more like Elizabeth than any of them and that bugs me. (Um, I think I see some of myself in Jessica too, so maybe that's part of my dislike for her.)

Argh.... If you know me personally, or even as personal as blog following can get, you might agree with my husband that I'm nothing like Elizabeth. But don't they say that the person you usually dislike the most is most like you?

*sigh* So, I while I have tried to be gracious with Elizabeth when watching the show, it's been hard.

There. That's my confession. I find so much inspiration from that show, but this season she really had me upset at times. I think, in a way, maybe it was a good eye opener for me as to how I've treated my weight loss journey.

While I know the changes I've made in my life are great and life lasting, I know I could do better. I will do better. And I guess I can be gracious enough to say that I was happy to see her comment during the finale that it's not over for her, she will keep working on it until she reaches her goal.

Me too, Elizabeth, me too.

My First Year As A Runner

One year ago on December 16th I posted about how I jogged my first mile all the way through. It took me 16 minutes and I was never so proud of a workout as I was that day.

I still can't tell you what spurred me to try running, but after seeing I could run a mile I decided to try more. I had caught the running bug.

In January I started the Couch to 5K running program and ran my first 5K in April. It was a turtle pace, but I jogged that entire 5K in 43:44.

On and off since then I've continued my running. Today I'm happy to say that I reached my running goal for the Hot 100 Challenge by jogging for 25 minutes straight at 4.8 mph. I actually felt like I was at a quick, easy pace for me for the first three quarters of the run. It didn't become really difficult until the last 5-10 minutes. By then I was almost done, so I knew I couldn't quit.

One year and twenty some pounds later and I've improved my running from a 16-minute mile to a 12:30-minute mile for two miles consecutively. Glory!!

With improvements like this I'll be quick as a cricket in no time! (Mom, that was for you... *grin*)

Have a great day everyone!!

Weigh-In ... Hot 100 Update #11

Today's Weight: 189.5

Loss/Gain: +/- 0

Total Loss So Far: -41.5

My weigh-in days are back to Fridays since the Throwdown Challenge. It will workout well because the Hot 100 Challenge last weigh-in will also be the last day of the year! :)

It's been an interesting week for me. Busy, a little stressed at moments and not the best in eating. Though I journaled daily I didn't not stay within weight-loss calories daily and it showed. I'm happy that I didn't see a gain, but I knew I would not see a loss.

Nonetheless, here's my update:

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). Maintained this week and now I feel like I'm falling behind. So, I'm not too pleased with my weight goal today.

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. Done!! I even got up an exercised early this morning before working today. Go me! I felt so good and was very happy that I didn't wait until Saturday to get that fourth day in.

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym.I'm really hoping so. I jogged one more day this week and it wasn't as easy as a month ago. I'm determined to get as close to 25 minutes at 4.8 mph as I can. :)

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. Done Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. Done, though my calories weren't weight-loss many days, so this is in yellow. It wasn't even sweets - just crackers and carb-o junk. hmm....I'll be working on this.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. Yes.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Done.

Have a great weekend and thanks for checking in!

An Epiphany?

It's late so I have to make this quick...

This week my husband and I have been talking about our health some more. We've also been talking about the health of our children, none of which are or ever have been overweight. He said after the first of the year he's heading back to the gym. I casually asked him if he'd consider being okay with me not buying any more soda for the house? He said that was fine, and "we can all just start ordering water at restaurants."

HUGE. Just HUGE, because there was a day he said, "I'll never quit drinking soda."

Now, he did say he might grab one at lunch or here or there once in a while, but he okay'd for me to quit buying it.

So, we told the kids we are going to try and eat better, not for weight, but for health, and we are going to stop buying soda. They seem okay with this.

I also suggested that maybe we would cut out chips, or limit it to one bag in the pantry at a time and only eating a serving at a time with a meal, not as snacks. My girls pipe up with, "We don't need chips." and my son is not paying attention.

I reassured them I'd still put candy in their stockings because they were only a little concerned about that. :) I also said that we would bake, but limit how much we ate.

The kids are totally into this, well, the girls are. My son hasn't commented much and I think he'll have the hardest time with the snacks. I know he'll get used to it, because I've never really allowed him to eat as much as he wants anyway.

