"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Saturday, September 19, 2009

No Discipline Or No Desire?

Diane at Fit To The Finish wrote an article this past week about all the reasons she used to have for not sticking to a diet. As I read her article I began to think on my past dieting attempts. I never stuck to diets or maintaining weight after a large loss for various reasons which usually led to me, myself and I. I always thought it was just my lack of discipline, but now I wonder if it wasn't necessarily a lack of discipline as much as a lack of desire to be disciplined.

You see, I have always thought I was so weak to stick with anything for a long period of time. I know that is true in part, but I also know that most of my weight loss attempts were because I was frustrated with how fat I was, how awful I looked in clothing and how thin my friends were. Out of frustration I would start a diet knowing that if I followed the plan I would see results. However, dieting was always a temporary means to reach a thin end. As far as I can remember I followed diets, was proud when I stuck to it and loss weight, hated myself when I didn't, and always I dreamed of the day when I would be thin and could go back to eating as I wanted.

Often I had the discipline for a short time to see some results, but I don't think I had the true, deep down desire to see the right kind of change. I think that may have been a lot of why I never kept the weight off, or lost very much to begin with.

There was only one time that I truly desired to change and I lost 40 pounds over two years. Then some factors came into play and I didn't know how to handle it all and the weight crept back on. Another story for another time.

After that attempt and the 50 pounds I put back on I tried dieting again, but only out of frustration and not with a desire to really change..only a desire to be thinner.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've had to learn that, yes, discipline is necessary to make the changes that will bring about weight loss, but more than that I had to come to a point in my life where I had the desire to be disciplined, to see a change far greater than just eating less or exercising some. I had to desire to love myself enough to do what was best for my body.

I had to desire to be disciplined, so that discipline wasn't my enemy but my ally in the battle to lose weight. And I think this different way of thinking is making a great difference in my weight loss journey this last and final time.


  1. I really like the last paragraph where you say "Discipline is the ally, not the enemy". I never really thought about it that way and whats true about that statement is you could apply it to other areas of your life as well - that is going to be the key to helping us reach our goals as opposed to hindering us from reaching them. Love your deep thoughts!!!

  2. That difference in the way you are looking at "dieting" is what will pull you through the tough times. I like how you ended your post with "this last and final time."

    One thing I talk about in my classes, when people start talking about self-discipline, is to point out that they are very self-disciplined in many other areas of their lives. With their children, their housework, their work outside the home, their budget, etc.

    Often times, just realizing how much self discipline they have in other areas of their lives makes the seemingly impossible task of being self displined with weight, not so impossible after all!

    Have a great Sunday Leah!

  3. Steph - Looking back you're right...we can apply this to all areas of life. I'm glad you're enjoying the deep thoughts. :)

    Diane - So true about the self-discipline. I've fasted three days before for spriritual reasons and always wondered why I can be disciplined then, but not everyday. That's why I think the difference is not just the discipline, but wanting to follow through. I KNOW I can, but sometimes I'm too lazy to actually do it.

    Thank you ladies for your constant support and encouragement. I look forward to reading back on this when I'm thin and seeing how I think on "the other side".