"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Anonymous

Monday, June 22, 2009

Confessions of a Fat mom

I wasn't going to post this, but I decided to go ahead and share and be honest. 

Saturday I took my 11-year-old daughters to a birthday party at a splash park/pool.  We had already been at another birthday party for the hour-and-a-half prior to this one and it was warm out, about 90+ degrees with humidity.  

When we arrived at the splash park I mentioned in passing, "Whew! I should've brought my bathing suit!"  To which both responded with a quick look of slight horror and Ballerina gives me quick shakes of the head to say "PLEASE NO!!".  

I was like, "What??"  Then I discreetly pointed out two women sitting in swimsuits on the edge of the pool who were larger than I and reminded my daughters that at least I always wear my hawaiian cover up that goes to my knees.  

Ballerina finally says, "Well, just don't ever wear a bikini!" and we all laughed.  (another story for another time).  

Though we laughed through it and I think they were only embarrassed because their friends from school would be there not because I would actually wear mine in public (which I did at the lake a month ago)..I was hurt.  

This was the first time that I remember any of my kids being embarrassed of me and my size.  

I kept thinking, "I've finally comes to love myself as I am, get over what other people think, swim with my kids if I want to because I know I'm working on it and now I'm being rejected by them!!!!!!"    Brats.

When I pointed it out to my husband he only smiled apologetically, patted my arm and said, "Motivation."  It wasn't the response I wanted.  

I won't dwell on the little bit of pre-teen brainlessness and I will try to use it to motivate me; but it was definitely not my favorite-est of moments and something I hope I NEVER have to hear from my children again.  

Side Note:  I told another mom and she laughed and said she'd just "embarrassed" her 14-year-old by dripping mustard on her blouse in public....so I'm encouraged by that and knowing my kids really aren't vicious..just clueless sometimes.  :o)


  1. Ouch.....maybe if they struggled with weight, they would have a different outlook? I don't remember doing that to my mom, but then, there are times we don't ever remember hurting our moms and we did all the same. Anyway - thanks for sharing - that took a lot of guts.

  2. Oh Leah...what do you say? That had to of been hard for you to take. I know it wasn't easy but you will make them proud to be their mom someday.

  3. Hi Leah

    I am reading through some of these old entries. That must have really hurt. Teens can be so brutal!