As much as I didn't like Tracy on TBLoser's Season 8 she made a comment in her finale interview that I could really appreciate. It went something like this: "Before [in the past] I never finished what I started and now I have finally finished something I started."
I can totally relate to that.
I have also been a person who starts things and doesn't finish them, whether it be crafts, projects, or my weight. I get excited about something, I start it, I get a little done, but I don't finish.
I'm not sure why this is. I think some of it falls under the contentment category. I buy a project to do and then something better comes along. Actually in the crafting area I think I just get distracted or bored, but in the weight area I think I get lazy and comfortable and maybe, I'm learning, even just a little bit scared.
Something I've learned this year is that I'm really nervous about actually reaching my goal weight and being the thin person I've always felt is trapped inside. I've always been the chubby, sedentary girl and becoming a thin, active woman would be someone very different that what my friends and family have known all these years. It would be showing them that I'm capable of something that is very hard to overcome and that is foreign to me.
Wow. There, I said it again. So, as far as weight goes I think I know a little bit of why I may never have finished in the past. And that being said, I know why I am going to finish this time.
I'm not going to reach my goal just to show everyone I can, but honestly because I think deep down there has always been a desire to be more active and treat my body with better care. I just never knew how to do it, or I never thought I could do it.
Yet, week by week, month by month I have learned about issues I needed to deal with and I've learned what tools I need to use to reach my weight loss goals. I'm learning what works for me and what I need to do to make it all work together for the good of my weight loss.
There have been tears, joys, frustrations and victories. It's been a long, tough beginning, but I'm finally seeing some breakthroughs. There is still a long road ahead of me, but I'm ready to accept the challenge and keep working at losing the weight.
When I started this weight loss journey back in May I decided that I was going to finish it, no matter how long it took, and I will. I may come in "last", but I will finish. I will reach my new ending. :)