These changes sound more drastic than they really are, but they are the ones we are committing to starting this week.

My epiphany in all of this?

I realized tonight these changes are going to require some responsibility on my part. I'm going to have to make sure there is fresh produce around for snacking all the time and not get lazy about cooking healthier meals.

And I can no longer hide behind my family as an excuse for not losing weight. If they are fine with no chips, crackers and soda in the house, then there will be no reason for it to be there. If my husband is willing to eat a little healthier, then I can no longer say that I will cook certain ways simply to please him.

Folks, this scares me. It scares me to think I have to come out of hiding and rise to the challenge that leading a good example will be at times. I can't expect them to stay away from junk if I'm dipping into it in secret.

It also scares me to think that now I need to learn how to be the "healthier mom". I believe all things in moderation are okay (read: I'm not cutting out desserts, but saving them for special time), but I'm wishing tonight I could have a cook here for a month to show me how to do this.

There's more to our healthiness conversations, but this is all I have time to share for now. It's a huge deal for me and I am going to face it and come out the victor. The first step is acknowledging it and realizing it's something I need to learn how to deal with.

Thanks for reading. :) G'nite all!

Happy Monday Thoughts

Some happy weight-loss related thoughts this Monday:

I no longer am double the weight of my almost-13-year-old twins! They weight just over 100 lbs. and I'm under half of their weight.

.....

I ran into someone at the store on Friday who used to walk regularly at a gym I went to. We commented on how we haven't been there in a long time, but I said my reason is because I have been going to the gym at the base. They both himmed and hawed about how they just got busy in the summer and hardly go anymore. It felt good to know that my not going to that particular gym since last spring was only the result of my changing gyms, not quitting my exercise. How many times have I been those ladies in the past? Lots.

.....

My slip is getting so big that it hangs and buckles under my skirts. It's starting to bug me, but it's also a fun reminder that I'm losing weight!!

.....

I only want one candy in my stocking ( a Reese's PB tree) and no more. My husband has agreed to do my stocking this year. (yay for him!) The fact that I'm not drooling over how much candy I can buy and eat is another sign of change in my healthiness attitude.

I'll stop there for today. I hope you're week is off to a good start. Maybe you can take a few minutes to stop and jot down some happy thoughts about your weight loss journey this week. If you feel you don't have any, then pick one unhappy one and see if you can turn that proverbial frown upside down.

That's what this is all about - one day at a time, one step at a time. Have a good one!

Vanity, Vanity

I had to stop in and say that I did indeed get my fourth day of exercise in today. We've had a busy and productive Saturday, and quite honestly I didn't want to workout. Well, I did want to workout because I knew I needed to and I would feel better if I did, but in all my vanity and laziness I didn't want to.

This morning I slept in a bit, worked on a computer project and then got ready to go out. I tell you truthfully that I felt I had gotten "cute" for my day of errands and a soccer game for my son and I didn't want to ruin that.

Sad (giggling), but true. Pure vanity.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "bling" type of girl, but it was a good hair day and Ih ad on my new cargo pants that make me feel slim and "cute". LOL I knew once I worked out I would be sweaty and looking more like cleaning house than out Christmas shopping.

I got over my vanity and did the 30-day shred. I sure do feel better now that I did it, so of course I'm glad I did. Now I can get dinner going, shower and relax for the evening. (still giggling)

See you on Monday!

Hot 100 Update #10

Well folks, we're entering into the last month of our Hot 100 Challenge. Now that my Throwdown Challenge is over I feel I can really concentrate these last four weeks on the Hot 100 and on meeting my goals.

This past week went horrible. I have to say that I ate fine at my Thanksgiving dinner, but the days following I fell into a slacker, sort of vacation mode that left me with a rather large gain. I'm a bit upset by it, but I know what went wrong and I will deal with that.

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). I am up 2.5 lbs this week. yikes. I know where I went wrong, so I am fixing that. I've decided that I will not be in the group of people who gains weight over the Christmas season this year. I'm determined to lose five pounds this month, and I'd really like to see how close to 180 I can get. We'll see... I'm typing this post while on an endorphin high from exercising, so I may be a bit optimistic at the moment. LOL

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. Three down and one scheduled for tomorrow.

