The book was very interesting. It's interesting to me to see what goes on behind the scenes at the ranch, but also to see what issues came up in her life. Some of it I can totally relate to, but some of it I can't at all and I'm so glad.
One thing she really battled was self-worth. She didn't feel worthy enough to care about herself.
That is one low I feel I've never ever hit. While I've battled self-esteem in terms of thinking I'm not good enough at stuff or I'm so fat compared to so-and-so, I haven't let it stop me from being happy in general. I was raised in a very caring home and then married a wonderful, loving man who continues to love me no matter what size I was/am. I know this has a lot to do with my self-worth, because honestly, no matter how I felt inside I've been able to find joy in my life and not let my weight steal it completely.
That's why I always said I was a 'happy eater'. :) But I digress...
I'm noticing a trend that many people feel like they will only be worthy to be who they really are when they are thin. This saddens me, because really that's putting an unhealthy emphasis on weight and size. It is one aspect of The Biggest Loser I can't agree with.
Geneen Roth writes wonderfully about learning to love yourself if you never lost another pound. I battled for months with this concept, and maybe I'll write about that another day.
For today, I have to say that it saddens me to know that there are people who only feel like they are worth something when they
exercise, eat right and maintain a slim body are skinny. An overweight person is worth just the same as a thin person, they just fight different issues in their lives.
Yes, I have battled a fear of rejection and acceptance from those around me, but thankfully I've never fell so low as to feel I'm not even worthy of taking care of myself. I've had other feelings, or reasons/excuses for not being able to lose weight. Yet, none of these feelings did or should take away from my self worth. We all have imperfections, but God will love us for who we are.
I hope people out there who are trying to lose weight will see that they are worthy to be loved and accepted by themselves and others for who they are no matter what they weigh. If a person's self-worth is based on a size of clothing or a number on the scale then they will be sorely let down and that, my friends, is no way to live.