**Warning...this is not as organized a post as I'd like it to be, but I don't have time to perfect it right now.***
My heart's desire is to be busy taking care of my home and not working so that it why I tend to want to "whine" about it. So, when my weekends are so full of activity that my housework and laundry fall behind it stressed me out.
There has been something else stressing me out a little as well. I waited to mention it after my weigh-in yesterday on purpose, because I did not want this bit of information to sound like an excuse should I have seen a maintenance or gain. I also put off telling everyone about this because my blog is about my weight loss journey and not about my daily life and I've no desire to seek pity from anyone.
However, I'm thinking that this information could have a very real impact on my weight loss journey. So, let me know what you think.
In April we found out that my brother has cancer in his leg. He is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatments before they can operate. He lives in a different state than both me and our parents, but is surrounded by a wonderful wife, in-laws and friends that are very supportive and helpful. I've been making plans to go see him when school is out here and then ....
Two weeks ago I found out my mom has breast cancer. It's been a few weeks of "A lump..we're waiting for results...Yes, breast cancer, now waiting to see what they're going to do...yes surgery, but not sure when..." etc. etc.
So, on top of working full time, 50% of my family has cancer and now I have to end my sub job two days early to fly be with my mom and dad, which means I have grades to enter, a house to get in order, etc. etc. And the news of my moms' cancer hit right during PMS.
Maybe this explains the weight gain, or why I've desperately needed the rest at the end of long days, or why I had no desire to get up early to workout.
Stressed? Just a little.
I am a woman of faith and I truly believe God has a plan for why this is all happening. I also believe that he can do a miracle, whether it be of complete healing or a miracle of strength to get through it all.
Lately, I'm also thinking that this has had a greater impact on my weight loss journey that I ever imagined it would. (Especially that week or so when I love chocolate and don't care about what I'm eating. ) For me, I've been so busy with planning and such that workouts aren't even in the picture, and I honestly haven't cared with the exception of worrying I'll lose my muscle tone and what "blogland" will think about my lack of working out. Thankfully the eating has been much better this week and I know I'm not turning to food in this time of stress. I'm taking it a day at a time and I know I'll get through it and the workouts will get back into the picture when life slows down a bit.
I'm not exactly expecting you to comment, but you're welcomed to your view of my journey. I just thought that maybe sharing this personal information would give you more insight as to why I seem so stressed lately. Maybe you haven't noticed, and then that is good. Just keep right on not noticing. :o)
Leah, I am so sorry to hear of this stress in your life right now. Wow.
ReplyDeleteIf you are interested in some information on how my step-sister is beating breast cancer without conventional treatments or hemo, let me know via email. It isn't for everyone, but it is working for her.
I'm so, so sorry about your mom and your brother being diagnosed around the same time with cancer. Of course it's stressful to you and will impact your emotions. I think the fact that you are aware of this possibility will combat any ill effects.
ReplyDeleteJust take it easy on yourself and concentrate on trying to eat healthy and support your family.
{hugs}
Diane
I'm so sorry about all of this, and hope everyone stays strong.
ReplyDeleteYou know, weight loss is more than just the scale and what we eat. Our weight is affected by everything going on in life, so unpleasant life events are not an excuse in and of themselves. It's how you deal with them that really matters.
Oh, Leah. This is major stress for your family. I pray for guidance and inspiration for the health-care professionals, your family, and you.
ReplyDeleteOf course this is going to have an impact on changes you are trying to make. You aren't letting down blogland. There are many of us struggling right now. One person commented that it almost seems to be an epidemic.
I've had some disheartening news lately, a major disappointment, and added stuff that has put my anxiety level up. And I'm slipping into old habits (binging, not exercising). I haven't posted because I'm just numb. I admire your awareness and strength to FEEL.
Posting struggles as well as successes makes it easy to relate to each other imo. This is your blog; write what you need to write.
(Hug)
Oh, Leah, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and brother. I will be praying for you, especially since this is a disease that doesn't come and go quickly. You and your family will need support for a long time to come. Please keep us posted on their progress.
ReplyDelete