First off I talked with my mom. Weight has been an issue in both of our lives. I told her my frustration with feeling like my mind is consumed with food. She suggested that I realize food may always be a struggle in my life and instead of worrying about trying to get completely delivered from those struggles I learn how to handle them.
That actually really helped me. The perfectionist in me wants to be completely free of those thoughts. When I feel like I'm not getting to that point I feel like a failure. Instead if I realize my weight and food issues are something I'll probably always have to be conscious of I will see that I can gain control over them. Possibly gaining control and learning how to handle my emotions with regards to food will bring the deliverance I'm looking for.
I also asked my blog-friend and mentor, Diane, to look over my post and email me with any observations or thoughts she had. She wrote me later and shared something I had never thought of. She is also a Christian and shared that having a mind obsessed with food when one is in the beginning of a weight loss journey can be likened to when a person first becomes a Christian or when a person first begins dating their spouse.
She said, "Remember how you were probably "obsessed" with those things, but then as those relationships became cemented and stronger you were able to enjoy the relationships in context with your life? That's how I look at the weight loss journey. Yes, there may be times when you are a little bit obsessed with making good choices, but over time, those choices are part of who you are and will NOT take up that much time."
I had never thought about having a mind obsessed with food in that way. I guess in a way it's a healthy obsession. Kind of like my husband spending hours and hours studying and going to college for eight years is healthy if he's going to be a good dentist when he graduates.
So, I'm much more encouraged today because I've learned two very valuable lessons:
- I accept that my weight is an issue that I'll most likely always have to deal with, but instead of letting that idea vex me I will learn how to deal with the negative emotions when they arise.
- Taking time to learn what works best, journal out my thoughts and feelings, talking with people who can bring insight into my journey, etc. is all good. It's healthy to learn the most I can and strive to work towards reaching a place where my healthy habits are cemented in my life.
I do have to end this by saying that if you don't see daily posts on here please know it's only because I have had other things in life take up my time. I'm trying to make sure I make good use of my time on the computer and not waste away the hours on here....it's so easy for me to do. :)
Have a good day!