Figuring Things Out

The past couple of weeks I've really been doing some soul searching in regards to my weight loss journey. I've read a few books and found some helpful advice in each of them.

I found the books by Jillian Michael's to be very intense and almost too overwhelming for me. I picked out what meat I could learn from and had to "spit" out the rest. Maybe someday I'll write a review of each of her two books I read. I'm really not in the mood right now.

The book I read by Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God, also had some very interesting and helpful insights. I honestly found parts of this more helpful than anything Jillian had to say for me and my situation. However, Geneen is very much into Buddhist thinking and meditation, which turned me off to probably ever reading another one of her books. I will keep what I gleaned from her in regards to breaking the emotional ties to food and leave it at that.

I think the best bit of advice I've received recently was directly from the word of God. I took this issue of having my mind obsessed with thinking about food to Jesus during a time of prayer and fasting that I participated in last week. Among other issues it is something that I've really needed to come to grips with.

One day I was lead to this scripture in the book of Matthew and saw it in a brand new light:

"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?" Matt. 6:25

I don't know if any of you can relate, but lately the more I think about wanting to really press on and go further in my weight loss journey the more my mind seems to think about food. It doesn't seem normal and I don't like it. I know there are other activities going on in my life, but if I'm not careful my mind is constantly leaning towards the kitchen; if not that then it's complaining about why do I have to eat better and exercise to be thin when others do not?

As I read that scripture I was really taken in by the concept "...is not the life more than meat...? "

My life doesn't have to be centered around food. This is something I'm really working on right now. So much so that I'm not even making sure I get all the fruits, veggies and water in. I'm only trying to eat when I feel hunger and stop when I'm satisfied, and I'm trying to get control over my thoughts so that my days are not consumed with weight and food.

I am not giving up on losing the weight, but I feel like if I can get control over this part of my life then everything else will fall into place. I know it is possible for God to bring deliverance in this area. As my mother told me once, I will work like it depends on me and pray like it depends on God.

I am cooking better and am trying to some extent to continue making better choices. It's actually kind of funny how allowing myself certain things/treats just doesn't feel good anymore. ie. after having some Coke a few times I wanted a glass of ice water. It was the only thing that sounded good to drink.

So, honestly, I wish I was so beyond all the emotional junk, but lately it's like a wall in front of me that I need to break down to continue on in my journey. I know how to lose weight. I know what works, so I will continue to keep that in my mind as I go throughout my days and try to figure the rest of this out.

I wish you all wonderful Fridays and good weekends. For those that are sharing successes on their blogs - THANK YOU! I've been reading them and it encourages me to not give up hope on myself. :)