Living In The Present

Today is my son's 9th birthday. I always remember hour-by-hour what I was doing on the day he was born. It can bring lovely feelings and happy thoughts, but if I'm not careful reminiscing can bring sad thoughts too. I can begin to wonder where the time has gone, where is that little baby that brought such joy to a father who had only girls before his birth? Where's the little tot who brought smiles to everyone's faces? Where's the little kid who amazed us all at his first t-ball game with his fast running and intense looks of concentration?

That's when I have to stop myself and be glad for the memories, but remember that life isn't over. I can enjoy the good memories, but I have to make sure that I'm enjoying who this little man is today. I have to make sure that I don't live too much in the past that I can't enjoy what is going on today.

In a way this is like my weight loss journey. Except not only do I have to make sure I don't revel in past failures, "could've beens" and such, but I also have to make sure I'm not living for the future only and what it will be like "when I'm thin". I can't ponder what I'll look like, what activities I'll do and how much better I'll feel to the extent that I can't enjoy where I'm at now.

I do look forward to being thinner, and for the first time in my life I feel like I truly will be there someday, but just like with the memories of son, I can't let myself miss what is happening now because I keep focusing on another time.

Instead I will enjoy today. I will enjoy the victories I'm having. I will enjoy knowing that the weight is coming off and slowly, but surely I am going to become the healthier, happier mommy and wife I want to be.

Oh, and yes, I will also enjoy my son for who he is each day!

Now, I'm off to make a birthday cake to look like a soccer field. Wish me luck! :)