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym. Today was my first day running in almost a month. It was hard, but I left with such an awesome feeling of accomplishment. I drove home thinking, "If I could just bottle up these feeling and sip on it all day..." :) It reminded me why I enjoy jogging. I get the hardest workout ever, but the best feeling of strength and accomplishment right afterwards that makes it all worth it. :)

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily.I think I've gotten this done four out of seven days. I honestly can't remember... Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. No. THIS IS MY PROBLEM and it will be fixed this week. I started journaling again yesterday.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. No. However, I am keeping up with a person I met through this challenge, so that is nice.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Done. I almost had one last night, because I wanted one and was going to not care about good choices until today. Then I realized that was kind of dumb thinking. I knew this would probably be the one thing I have managed to keep on top of in this challenge, so I didn't want to break my green color for my holiday goal. :) I'm adding to this holiday goal to actually see a loss this month.

So, there you have it. This past week I enjoyed some wonderful company with family and then let myself fall back into old habits without caring...until the scale went up. Well, I've realized that I can't be that nonchalant yet with my eating. So, yes I am very busy this next month, but I will be sure to journal daily and make those moments recording my food moments to also keep myself focused on my health goals during a season of baking and eating. :)

Have a great weekend everyone!

Throwdown Challenge - Results

As you can see I didn't have the best week. Barb and I both had mixed emotions about our final weigh-ins. See her thoughts here.

Part of me feels glad that I am still under 190. I also know this was a sort of "vacation" week for me, a major eating holiday and TOM arrived.

However, [long pause] I am not content with the results of this challenge, and I know where I went wrong. Thanksgiving and TOM really didn't affect my weight this week. By about Friday I was beyond the "I don't care." PMS munching. So, no excuses there.

Thanksgiving only affected it in that I didn't stay out of the cheeseball and crackers in the two days following Thanksgiving, until it was gone. Same with some desserts. Even so, I didn't eat a huge amount of food like usual at the meals, or even at dessert time. I was fine eating at the table. It was the snacking while standing in the kitchen that got me.

That same snacking and munching that happens during PMS weeks actually bothered me this week and I'd say, "Now, why'd you eat that, Leah??" Darn it. It's also the same reason I chose not to journal, which is the other major reason for this gain.

No one wants to journal food they've been eating while standing, walking around, etc. because it's usually hard to measure when it's a bite here and a bite there. It's also convicting to actually see in writing what's been going into the mouth. So, to not journal it is to not have to face it. Or so I thought.

I sure faced it on the scale. I had to face that apparently I still need to journal my food to stay on track eating wise. If I don't journal my food, then I need to be very careful about what's going into my mouth and I'm not doing so well with that yet. So, journaling keeps me in check. Then, at least if I want to have something I'm forced to face it right then and decide if I really want it. Some times I do, but more and more I don't want the snacky item when I realize what it's going to cost me in calories.

Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling now. I just don't feel like I can whine about this gain and say it was this great struggle to stay on track this week. I just didn't care to stop myself. I didn't want to lose weight more than I wanted to eat whatever I wanted, and I'm no longer content with that attitude in my life. It's selfish and not healthy. So, while I wish I was beyond this issue with food, I'm not and I must face that I can't get relaxed about my habits and see weight loss.

Finally, I'd like to thank Barb for this challenge. She really made me think, and honestly I wouldn't have been too upset about the weigh-in if I hadn't had to tell her. :) Something about having to email her and then put on that scorecard the truth that my loss dropped to a measly two pounds for the month was hard for me. It was hard in a good way and I'm grateful to her for that.

So, thank you, Barb, and thank you everyone for checking in on us and our challenge. I leave you with another one of my favorite quotes:

"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet."

(Anne of Green Gables)

Getting Back in the Mood

Happy December 1st!

I'm happy now anyway.... :P

I wasted my morning creating blog backgrounds for this and my family blog. Creating didn't take as long as uploading and getting them to work properly. argh...

I ended up rushing my lunch and then flying around the house getting chores done. I wasn't going to exercise, but then I said to myself...

"Self, you need to do something. Yes, you wasted a morning and you are frustrated that you don't have time to get to the gym. But you can pull out a dvd and exercise for 30 minutes. You're committing to four days a week and this is only your second workout this week so far."

So, I did.

My eating and exercising has been in "vacation mode" lately, which has a lot to do with Thanksgiving visitors and TOM, but today I decided it's time to get back with the program. No complaining. I have been careful about my eats today, got that workout in and accepted the past week for what it is.

You'll see on the left side of my blog a little holiday-flavored reminder to not give up. Yep, because I'm not giving up on my weight loss journey over the holidays. I'd say that if I maintain this month I'd be happy, but really I'm not sure if I'm ready to settle for that.

Tomorrow is the last day of our Throwdown Challenge, so check back and see if I managed to keep my lead or if Barb caught up to me. :)

Too Much Coffee

I had five cups of coffee today. Five.

I always start my day with a cup and then have my second cup somewhere around 2:00 in the afternoon. Rarely do I have any more than that. I have a little 4-cup pot, so those two cups a day are it. Lately I've really gotten to ordering hot tea if I stop at Starbucks at Target, but not today.

Today I was cold, so I had extra coffee at home. Then a friend stopped by for a cup and number four made it's way down my throat. In the evening I had a cup - after 8:00 pm - while at a practice at our church. I think that was the final straw.

And five cups is why at midnight my mind is wired, but my body wants rest. This is not good. Not only have I had TONS of caffeine, but I am not going to get a full night's rest.

Also, I've noticed that as my mind is racing it's reminding me of how awful I feel during TOM and how I've munched again this week, and how I really, really need to get back on track to eating better. It's been an off two weeks for me health wise, and a mind that has nothing better to do than think a lot late into the evening can come up with some scary thoughts that have to be put into submission.

Thus my blogging at midnight to remind myself...

Note to self: Get back to drinking the green tea after the morning coffee. Too much coffee is not good for you - physically or emotionally.

G'nite all!

Visit With Mom

Before I share a little of my visit with my mom, here's an updated comparison of her.

My mom in March 2009 and then November 2010.

She began her journey a little over a year ago and hasn't let the challenges of being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and Breast Cancer last spring stop her from losing weight. She is truly inspirational!

Not only is she inspirational, but she continues to be helpful to me in my weight loss journey. My visit to see her a few weeks ago was proof of this.

My last visit to her house was very emotional for me. I was not careful about how I ate and it showed on the scale. This time I decided that I would ask her to help me eat like she does. She's lost about 70 pounds over the last 15 months, and this time I wanted to glean from her.

I didn't even have to ask for her help. She saw the challenge I was taking part in on my blog and emailed me before my arrival that she would help me stay on my challenge while visiting. She sure did. First, there was a fresh case of water...

Then she cooked for me, weight loss portions and healthy. We enjoyed a few treats, but in moderation. I was reminded of lessons about portions and balancing out a special treat with healthy eating in the day.

We even baked and decided to make weight-loss portion sizes of one of our favorite treats - Pumpkin Whoopie Pies. The "bigger" of the two shown below is still about a third of what we used to make and eat. wowsa! We took some of the cookies used for these sandwiches, cut them in half, spread a smaller amount of cream on them and then made ourselves even smaller treats. They were perfect for our healthier lifestyles!

I had a very nice time visiting my mom and even more, I enjoyed being on this weight loss journey with her. There was a time we used to eat and eat and eat, but not this time. We were able to enjoy a good visit and not have the focus be entirely on food. I even managed to lose 1.5 pounds that week. Glory!

Thankful Days - Hope

This morning I woke up and decided I had to carry on my thankful theme one more day to say I am thankful for hope.

hope (verb) : to expect with confidence

At my highest weight of 231 I felt hopeless. I had learned to love myself as I was, but was still gaining weight. My luck with dieting always lead to failure, so I had decided I was meant to be fat.

It wasn't long after this picture that I realized I needed to love myself enough to take care of my health. There was a little something deep inside me that knew I had to be able to do something to stop the consistent weight gain in my life.

A few conversations with my husband and a dear friend later I decided to take the small steps necessary to lose weight and take care of my health. I read a few blogs, watched a few episodes of The Biggest Loser and small sparks of hope began to ignite the smallest chance of change in my life. Just maybe I would be able to conquer this demon of overeating.

As I began making small changes to my eating and began exercising regularly I saw weight begin coming off.

By Christmas 2009 I was down about twenty pounds and the spark of hope that I could lose weight had turned into a steadily flickering flame in my life. Exercise had become a regular habit and my eating habits were changing for the better.

It's been another year and another twenty three pounds. With forty three pounds lost I'm almost halfway to my goal and I'm so thankful that hope prevails in my life. As we enter into the holiday season I am no longer hopeless about my weight and health. The thought of cooking and eating Thanksgiving dinner and baking for Christmas doesn't scare me.

• I know I will not eat everything I make.
• I know that I will exercise.
• I know that I can lose weight during the holidays.

I know I can accomplish these goals, because I am able to hope, or have the expectation with confidence, that I will reach my weight loss goals and gain control over my overeating instead of gaining more weight.

Thankful Days & Hot 100 Update #9

This week hasn't been the best for a challenge. As I posted yesterday, I am up half a pound. It's been that week where as I reach to munch on something I think "I don't care." Some of the time I felt like I was watching myself from the outside and commenting, "This is so strange how you have control all the other weeks of the month, but this one week you don't care and you aren't even bothered by it...until bedtime."

Yes, a few nights I was miserable at bedtime when I thought about what I'd eaten. The overeating always hit in the evenings, but I seriously didn't care until later in the night. This is obviously going to be an issues I must deal with. And I will.

In the meantime, today I am thankful that for a PMS week my gain was only 0.5 and not any more. I'm thankful I was able to get a grip on my eating early enough so as to not see a huge gain.

Now on to my Hot 100 goals:

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 - 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). I am up 0.5 a pound this week, but I know I'm still within my range of where I should be for the challenge. So, yellow it is. I look forward to seeing a loss again next week. Have I mentioned that I can't believe I'm in the 180's??? It's amazing to me. I

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. No. I have exercised only two days this week. Having company in from out of town has kept me busy. I'm okay with that choice.

Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym. I believe I'll get there.

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily.YES! I've been drinking anywhere from 64 - 96 oz. of water daily. It's just been so easy. The only cold drinks I've had have been a few sips of my husband's "real" Coke and one of my own...another sign of TOM coming, although it was not enjoyable beyond the first gulp or two. LOTS of water though, and coffee ( 1-2) cups a day and hot tea. :) Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. No. I think I journaled one day. Honestly, I am going to get my book journal back out, and I didn't journal some things because I was munching and knew I couldn't keep track of how much. Sad, but true.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I've decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. No.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two "foo-foo" coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Done. Not even a skinny anything this week. :)

I hope you all have a nice weekend! My grandparents are in town until Monday and we are going to do some baking, maybe some crafting, some game playing and definitely some Christmas tree decorating. :) It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Thankful Days - Throwdown Challenge

It is the end of Thanksgiving Day for us here in the United States. I've had a wonderful day of cooking, visiting, cleaning up and then relaxing with my family and visiting grandparents. It's been quiet and cozy.

Since it is Thursday it is also my weigh-in day and I did indeed weigh myself. My munching, M&M crunching week resulted in a 0.5 pound gain. Being that I've been pretty PMS'y lately, I'm not surprised and I'm thankful I reigned in the craziness before it ended up being much, much more. I have been drinking TONS of water and I'm sure that helped.

Now on to my Thankful Thoughts for Thursday. (nice, huh .. LOL )

I want to take a minute to share my thankfulness for Barb for inviting me to be in this challenge with her. I was shocked she would ask me, and touched that she considered me a friend enough to ask me. I tend to freeze up during weight-loss challenges, but I figured I'd agree and, if nothing else, be a cheerleader for her to reach her goals. Now, three weeks into the month, I find myself actually losing weight and being in the lead. A small miracle considering my track record.

Joining Barb in this challenge has proven to be greatly motivating for me. Even this week of mindless eating was curbed in because I knew I had to weigh-in today. I'm grateful she asked, and I'm even more grateful that she hasn't given up herself, even if her weeks haven't been what she may have wanted.

We have one more week to go and I will not get lazy. She could still come from behind. :)